Sweets

[Ilikecheeseontoast]

Hi all.... just wondering about how other mums handle sweets/chocolate/sweet treats... do you let them have them whenever they ask? Weekends? Special occasions? I don’t want to make it into a big deal and have a ‘forbidden fruit’ scenario on my hands but I’m conscious my children have been having far too much sugar over the summer holidays (days out, them accompanying me to the shops, play dates etc) and I want to curb it. Any advice? My children are only little (under 5) and if it was upto me they would have very little sugar in their diet but my husband and my own parents are pushovers. My children are good and don’t harass me when I say no but I dont want to be mean mummy always saying no! They respond really well to rules for other things.

I don't really have 'rules', I just keep a rough tally in my head of their diet that last few days and then of it's been reasonably okay then I say yes. If theyvve already had a fair bit then I say no. But I also explain why, and dd(6) is very good at self regulating and will even say no when offered by others if she's already had a treat that day

We never have sweets in the house, they are things you have on birthdays, at Christmas and at the cinema.

We have had no issues or upset about this (some are adults now).

Obviously by secondary school they had money so could buy what they wanted - but no interest.

I don't let them have it whenever they want, but also not just for special occasions, just somewhere in between which I understand isn't very helpful!

My kids are 18 months, and 4. We still have chocolate left from Christmas and Easter. They very very rarely have chocolate and sweets at home. On the other hand we have cake or ice cream more regularly because we would have those when out and about, e.g. a day at the beach. So it sort of naturally regulates because during the summer we have those things more often and during the winter, hardly at all.

Maybe more important than frequency is quantity? If your husband wants to treat them to chocolate, offer them a couple of chocolate buttons rather than a whole chocolate bar. Share a piece of cake. Have a mini milk or fruit lolly rather than a magnum, that sort of thing.

@lannistunut

We never have sweets in the house, they are things you have on birthdays, at Christmas and at the cinema.

We have had no issues or upset about this (some are adults now).

Obviously by secondary school they had money so could buy what they wanted - but no interest.

This is interesting because it can go the other way. My parents never had sweets or biscuits in the house and they were treats for special occasions only. When I was a young adult and had access to my own money, I would buy loads of chocolate because I could and because chocolate had become such a coveted "treat".

It is hard to find the balance.

We have sweets in the house. LO sometimes asks for them. We make a decision based on the time of day and what she's already eaten that day.

Sometimes we say yes, sometimes we say no. There's no magic formula here - just sensible balances.

@HungryHippo11
They are not disallowed, we just don't have them. Like Christmas cake or candyfloss - they are just lovely things but mostly undiscussed.

We do eat plenty of cake of course. Also we have chocolate.

Ours is changeable, so on hol at the moment they’ve had an ice cream a day. At home usually a biscuit or packet of the kids crisps a day. Tend to avoid sweeties. They are 2.5 and 4.5

I wasn’t allowed sweets much as a child in fact nothing sweet at all as my mum was always on a diet, consequently I love sweet things and it’s a daily battle. On the other hand I have a friend that’s mum always had sweets in a dish on the side ( I used to love going to her house ) but she’s not bothered and hardly ever eats sweets. There must be a balance somewhere though.

We don’t buy sweets or similar at home really, so I think it should naturally be curbed in that he can have ice cream out and about, cake or sweets at parties or occasions. We only have cake at home if visitors or events like birthdays

Don’t have them in the house. They are randomly given, maybe as a day our or at a party, occasionally, like two:three times a year I will by DC one of those little bags, 25p ones. He doesn’t ask for them as they don’t often pop into his head.

I'm really worried reading these posts as DS will hound me for sweets every day! We have got into the habit of buying a big bag every shopping day and then he has a bag of crisps every day too. I try to not buy anything else as a rule. He is really naughty though and will steal choc biscuits when no one is looking!

