When to ask for help (single mum)

[PumpkinSpicedLatte]

Hi, i am suffering severe PND, my DD has just turned one.
It’s been horrendous depression wise. I am under professional help and have a good network of friends and currently signed off work sick.
On the third medication now with no luck.
DH left in April.
I am feeling VERY low tonight. Tremendously low.
With tomorrow being bank holiday my daughter is not at the child minders.
At what point is it ok to reach out and ask someone to have her for me for the day so I can go and take a breather? I’m worried nobody will trust me and although I have a good network, only two of my friends know about the severity of my depression. My ex is at work, and I’m not in touch with his parents so, that’s a no.
I feel stupid and daren’t ask for help but I know realistically I need it.
My best friend is off work and doesn’t go away until Friday but I know her partner is off this week and I don’t want to interrupt their time together.
I guess I feel lost.
Advise would be really appreciated.
Thank you

Hi OP
Sorry to hear you're struggling
Please ask your friend for support and to have DD. What are your plans if you can have her looked after?

Sorry to hear you're feeling low & well done for fighting through and acknowledging that you need a breather. Ask away! I'm sure your best friend would love some quality time with baby & give you a well deserved break and space to yourself.

@MrsChuckBass thank you so much for replying. I wasn’t sure if anyone would be up to reply.
I’m not sure I just feel the need to get out I think, maybe clear my head somehow.
What a mess 😞😣

@Tee20x thank you. She’s her godmother as well so she knows her very well and knows her routine. I just feel bad asking I guess

I’m worried nobody will trust me

What did you mean by this?

If I knew you, I'd gladly have her for the day or longer if you were happy eith that, or you'd both be welcome to come & stay. Please ask your friend and look after yourself x

Don't feel bad at all. Everyone needs a break once in a while. I'm sure baby & best friend will have a nice time together :)

@AlmostSummer21 sorry I should’ve been clearer. I meant I don’t think they’d trust me to go out as they’d be too worried about me attempting to hurt myself, if that’s makes sense.
You’re so kind. I know i would do they same for a friend too but I for some reason don’t think I deserve the support and love for some reason.

When you say you need a 'breather' what would that entail?

@Imnewhere1991 I’m not sure. I guess just an escape for a bit. I feel really muddled

[quote PumpkinSpicedLatte]@Imnewhere1991 I’m not sure. I guess just an escape for a bit. I feel really muddled[/quote]
Do you feel low and that you want to escape life. Entirely?

@PumpkinSpicedLatte I hope youre ok. Sorry if my last question was too direct. Here for you when you're ready to speak x

[quote PumpkinSpicedLatte]@AlmostSummer21 sorry I should’ve been clearer. I meant I don’t think they’d trust me to go out as they’d be too worried about me attempting to hurt myself, if that’s makes sense.
You’re so kind. I know i would do they same for a friend too but I for some reason don’t think I deserve the support and love for some reason.[/quote]
I was worried that's what you meant 😥💐

I don't know what's got you to this place, because these things usually go much deeper than one past relationship (DH)
but I'm sorry it's how you have been made to feel.

PND/Depression is nasty, it makes you feel & believe things that seem true/real, but aren't.

Even if you don't feel 'worth it' right now, you love your DD & you are her world. You can find your way back to better mental health for her.

Lots of women have been where you are & now can't believe they were once feeling that low.

ASK for help. People want to help, they just don't know you need it, or know how to help you/what to say

ASK your friend, I bet she'd jump at the chance to have her all to herself for a day or so, or to spend the day with you both.

You ARE so worth it 💐

Did you get some help today OP?

I didn’t dare ask for it in the end but I regret it. I’m getting so much worse

Sorry to hear you are struggling.so much. Can you speak to your health team, tell them you are feeling worse, as in ring them now and make sure you talk to someone. Can you speak to your DD's childminder, tell her how you are feeling? Tell your best friend you are struggling so much, she can perhaps come and stay with you for a night or two? Speak to your Ex, can he take baby for a few nights so you can catch up on sleep? Is that a possibility?

Hello @PumpkinSpicedLatte we're so sorry that you're still having such a difficult time. Please do take a look at our webguide for PND here www.mumsnet.com/articles/postnatal-depression

We also wanted to share Mind’s information with you www.mind.org.uk/ – it has practical tips on what you can do when you feel like this and where to get urgent help. Maybe take a look and see if there’s anything which might be helpful right now.

Please do think about exploring some of the options in the links above. Samaritans are there for you too, 24/7, by emailing [email protected] or calling 116 123. You can also see the resources in our Mental Health webguide www.mumsnet.com/i/mental-health-webguide

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ.