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Original poster

Desperately need DD 19w to sleep in her cot. Help stop the cosleeping 😭

16 replies

Helloitsmi · 27/08/2021 08:23

I tried last night she just won't be in her cot by herself. She cries and becomes wide awake and we ended up wasting a good 2.5 hours of precious sleep just to end up in my bed again😩 exhausted.

I am EBF. She is going through her 4m regression as well. I am so so tired.

How did you do it? How do i make her sleep in her cot? Even for a couple of hours?

OP posts:
Wilmaa · 27/08/2021 08:25

Does she have naps in there?

Bonheurdupasse · 27/08/2021 08:28

Earplugs OP

yahyahs22 · 27/08/2021 08:36

Giving in is prolonging it. Don't leave her to cry for long but let her learn to settle herself. Go and reassure her every 5, 10, 15 etc minutes. She'll get it eventually. My biggest regret with mine is not doing that method as doing it when their older is way harder.

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Flakeymcwakey · 27/08/2021 08:41

Are you able to sleep while she is in bed with you? Because if so consider just going along with cosleelping. They all grow out of it in their own time and when she's able to do it, you'll have ot sorted in a week. They are only this tiny and dependent for the blink of an eye, and being able to settle to sleep alone is part of normal human development ie its not something you have a window in which you need to teach her. Go for the easy life, OP, and when it no longer is the easiest option, try again for the separate sleeping.

SpicyJalfrezi · 27/08/2021 08:42

The above I believe is Ferber and is not recommended for under 6 months, @yahyahs22

Sorry to sound like a blustering schoolteacher, but no one really should be ‘going in’ to a 4 month old, naps and sleeps should be supervised.

I think this is a really common problem, OP, and it is hellish. They do get it eventually. What is the cot like? We had a Next To Me that worked well.

HumunaHey · 27/08/2021 08:51

Can you pull the cot next to your bed with the bars on your side down?

That's how I got DS in his cot. I'd let him fall asleep on me then gently transfer him to the cot with lots of patting and rubbing before sliding away.

Temple29 · 27/08/2021 09:10

Have you considered giving her a comforter/lovey to cuddle with? I started giving them to mine around that age and it really helped, gave them something to cuddle other than me. I always removed it once they drifted off because it’s a SIDS risk and gave it back if they woke again.

Poppy709 · 27/08/2021 09:58

Sending you all my sympathy op, I had the same thing with my DS at the same age. To give you hope, he’s nearly 1 now and sleeps through the night in his own cot.
I gave in to co sleeping at that age, but sidecarred his cot to the bed to try and get him used to the space, and it meant I could roll away when he was asleep (sometimes!) I also used habit stacking (look up Lynsey hookway on Instagram) to slowly get him used to falling asleep in the cot rather than on the boob (this is a long, long process). Eventually at 8 months when no one was getting any proper sleep co sleeping once he started crawling we made the transition to the cot and dad resettled for wake ups and I did dream feeds, this worked really well but I think that was because he was already used to going to sleep in the cot with back rubs etc so he could accept it for wake ups. So for now I would just embrace whatever gets you the most sleep, but start trying to build in other sleep associations if you want to make the change later on xx

yellowgecko · 27/08/2021 10:47

Sleep in shifts with your DP - as soon as she's fed, hand her over to him to hold her and you sleep, preferably in a separate room until the next feed.

Sleep during the day as much as you can to make up for the hours you lose at night

My DD didn't properly sleep in more than 4 hour chunks until 7 months, also EBF. Some are longer...but it will pass Thanks

Original poster
Helloitsmi · 27/08/2021 13:51

So to reply to some questions..

Next to my bed i have the next to me chicco cot in which she would sleep and self soothe at night without fuss before this sleep regression.
We now also have the big crib in the room as i thought maybe she wants more room ...

I manage some sleep but i would like to sleep with my husband again 😁 and it is not quality sleep with her as she wants to be next to me like against my body so i barely move.

Asking DP to help is a lost cause. She just cries for the boob :/

OP posts:
Original poster
Helloitsmi · 27/08/2021 13:52

She naps on the bed or in her pram

OP posts:
Original poster
Helloitsmi · 27/08/2021 13:54

Also atm DP is studying and interviewing for jobs and he really needs to rest as his work is quite technical so not possible the shifts just now.

Guess i should try to make her nap in the cot to start with

OP posts:
Original poster
Helloitsmi · 27/08/2021 13:56

@Poppy709 thanks for the Instagram recommendation very helpful!

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 27/08/2021 13:57

OK so you have to take the side off the big cot and lash it to your bedframe and shove it's mattress flush with yours and fill in gaps with rolled up towels.

The bigger cot means you can lie half in half out of it and feed her in that cot.

Then when she's asleep you can roll away ninja style into your own bed without moving her a single inch.

Does it stop the wakeup? Nope. But it means in between wakeups you have your own side of the bed to yourself.

4 months is very young to be expecting a BF baby to sleep in their own room tbh, you're setting yourself up for a big challenge when you're too sleep deprived to tackle it.

Try this first. You may sleep better. And then at 6 months you can try again in the separate room. 2 months is a long time in the life of a baby.

T0rt0ise · 28/08/2021 11:37

Four/five months we used a comforter with my son to help ease the transition and made a big difference after a week or so (like yours had previously slept well, then was awful). He had a JellyCat elephant that I'd cuddle with him whilst I fed him then transfer both to the cot. Wasn't perfect and still had night wake ups etc but definitely made it easier until he was through the regression (still has comforters now at 18 months and they definitely help when sleeping in new places/generally unsettled). Advise is nothing in the cot before 6 months so obviously use your discretion.

Original poster
Helloitsmi · 29/08/2021 08:00

We had a comforter that she liked but doesn't use anymore...
I will slowly try to reintroduce. I have started trying the habit packing thing. So stroking her and patting her when feeding for bed.

She is teething on top of everything now. Great 🥲

Thank you for the responses though. Feels good to know what we are going through is pretty standard... and that it does get better.

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