There is a saying about making up for lost time. I can't remember how to goes or if it's in favour of making up lost time or says it's not do-able.
It really is doable though. Say I want to go back to a previous relationship, as long as the other person is still alive, we can make up lost time.
We will never get to go back in history and spend 2002-2007 together but we sure can smash out all the things we would have done then together in the now. That person will still be the same.
Miss my old job from a year ago? Easy. Apply for the same role in either the same company or a different one.
You might not be sitting as high on the corporate ladder as you would be if you never left the job, but start back as an assistant and there's nothing to say you won't be a supervisor in a years time. You just skipped a year.
Missed the post 3.4 years of your son's life through absolutely no fault of your own? Well once you've cut through the s**t circumstances, your toxic abusive mother who can't ever admit fault ever, your controlling father who will do what he pleases and stops at nothing even if it means lying in the federal court of Australia and somehow getting his lawyer to as well. Oh, and then securing a home in your home state where one rental property, that has has increased by 30% in price since 2018 and easy and has50 + applicants, the state where families are living in tents and the wait list for government housing is 3 years - if you're classed as emergency (facing homelessness and needing to move to another state just so you have a roof over your head doesn't count. The whole moving part actually gets you thrown off the list) ...
So say you get through all these "hiccups" , sure! Go back and pick up where you left off with your son. When he asks at 11 what age he's going to move out of home - to which you explain there is no set age - most kids move between 18 and 28 these days! - and he replies matter of factly - well mum, I'm prob not going to ever move out then cos I don't want to ever leave you.
But wait- what's happened? He's really tall now. 6'3 and towering over me. He even sounds different. His laugh and smile and dimples and that thick thick hair i spent countless nights stroking when he had a bad dream or leg pains - He's not even in primary school - he's almost finished year 10.
See? Any relationship, circumstance, place in your life you can go back too. But kids? Your whole purpose to life? They didn't pause growing. And time machines aren't real.
How do you live with your self knowing your reason for existing has grown up and is going to keep growing until he moves away - your little man that was such a little sook but God love him for being him and not pretending to like all the shooting war games on the PS4 - that same kid tells you matter of factly that he is going to join the armed forces after school. He wants to travel and it's a good opportunity he says without emotion or even an infliction in his tone.
- he use to leap out of his father's car after spending a weekend away from me and dive into my arms usually carrying a little bunch of flowers he picked from dad's garden.
How do you bare this sort of pain that takes your heart and rips it from your chest. Daily.