When do routines become important/necessary

[Fizzl]

Looking for advice (or probably reassurance!) re routines. My baby is 8 weeks old and we very much just go with the flow each day so no two days look the same. From being about two weeks old she seemed to naturally start settling for the night around 11ish (I used to worry this was late for a baby but now realise totally normal for tiny babies). She used to cluster feed then conk out around that time. The cluster feeding seemed to stop around 4 weeks (coincidentally when I learnt about wake windows and started encouraging naps in an evening) but we've kept the same rough routine of bath around 9:30-10, feed and popped in her cot around 11ish because it works for her and us. In an evening now we just encourage naps and feeds until we're ready to go up to bed. She normally wakes twice through the night and up for the day between about 8:30-9:30 which is great. I try to keep an eye on awake time throughout the day to make sure she gets plenty of daytime sleep.

Now my worry is that at some point this will need to change and I'm already worried about changing a good thing! I know she's still too tiny for a rigid routine and not looking to introduce that as we prefer the flexibility but wondering when do I need to start thinking about introducing a more structured routine rather than just going with the flow each day? I'd rather keep her downstairs with us until we go to bed until she's 6 months because of sids advice but is this too late?! I'm probably (most likely) overthinking and know sleep regressions are going to mess with things anyway. Anyone done similar until 6months and it's not been a complete disaster?!

Congratulations on your DD! I'm a first time Mum and worried about all these things too. I love a routine myself but learnt to just go with the flow (which was very hard for me personally). We kept our DS downstairs with us as long as we could. I think until about 4 months in his moses basket (we used to watch TV with the subtitles on) and then we all went to bed together around 11ish. Then it was just too stimulating so used to put DS upstairs in our room on the baby monitor around 9ish. That then progressed until we put him in his own room about 7 months old. Now DS is 10 months old and has fallen into his own routine of bedtime around 7pm and awake around 6am. So I would say you are doing an perfect job as you are and your lovely baby will dictate the rules to you!

Ours slipped into a routine about 5 months, prior to that I allowed myself to be fairly led by them

Honestly, I think as illustrated by myself @DisneyGirl2387 it works if you allow yourself to be led by them to start with. Lots of mums will say similar...I've seen very similar threads before.

DD used to go up to bed in our room at 9 then we'd go up an hour or so after at 4 months then into her own room at 6 months, by which point she had a reasonably good routine. I didn't really instigate a routine, she just sort of fell into it. Also it changed and changed again and still changes now she's 1 as she naps longer, has solid meals, wakes later for the day. Its certainly not something I stressed over particularly despite my SIL trying to press the book 'baby secrets' onto me

My baby set his own routine. I just went with the flow. He’d fall asleep about 7 then wake up at 10 have a feed then go back to sleep. He’d be in a travel cot in the living room until I went to bed and i’d take him with me. Didn’t wake up at all.
From 6 months i put him in his cot for those sleeps and by then the 10pm wake up stopped.

I found one gradually emerged. We hit a weird period where he turned in an absolute banshee at about 2-3 months from 8-9pm and we realised that he needed a bedtime and we couldn't keep him downstairs with us in the evening. The naps coalesced by about 4 months I think and we were in a pretty solid routine from maybe 5 months. I always made sure he could nap in the pram as well as at home as I didn't want to be tied to the house when he was sleeping.

I was very/ entirely baby led for the first year. I watched various mum friends tie themselves in knots with their baby routines and just found life easier if I didn’t. Once we were down to one nap the timing of that nap became more critical for a reasonable bedtime (and I started wanting to watch TV in the evenings with dh etc) so the routines came in then. I’d say don’t worry and definitely don’t listen to anyone who uses the phrase ‘rod for your own back’ because they will definitely be wrong

Ah thanks for the responses so far! All really reassuring and kind of reinforces what I hope will happen and that she will just naturally fall into a routine herself overtime and we'll keep being led by her. I want to try and gently encourage a slightly later bedtime in the long-run to keep slightly later get ups as this works better for us as a family but we'll see how it goes overtime.

@bakingdemon napping everywhere and anywhere is also something I'm encouraging. I had a phase when she was about 4 weeks where I was determined I wanted her to nap in her cot but I quickly realised it would be massively restricting in the long run and she'd always napped better/for longer in her pushchair, car seat or on us. I soon accepted it wasn't worth the battle when she slept in there fine at night so now naps happen anywhere depending on what we're doing and it works well for us.

Think I need to just trust my instincts more! We've done ok so far winging it but I just doubt I'm getting it right sometimes and look for reassurances that I'm not getting it completely wrong 😂🤦🏼‍♀️