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Tips for 2 year old

10 replies

pancakes22 · 01/09/2021 18:51

I appreciate that 2 year olds are tricky creatures, however... any tips for getting through the defiance?!

Few examples of my current frustration:

  • Shouting at top of his voice at all opportunities
  • hitting/kicking
  • licking
  • screaming for 20-30 minutes when not getting his own way or if we have told him off
  • pulling everything out of cupboards
  • throwing food/toys
  • completely ignoring whenever I say no
  • fussy eating but constantly asking for food

I'm so fed up and am just resorting to being much more of a shouty mum than I would like to admit!

OP posts:
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Ricekrispie22 · 01/09/2021 19:51

Give him as many opportunities as possible to burn off lots of energy, to be as loud as he likes and as messy as he likes. That way, he’s more likely to take you seriously and won’t mind as much when you ask him to rein in a bit.
Turn everything into a game, where possible. E.g play the toddler version of I Spy when you’re food shopping, pretend he’s a dinosaur eating trees when he’s having broccoli etc…
When you ask him to do/not to do something, give him a reason. He’s getting to the age where he can understand e.g. he mustn’t run in a car park because he could trip and get run over, or he can’t have an ice cream because it’s nearly lunchtime or he can’t have a toy because you don’t have enough money for it etc….
If you threaten him with a consequence for acting up e.g. taking him home if he runs off etc… then whatever you do, you must follow through with it.
Use his teddies/soft toys to get him to do things. E.g. do a funny voice as his teddy asking him to sit still.

Snorkello · 02/09/2021 08:04

Great advice from PP re getting him out and about to burn off energy! I think most of us have been there, so don’t sweat it. You’re doing a great job!

Best advice is to let it go! Stop worrying about the house, the mess etc.

Then, Make it all fun. Laugh, tease, tickle, make jokes and play. It will make you happier too.

For example- throwing clothes and toys, sing song things like ‘what are you up to!’ Then turn it into a game of catch. Once the game is over, encourage him to bring it all back to put away. Encourage lots of games that turn his frustrations into fun, then into being helpful.

When he kicks and hits, you can pull him into a hug, tickle, blow raspberry’s on his tummy, be full of smiles and say something like ‘are we being cheeky!’. Then change the game into something else once he’s giggling and no longer angry.

Switch it all around to be fun. If he wants to pull clothes out, let him, even join in with him, then show him how to put them back once he is calmer.

With food, take him to explore the kitchen, look together, cook together. Ignore food throwing. He will do it more if he gets a reaction.

Don’t be negative or shout. He will emulate. So if you shout, so will he.

Basically, he is after attention, so you need to give that to him, but by creating fun, and encouraging the good behaviour, you will see a difference.

rosesandsalvia · 02/09/2021 08:24
  • lots of outside time where he can throw leaves, hit trees with sticks etc
  • if he is doing something dangerous say firmly "no, we don't..:" then remove the object / him from situation & distract with another game
  • offer lots of pointless choices eg. Do you want a banana or apple? Pink or Green plate? Do you want to walk out of the park or mummy carry you?

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TeresaLambert · 02/09/2021 08:32

That sounds like a helpful suggestion! my son is also very fidgety, I wonder where he gets the energy from. somedays I feel soo restless and annoyed while some days I prefer to enjoy myself with him too.

mayblossominapril · 02/09/2021 08:34

Lots of time outside. Buy yourself a decent coat and footwear and embrace picnics

pancakes22 · 04/09/2021 10:08

Thank you all for your great advice. You all sound absolutely wonderful and much more patient than me!

Example of a couple of hours this morning. I tried giving choice of porridge or yoghurt for breakfast. He choose yoghurt but then refused to eat it. I went to help my daughter with something and he smeared it all over his legs and face. He then said banana but after I peeled it he refused to eat that too. I decided to take your advice and take them out to the beach rather than get annoyed about the food wastage. My older daughter wanted to play what's the time mr wolf so I tried to be fun and join in but she then screamed and got annoyed with me when I caught her so I ended up getting annoyed with her for being silly with that, got to the beach and 2 yo just threw sand down my top and all over my clothes and emptied our water bottle over the stones so then I ended up telling him off for that too!

I'm really trying to have fun with them but it just ends up with me shouting at them all the time and I hate myself for it

OP posts:
Ricekrispie22 · 04/09/2021 11:10

You gave him a choice of yogurt or porridge. He chose yogurt, but then chose to not eat it. If it had been me, that would have been end of breakfast. Banana wasn’t one of the options. He can have it later as a mid morning snack.
And about throwing sand over your top… if it had been be and I thought it had been deliberate, I would have packed up and left.

Snorkello · 04/09/2021 11:13

Sounds like a standard family day out!! Grin

I don’t have patience, I have simply given in! None of us are perfect. We get it wrong, we shout, we get frustrated fixing on perfection. Give yourself a break and a mental hug! You are a great mum who is trying her best. You don’t have to be zen all the time, and ignoring the food issue is one step forward.

Remember that one day your house will be clean, your house will be quiet, your holidays and trips to the beach will be calm. Then sometimes you will realise you miss sand being thrown at you, loud children insisting you play and judge the best sand castle. So give in, accept its just a phase and don’t let the mum guilt get you down! And by all means, continue to tell your kids not to throw sand! It’s all going to be okay.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 04/09/2021 11:26

Id let go of all the stuff being pulled out the cuboards. I have 3 sacrificial cuboards that I let mine get into which have the tupperware, pots/pans, ladels, wooden spoons etc etc in. Basically stuff which cant hurt and wont break. I showed my son how to make drums out of pans and a wooden spoon - its noisy but it keeps him occupied whilst im trying to do things.

I agree with getting outside. I like to go for a walk in the woods near us. I let my son run around, pick flowers and throw said flowers etc. I showed him that we can eat blackberries from some bushes. Now we have bushy fruity snacks whilst out too! Then when we get home he's too tired to really get up to much mischeif. I havent tried picnics yet, that sounds like a good idea from pp.

Its not always a fool proof solution though. The other day he wouldnt stop climbing all over the window sills so I ended up putting on the tv for him just to keep him out of trouble because I had things I needed to do. Not perfect at all and I hate distracting with tv, but honestly, sometimes its the only thing that'll work.

rosesandsalvia · 04/09/2021 11:34

Sounds like you did a good job ignoring the food issue and getting everyone out of the house. Toddlers love attention (well we all do really!) so they will repeat behaviour that gets a nice big reaction from mummy, even if that attention is not positive. Nobody is perfectly calm all the time and there is nothing like small children who know how to push your buttons, so be kind to yourself and remember you are doing the best that you can. Distraction & redirection and pick your battles.

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