Mother (GM) trying to be a 3rd parent

[Mommabear20]

I want to start by stating, I love my mother very much and appreciate everything she does for me.

Basically, I had my first DC last year and have recently had my second. I have a very supportive and helpful DH who is great with the kids. My mum however is trying to be VERY involved with my kids and I'm at a lose of how to handle it. Obviously I want her to be involved and have a close relationship with them, but she will message me multiple times a day asking about them, if I don't reply quick enough, she'll call me because 'I thought something was wrong!' 🤷‍♀️ she askes multiple times a week to take them to visit her friends, or have them for sleep overs. I don't mind them going to her without me, in terms of, I trust her and know they're safe, but they're only 14 months and 1 month! I've tried to ask her to back off a little and give us some time as a family, but I got bombarded by texts from family saying I'm being selfish to keep them from her! I'm not keeping them from her! I just can't deal with the amount she wants.
Has anyone had a similar experience with parents/in laws? Please help!!

Hello
It may be really useful firstly to tell your mother that you cannot answer calls as you don't have your phone on during the day as your hands are full. Try to pre-empt her by picking a day during the week when she can visit and specifically frame it as ' I'm realy really needing some help on Monday as I have to go to an appointment etc. This gives her an hour or so to look after them in your home - or you could go out together for coffee/ park etc. Re-training on your choices will take time. If this does not work then a really simple conversation will have to be had.
Ignore any family texts.
Maybe you are too available on your phone an having it off will help?
You can always mute all annoying contacts except your husbands number. After a while people will realise you are rarely online or available and demands will decrease.

@Colin56 thanks for the advice! I really hate upsetting people and she's pretty good at quilt tripping me which makes it difficult! 😣 I probably am too available to her and it's definitely not a lie that I've got my hands full now 😂

Just out your phone in another room on mute. It's not your job to be available anyone at all times. That's your time and you control how it's spent.