I have an 8 (almost 9) yo DS. His behaviour has always been a little challenging, but I can't tell whether that is because his older sister is pretty easy and I've just been spoiled with her. I've been off work and with them both for the past week and I've found his behaviour very difficult.
Everything has always got to be his way, or no way. He used to throw massive tantrums, which he has grown out of, but instead he is now just sullen and sulky if he doesn't get his own way. I have not raised him to be like this. He is not a spoiled child. I can't afford to give him everything he wants and so he's used to going without (I don't mean that in a "I can't afford to feed him" type way, but a "he doesn't get every single thing he wants"). I try and make it fair between him and DD. If she picks a song for the radio, so does he. If he does a chore, then so does she etc. DD has just caught him not washing his hands with soap after using the toilet. He knows this is expected behaviour, but she called him out on it and he replied with a "shut up", and when I called him out he just sulked.
He starts little arguments with DD all the time. I know she starts them sometimes but he is mostly the instigator. Today has been "she's putting her cup on my side", "I didn't mean to poke her with a coat hanger, it was an accident", "why are you looking at me" etc. I know these are normal sibling arguments, but it's constant. It's like they can't even look at each other without it causing a problem. We are moving into a bigger place soon but at the moment they still share a bedroom so it's difficult to separate them.
He never learns. Many many times I've asked him to put his washing in the basket or put his cup in the sink etc but it's always left dumped on the floor or right by the sink or whatever. I will make him stop what he's doing to come and move his dirty underwear or whatever. I thought this would make him learn, surely it's got to get tedious to stop playing a game to move your clothes 1 foot from the floor into the basket, but no. He just doesn't learn.
Writing it down, I know it sounds like normal kid behaviour, but I'm sick of sounding like a broken record. I think it's the sullenness that gets me the most though. I'm so fed up of looking at his moody face and spoiling our days because he's not gotten exactly what he wants.
What am I doing wrong? How can I learn to cope with it? I get so frustrated with him, I'm finding him increasingly harder to tolerate. I'm dreading the teenage years, I don't think my sanity can take it.