I'm just looking for some advice from other mums if they have experienced the same thing or going through it now or even if you can just give me any little bit of advice as I really feel lost at the moment.
So basically spilt with my daughters dad 2 half years ago due to him being abusive, since got over all that well I thought by me leaving the relationship it would end. I generally feel like I'm still getting mentally abused. I'm constantly drained and upset as I'm always getting called a bad mum and that I don't see my daughter enough I don't do this I don't do that etc. I worked 5 days a week then the odd weekend yes that is a lot but it's what you have to do as a single parent. I have my daughter Sunday evenings to Friday evenings then he picks her up. So he can go to work freely Monday to Friday not a problem for him. However I have struggled to get my daughter looked after as she is only 3. And I can't afford child care. I've done the whole free hours or whatever it is it was only 2 days a week that wasn't enough so I had to leave my job as I was constantly getting called a bad mum because I worked the same hours as he did only thing was I was stressed trying to get close family members who were retired to have her and eventually I just had enough to quit my job so I didn't feel like I was doing s rubbbish job as a mum as all mums know there's nothing worse than feeling like a bad mum or even being told one. So I cut all contact with him said just pick her up on a Friday at 5pm till Sunday 2pm there his times. So my daughter was going to Spain with her nan on the Saturday morning so he came and picked her up with his new girlfriend of 2 months the most outside my house a little upsetting as I found it disrespectful but nothing to make a big scene an dance about what can I do. So my daughter came back Friday 27th so I asked her dad if he would like to have her his normal hours as he hadn't seen her the week before he was fine with that no problems. She comes home Sunday 5pm I had gone out with my friends for a few drinks just as I hadn't seen them for a while and it was the only day everyone could do. ( my daughter was with my nan at home completely safe of course) so my daughters dad seems to know exactly what time I have gotten home apparently 6.30am which it was not it was 3am lol either way us mums are alllowed a night out also. But I've been called everything under the sun and also that my daughter wasn't in safe hands. I'm not fit to look after my daughter even though I am the most sensible 23 year old you can get probably lol I have about 3 glasses of wine on a night out and it's time for me to go home cos my feet are hurting. But he's 33 years of age and all he seems to do is call me all kinds and drag me through the mud when I do nothing but the best for my daughter. I just don't feel like I can take it anymore. It's not like I go out drinking every single week. Also to mention before sayjng I'm not fit to look after my daughter he texted my nan ( as that's who we go through) can he take Isabella to a party his friends so if am honest I said no at first cos I had missed her I wanted to see her so ended up saying yes as I'm not going to let her miss out on a party as I didn't the night before lol but only to realise after one of his family members who he had been slagging me off to making a whole load of lies up to realise there wasn't even a party he had lied taken my daughter cos he feared for her safety apparently so when i had texted at tea time to ask what time she was getting dropped off he texted back she's staying with me I've already put her in bed at it got to 7pm and I was confused as to why I hadn't heard anything then to find out all that about not being able to look after my daughter. I rang and asked why he thought this and if this was the case why not just speak to me rather than tell everyone and manipulate me. I would never and never have put my daughter in danger. I literally went on a night out with my friends and I've been made out to be this awful mum I dont take drugs I dont go on the missing list I dont palm my daughter off to anyone. Why am I being made out like this? I have no one to talk to and I'm just really struggling at the moment how can someone be so disgusting. All my daughter ever says is my daddy shouts at mummy and it breaks my heart cos I've left that relationship to not give her trauma I just don't know what to do cos if I stop letting him see her I'm the bad person again I'm always the bad person and I just don't understand why I always try my absolute best. Sorry for the rant I just need other mums if they get it or any advice. Thank you