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I used to hurt my baby, I feel so cruel. Please help me

2 replies

justhereokay · 30/08/2021 19:22

TW- this may be upsetting with mentions of mental health issues!!

Hi, I first would like to add me and ds are under orders from social services and he is safe. I am working with professionals currently too. Everyone is aware of this. I have been very honest with proffesionals and ss about it.

I am a single mother and have a long history of poor mh. I have BPD, OCD and anxiety. This all started when ds was around 4/5 mos when his father left. I would pinch/flick him for no apparent reason. I wouldn't do it hard or forcefully to leave a mark but it would sometimes make him cry and I'd regret it straight after and comfort him. It's not out of anger and definitely not for enjoyment it's almost like a "tic" I can'r explain it. It even baffles psychologists. I always hoped it was some disorder and there is some treatment for it but no avail.

Ds is now 1.5 and we have an amazing bond and i know with this issue aside, I am a good mother and love him to pieces. He is very advanced and a sociable happy lo.

Now, it's all I think about 24/7 and feel guilt, sometimes suicidal or wanting to harm myself so I can make it "even" for the pain I cause him and to punish myself. I also have thoughts of wanting to give him up bc I just can't cope with the guilt.

I don't know what I am wanting to hear from someone. My parents say I am not evil and I need to move on. But how?? I have had little mh support and been on waiting lists for things that wouldn't even help.

please someone just save me :(

OP posts:
HowToMurderYourLife · 30/08/2021 19:28

Oh darling I want to come and give you a big hug. You have done the right thing being open with all the professionals and trying to seek help.

What your baby needs most now is his mother, alive and well and taking care of him. You are not evil and you love him very much. Can you speak to your Doctor again and see if they can chase up some specialist support for you?

wtfisgoingon2021 · 30/08/2021 19:31

I had postpartum psychosis with my first child.
Was horrendous. Completely manic most of the time.

But I did the same thing to my baby. It was like an anger inside me I just had to hurt her.
I think it was partly because I was ill and partly stemmed from past trauma and abuse.

My daughter is much older now and like you I love her very much and we have a great bond it's like that person wasn't even me.

Forgive yourself it's all you can do. For you and your child.
Thanks

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