Where to put baby during the day

[scg18]

Please help, I am first time mum and struggling with anxiety after a difficult pregnancy and I feel so unsure about myself.

DH goes back to work next week after 4 weeks off with me and the baby. I am struggling to understand what I do with the baby through the day, where I put him if I want to go to the toilet or try and do some things in the kitchen etc. I'm not planning on putting the baby down all day but I also can't carry the Moses basket downstairs every morning because I can't carry that and the baby. There are so many options of things like the dock-a-tot or bouncer or playmat or pram or a second Moses basket and I just feel totally overwhelmed and confused about what is safe/practical.

With my anxiety I like to have a plan, I know you can't have structure with a 4 week old but a plan of where I put him down for various situations would help me.

I'd appreciate any thoughts and advice about what you all do/did with your baby through the day. I know it probably seems basic knowledge to have so it's probably a silly question but I'm grateful for any help and advice.

Are you on any local Facebook groups?

Around here, people are always trying to give away bouncers and playmats and stuff so you can try a few things out.

My first loved the bouncer with music and toys, my second was more of a playmat baby

Little baby safe stations in different rooms! Assuming no dog/cat, baby can be left safely on a play gym, in a bouncer/rocker/swing, on a comfy (but firm) play mat, wear baby in a sling, pop baby in the pram carry cot, etc., when popping to the loo/putting the kettle on. For showering, I used to set up the bouncer or swing in the bathroom so baby could see me and I could get to them easily if needed. You will find a way that works for you. I remember the anxiety of my DH going back to work after paternity but I promise you'll be fine!

A sling is great for letting you carry the baby while keeping your hands free. Mine never really liked being put down in bouncers etc but would chill in the sling for hours.

Bouncer chairs from newborn if get cheaper ones or second hand, then get one for upstairs and downstairs, can pop them in there in bathroom if you like whilst you shower.
I'd totally recommend getting up and out to playgroups /baby yoga etc most days or just walk to shops /friend/family. If you can do this in the morning it will give your day some rhythm. They sleep a lot for a while and can be lonely.
Great to get advice on here and in person too.
You will be fine x

Also I meant to say don't spend a fortune on stuff for this stage, it will pass so quickly and as soon as they can roll and crawl the game /stuff changes again.
Get good basics, don't fall into the only the best will do trap.

I had terrible SPD even after my DS was born, so couldn't carry him up or down stairs, especially in a moses basket - I could barely climb stairs at all. DH used to take him and the moses basket down in the morning before he went to work, which meant I had to be out of bed and showered etc, and downstairs before he left. DS demanded to be held 24/7 pretty much, even when he napped so I basically just held him or he screamed while I went to the toilet/tried to make lunch/made a brew. Nothing got down around the house. "Happy" days.

I used the floor a lot (they cant roll off it) , usually with a blanket underneath baby. Sometimes I'd use the moses basket (baby can be on the floor whilst you get it).

For the loo, I'd either leave them on the floor in the lounge (make the most of the last months of solo toilet trips) or bring them up and have them on my shoulder/sling whilst i went.

In terms of what i did in a day, I'd usually:

• do some chores/tidying whilst baby was in the mat, and then sit down and have breakfast. When they were having a nap in the morning id get dressed, showered etc and check the baby bag. Then we'd go out, shopping, seeing friends etc. We'd come back and I'd alternate feeding, nap, chores, and me just chilling out, with some playing. Sometimes wed just nap together in bed (i miss those days!!)

If you have hard floors then you could buy the Eva foam mats, not the baby ones that the letters can be pushed out of they are a nightmare but big ones, you can even get them in B&Q whilst your baby is small you could pop one against the wall in any room you are likely to want to put LO down in as they won't take up much room and then when they are bigger can fix them together as a playmat, which is useful for when they are learning to sit and tumble backwards or learning to walk and fall on their bum a lot. .

Playmat or bouncer. Currently have him strapped to me to unload the shopping though too.

Another moses basket and bouncy chair downstairs in the short term.

@scg18

Get a bouncer for downstairs and a cheap £5 second hand one to keep upstairs. I used the bouncer from birth. I'd go in the shower and baby sits in bouncer and I'd play peek a boo when they got to around 2 months old.

I keep a playmat down by our downstairs loo to whip out when I need to use it.

I drag the nice bouncer into the kitchen when I need it to use the kitchen.

I recommend the infantino carrier they're essentially the same as Ergo baby ones but £100 cheaper.

Oh and get a £5/10 moses basket stand and use the bassinet bit of your pram as a downstairs moses basket

Sling. Bouncers are useful but make sure they fully recline as babies shouldn't be in a sitting position ( eg car seat) for too long at this age.