My very slim mum was quite controlling with sweets and treats and we would get them only very rarely and she would often comment on how much other people ate. Unfortunately this meant when I was a teen I would secretly buy sweets then feel terribly guilty about it. I have a really messed up relationship with food now, and weight issues (yoyo dieter).
I talk to my children about a healthy balanced diet, and when they ask for treats we ask if they've already had cake/icecream/sweets this week and then we decide together if it's a good idea to eat them. It's always a small lolly, mini-pack of haribo, snack size chocolate bar or small piece of cake though, and they would share a packet of crisps or mini cheddars not have one each.

Happy for DS to have cake or chocolate as a treat - if we're out he often wants to share a piece of cake with me. We usually bake every other week so he's allowed to eat whatever we've made too. So he probably has a treat maybe 2-3 times a week.

We don't buy sweets so he doesn't have access to them and he's never asked for them in a shop. We don't often have chocolate in the house but we do ration it when we've got it. He got an obscene amount for Easter so we let him have one egg over several weeks as a treat. Me & DH ate the rest 🤣

@Findahouse21

I don't really have 'rules', I just keep a rough tally in my head of their diet that last few days and then of it's been reasonably okay then I say yes. If theyvve already had a fair bit then I say no. But I also explain why, and dd(6) is very good at self regulating and will even say no when offered by others if she's already had a treat that day

This is what I do too. We have sweets in the house as DCs get them from birthday parties/at Xmas/occasionally buy them with pocket money etc, but they don't eat them all immediately so there are always some left in their individual pots. It works fine. They don't beg or go on about it once reminded about eg the ice cream they had earlier whilst out, and understand too much sugar is unhealthy (but is fine in moderation). My DCs are 7 and 5 now, but this is how we've done it since around 2yo. Sweets were almost never given before 2.

My DD (6) has only really had sweets in the last year and she’s currently utterly obsessed with them! We have a little tub of them at home, things like dolly mixtures etc, and she gets a few in a bowl every now and then, usually at the weekend or if she’s watching a film. Other sweet treats we try just to keep an eye on and strike a daily balance.

I do think trying to teach some self regulation, the need for a balanced diet and keeping teeth clean is important. Also it’s not just sweets which contain sugar. My DD likes squash for example but she only gets that with her tea, she knows it’s water during the day and she gets a glass of squash with her tea.

Also OP, reading about your parents- I had to be very firm with mine as it was getting ridiculous. They kept buying her fruit shoots and lots of lots of sweets. I had to be very clear with them that it was too much. I have absolutely no issue with treats but she doesn’t need multiple fruit shoots in one visit!!

When my dc were younger we had sweets in the house. I have would gave a handful of kiddie crisps with their lunchtime sandwich and maybe a biscuit after their dinner. When they went to grandparents house once a week they would get chocolate and crisps there. I don't think it's the best idea to totally ban sweets from the home. Children need to learn self control and know that they can't just eat sweets all day because they are there. My dc knew that they were allowed a treat most days and they were happy with this. My friend strictly limited her children's sugar intake and if I'm being honest was quite mean with food generally. Her children are now early teens and they have the worst sweet tooths ever. They cannot get enough of junk food and are actually quite greedy. You need to have a healthy balance as with everything in life.

Mine basically get whenever they ask. Probably one a day. I've seen the way children are when they aren't allowed sweets at home. It's all they can think about.

We didn't allow DD any sweets / chocolate until she reached two and now (3 tomorrow) she doesn't seem at all interested. She gets very excited about cake but won't have more than a bite. She does eat the yoyo type things though.

If / when she gets into sugar, I will restrict it if I can - we used to have sweets on a Friday and I can't see anything wrong with that.

I dont have that kind of thing in the house, so whenever I have stuff like that it is a treat and ill share it with my son. I think its something like once or twice a week.

Mine eat cakes and biscuits every day. Not loads though and they also have fruit and healthy meals. I wouldn't give them on special occasions only, I think that's extreme and unfair if you're also eating stuff that they're not allowed. You can get healthier versions of stuff if you're worried about sugar and fat content.

I keep some in the house, if they ask they can have them. They rarely do, in fact I think they forget about them.

Thanks for all the replies. I think I’m going to try to keep a relaxed approach and hope that my children develop a healthy relationship with sugar. Am going to have a word with my parents and husband too so we’re all in the same page. Thanks all!