Asking for your family rules please

[mumjustmum]

Hi everyone,

I have a 2.8yr old and twin 1.8yr olds and it's obviously very busy. Anyway, whilst I am in survival mode for most days, I also want to do the right thing by my children and ensure they grow into lovely primary aged children I can take to nice restaurants etc.

So, I've been cutting back on screen time massively. I take colouring pens etc to restaurants or those pop it fidget things to avoid putting little baby bum on my phone. This has been working.

One friend of mine has a rule of no tv at all unless it's for something special once a week.
Another friend ALWAYS eats with her children three times a day - love it, but I'm not always hungry!?

Can you tell me your family rules please?

My DS is 6. We have a rule of no screens after dinner (until he's gone to bed, then we chill with TV)

He's recently been asking to eat in his room so we have a rule of no food or drink upstairs

He does have his iPad at dinner sometimes as we don't always eat together (adults not always hungry at the same time as DS) but if he makes a huge mess because his eyes are in the screen he doesn't get it next time

Other than that I wouldn't say we have rules. I do try and make a point of letting him know in advance what is happening and what is expected.

Eg. We're going for a meal, we're going to take our time and he is expected to sit with us, join in conversation and be patient. This doesn't happen very often but he's been very good when it goes

He's a good kid. I learned early on to let him know what is expected and it's kind of just gone from there

This is really helpful thank you.
I like the no food upstairs and managing expectations before you arrive somewhere. Thank you for responding

I have a 4 year old and 3 year old. My rules are no hitting/kicking etc, we go to the toilet before we leave the house, and all make the rules about our own bodies e.g. if you don't want to hug someone, don't and if they say they don't want a hug, you respect that.

Pens stay in the kitchen! Same with play dough. No food upstairs but they’ve never asked. We’re tight on screen time (say on a weekend only after lunch so they know there’s no point asking in the morning) but try to be a bit relaxed about it so there is more during the hols and less during the school week. If we’re out to eat I pack sticker books/dobble type little games/colouring. We do bedtime stories/books every night. Can’t think of much else!

No eating on the couch. Or anywhere other than the table or breakfast bar.
Wash hands before meals.
Clear your own plate.
No leaving the table till you've said "may I be excused?" (Old fashioned!)
No negative comments allowed about food. If you don't want it, quietly put it to the side of your plate. Complaints will not be tolerated.
Wait until the cook is seated before you start eating.

Your kids are very young so obviously some of these will take time to establish. Start with zero tolerance for eating on the couch.

Oh and zero tolerance for electronic devices at the table.

Screen time: one hour a day at a specific time.

At those ages it was all about establishing routines.
so regular routines around getting dressed and washed in the morning.
Sitting at the table for meals (I didn't always eat with them but always sat with them).
TV was limited
Tidy up lounge before lunch and before bed.
Bath/wash and stories before bed.

Not sure you can have too much in the way of actual rules at that age as they are a bit too young to follow them.

At that age is things like

We get dressed before coming downstairs.
We sit at the table to eat (never in front of a screen)
We help to tidy toys
We share
We listen to mummy and Daddy
We don’t hurt each other
Outside we hold hands or sit in buggy

I am LOVING all of these thank you.

No bare bums on sofas!

2,5 year old.

• no shoes in the house
• have to sit down while eating (not necessarily at the table)
• saying please when asking for things.

That’s about it.

TV after they’ve had tea only
No screens when they’re eating
Eat at the table or breakfast bar only
Take shoes off when they come into the house and put them away in their drawer (they each have a drawer in an IKEA unit)

Working on homework rules but trying to get the two older ones (6 and 4) to do a small bit of reading, numbers, etc each day. This is a massive challenge with the older one.

Not a rule exactly but they all have a Bath/shower and a story every night