Ooh and those foam jigsaw mats to cover hard floors, also great for tummy time

We had a play at for DD downstairs that worked well, she also had a bouncy chair for some variety. The sling was also very handy for things like washing up or for when she didn't want to be put down.
If I needed the loo, I'd just put her in her cot for 2 mins.
For showers, you could shower when DH is home or you could put the bouncy chair in the bathroom.
If you are very worried about them tolling or moving whilst you are out the room, go for a playpen. It will help in knowing that they won't have rolled over to something and pulled up on it.

If you can, get 2 bouncers. I had one upstairs and one downstairs (second hand). Saves the faff of carrying them about.
We also had a swing that detaches a bit like a car seat. That was brilliant, also second hand.

Plus I used a sling indoors and I had a play mat/gym in the kitchen diner and in the sitting room. Again these were all cheap/free.

I loved this in particular- uk.joiebaby.com/product/serina-2in1/ (got it on ebay and will sell it on for pretty much what I paid)

Upstairs I would put him in the Next2Me crib while I showered. Downstairs he was in the Moses basket or on the floor on a playmat if I needed the loo, loaded the washing machine or made a cuppa.

For anything longer than a couple of mins, I’d wear him in a sling or put him in a bouncy chair.

He rolled early and crawled at 5 months, so the days of putting him down and him staying there were short lived. I have friends who’s babies weren’t as active so they could put their babies in Sleepyhead type things on the sofa but I wouldn’t recommend.

Either the cot for a few mins while I went to the loo or if I wanted a shower I'd take the bouncy chair upstairs and put her in it while I showered (she seemed to like the noise so always stayed happy!). Or I often had the pram set up downstairs and could put her in that. we also have a tripp trapp high chair that you can get a newborn seat for, that was handy for while I was cooking (especially useful if you have a dog as it's higher up than a bouncy chair). Or she'd go in the bouncy chair watching me (or watching the washing machine ) while I cooked.

When she got a bit older and still now at 7 months as she isn't quite crawling, I'll put her on her tummy on the bath mat while I go to the loo. She's always really interested in the texture of it!

I agree with using the cot for some short periods like getting changed or going to the toilet, as I think it helps them to familiarise with it and when you come to use it for naps they'll recognise it as a nice place to be.

Playmats, bouncy chairs are all great. My DD is now 18months and I'm now using a collapsible playpen for the same purpose when I can't have my eyes on her every second. It's been worth every penny.

Well, what do you already have?

We tend to use the carrycot from the pram. I have a folded toddler duvet in there which cradles him a but like a sleepyhead, so won't leave him in there unattended for long. Or I leave him in the middle of the bed (won't once he can roll).

There are lots of options and for the most part it doesn't really matter which you choose.

With my first I had all sorts of options:

• Floors, obviously.
• Bednest crib in our bedroom and then later cotbed once she'd outgrown it.
• Rocking cradle and playpen were both in the dining room.
• Pram carrycot was used in the living room or attached to the pram base in the hallway.
• Infant carrier car seat used anywhere and everywhere but obviously only for short periods.
• Bouncy chair used in the living room.

I'm expecting DC2 soon and there will be a lot fewer options this time because we have a lot less space what with all DD's toys and other paraphernalia. Probably just have:

• Next2Me crib in our room
• I suppose I could use DD's cotbed too in her room
• Bouncy chair for living room
• Floors
• Pram carrycot for downstairs
• Infant carrier car seat
• Buggy that has newborn recline in the hallway
• Playmat that someone bought us for DD when she was too big for it

Am hoping to do a lot more babywearing this time using either the sling we have or the Baby Bjorn carrier but we will see how I recover from birth and my PGP. Didn't get on with it with DD due to back pain. Am aware that I can't leave the baby with DD unattended either this time so that will make things trickier too.

Bless you OP, I used to feel totally the same when my eldest was born. I used to panic about what the right or best thing to do was. Took me a long time to realise that it was about what worked best for me and my baby.

Try and use what you have. Pram works well downstairs and you can move them about in rooms if napping. Maybe get a bouncer if you haven’t one, ours was handy for when we tried to eat.

Just get some thick towels or blankets you already have and leave folded in bathroom so you can lay baby down in there if needed.

I made sure there was somewhere in every room to put a baby down - especially when I had a toddler and baby combo. What I had was
Hall - buggy where she also had quite a lot of her daytime naps
Living room- sheepskin on floor
Kitchen - bouncer
Bathroom - changing mat.
So basically a pre determined place in every room I could put the baby down quickly!

Pram downstairs, cot upstairs, carrycot if out.
Floor if necessary.
Didn’t have the huge selection of options when mine were babies years ago!