Three year olds tantrums. Help!

[CrumpetStrumpet]

Really need some advice regarding my three year olds behaviour as he's pushing me beyond my limit!

He has started having the most horrendous tantrums approximately 500 times a day. The smallest thing can set him off and it takes him ages to calm down. Screaming, crying, shouting, hitting, trashing things. It's just awful. Even when not tantrumming he has started screaming and shouting at the smallest provocation. The wingeing is off the scale!

I'm a lone parent and I'm really struggling to cope. I'm so exhausted all the time and it's starting to really wear me down. I start off every day determined to do better but by 10am I'm inevitably shouting in sheer exasperation😔 He has also suddenly regressed in his toilet training and has dirtied his trousers the last four days running. The day before last he smeared poo all over the carpet and his toys!

He has a twin sister who is so sunny natured. I see her trying to overcompensate for how short tempered his behaviour makes me and I know it's not healthy.

My parents advice isn't helpful as it's usually along the lines of he needs a smack! Please help.

Is he getting enough sleep and eating ok? I only ask because my 3yo is a wingey grotbag if she's at all tired or hungry. How about sibling rivalry or learning new skills?

In your position I'd be [screaming into a pillow] being firm with boundaries but offering lots of cuddles and sympathy while he comes to terms with them.

My 7yo had always had mammoth tantrums and even now struggles when things don't go her way. I've made a game of 'oooh DD needs a cuddle!' when she's grumpy or snappy.

He eats fine but sleep not great at the moment. Niether of them are sleeping brilliantly!

I don't think I can cope if it's goes on until he's 7 I do try and offer cuddles but but normally just screams and hits me. I feel like I'm doing something wrong as a mother.

How to talk so little kids listen is a really good book. It has defused many a tantrum in our house!

@Tataru. Is that this collection?

Does he spend any time in nursery or preschool - if not, enrolling him for a few days a week would give you a break.

Does he have enough 'power' over what happens to him - for example, can he 'choose' what to wear (from the choices you present him with), choose to brush his teeth now or in five minutes, and make other choices for himself?

Is he getting enough positive attention, does he only get your attention when he throws a trantrum?

Is he doing enough physical activity to work off energy.

These things helped us at a similar age.

FNcotton the blue or green one specifically but they are all good books.