How do you decide whether to have a second?!

[Tataru]

DD is 2.5 and the absolute light of my life. She is immensely cheerful, easygoing, happy, great sleeper, and we have so much fun together. I love being a parent to her and she has made life so much better.

We are now at the point where we are deciding whether to have another. DH is happy to do whatever I want (spectacularly unhelpful ) and I'm just so torn. I feel like I'm not ready to move on from this stage of life, but I'm also terrified that having another will ruin the dynamic we have and the relationship I have with my DD. I'm also worried about having a child who has additional needs as I am a little bit older and higher risk for that, and that making DD's life worse.

I was an only child, and a happy one, and my DH has siblings who he is relatively close to. So we have both sides of it and both had happy childhoods.

Time isn't on our side so I do need to make a decision soon, but it just seems like an impossible thing to decide. When I think about another baby I feel excited, but then I think about DD and also how much time to ourselves we have and I waver again. I'm also conscious that DD was such an easy baby that maybe I'm not prepared/cut out for having a baby and a toddler at the same time Although she would be in nursery three days by the time any new addition appeared.

DH is very hands on and does a lot but he does work full time whereas I am self-employed and will be the one taking mat leave and then part-time after that.

Has anyone else wrestled with this?

I already had another baby by the time my eldest was 2.5

DH and I were both from large families. The idea of only ever having one child never crossed our minds TBH.

If you're going to have another, do it soon. The difference between a two year old and a newborn is manageable. But life with your eldest will get exponentially easier from 3 onwards. So it will feel like a culture shock all over again having a newborn again. I wouldn't recommend anything over a three year age gap.

Right, boiler disaster averted for the time being.

We chatted about it again last night and think we will probably go for it! Which is slightly terrifying but also exciting I suppose. Although I had such a rotten first trimester I'm a bit worried about that and having DD, but first we have to be fortunate enough to conceive again so I'll worry about that first.

Thanks for all your replies - it helped focus my thoughts. I hope that DD will enjoy having a sibling if we do end up having another. She's a sociable little girl and very happy go lucky so I'm feeling.more confident that whatever happens, she will continue to be so.