What would you do? 2 evening wedding receptions and babysitting?

[Ccoffee217]

We have an 18 month old son, and been invited to 2 evening wedding receptions both next month. They are DH’s family and he’s not bothered about going and neither am I.
We also don’t have any babysitting options easily available.

We have never had huge amounts of help, I’ve left DS with my parents for a few hours once or twice but that’s it.
Question is, does it look bad if we both don’t go to the wedding receptions, and blame baby sitting?
Would you go to one and find a babysitter even though you’ve not left your child with anyone else (in the evening), and not the other?

Is it generally okay to blame baby sitting for family events like that? I’m confused!!

It is perfectly fine not to go to any event if you don't want to go.

If you don’t want to go defo don’t go, if one of you wants to go then you can and leave your toddler with the other parent, if you both want to go find a babysitter and go when he’s in bed if he’s a good sleeper he won’t even know you’ve gone! You must have some form of childcare surely?!

I think for you both to refuse and blame babysitting would look a bit like you didn't want to go. But fine for one to refuse and the other to go alone. Or - maybe you don't mind them thinking you don't want to go!

Hmm. In my family you do go out of your way to attend family weddings but IMO evening dos are a bit different, you'renot being invited to be part of the actual wedding. Difficult when there's 2 in quick succession too!

I think if you don't mind increased distance between your little family and the wider family, I would indeed say you haven't reached the point of having babysitters yet. Otherwise one of you could go.

In that situation, I think my husband would go to both on his own as it’s his family. If the child(ren) were invited, we’d have booked a room as near to the venue as we could and chanced a late night.
Unless there’s an obvious priority (like one wedding is a sibling and the other is a cousin) then I wouldn’t risk going to just one in case it offended the other couple.

If it’s dh’s family, I would expect him to go alone, if it was childfree. We’ve done this lots of times or I went alone if was a friend of mine. I don’t think you can blame babysitting under these circumstances as will look a bit not genuine. Why not just say you can’t attend?

Or alternatively, if all invited, go as a family. My dc have always enjoyed weddings and we’ve taken them from quite young.

Neither of you are bothered about going therefore I'd not waste my money by going.
They've given you the dreaded evening invites therefore I'd not care what they thought about your non-attendance

If DH doesn’t want go just decline and say they don’t feel that close to the family or whatever. Least they have space invite someone else. Just leaving till the day and blaming babysitter just looks like couldn’t be bothered as he could come on own.

Going forward worth finding someone local neighbour or student who could do odd babysitter for when you just want some time out or events to go too.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions and thoughts, really helpful actually, spoke with DH and we’ve agreed he’s going to one of them (his auntie’s), the other (his second cousin) were going to swerve all together.

Taking of babysitting, who do other people use? Do people tend to take their child to a family members house for a sleepover? Or do you have someone come to your house? Is this normally family or friends? Thanks all!

My dc are pre-teen and we're lucky to have two sets of grandparents who have always been able to have the dc over for a sleepover if needed.
If we didn't have this then I'd probably ask a friend if they could look after my dc overnight either at their home or ours. When the children got older I'd ask if any of their friends parents would mind a sleepover ( and offer to have their child one night in return).
I've never needed to use a paid babysitter.