Hysterical at Bathtime: Help!

[RightSaidPleb]

Hi there

Hoping for some strategies to help manage bathtimes better! My DS is 20 months and loves playing in the water. We haven't been swimming much through Covid but gone a few times where he's clung on tightly but been generally fine.

Bathtime started to be a problem about 2 months ago and has slowly got worse. At the moment he's happy enough to get in it and has some toys he loves to play with and make big splashes.

BUT he hates having his hair washed. It's the water in eyes and ears we think. This has got worse so that he started to then get upset when we washed him as he knew next would be hairwash. Now it's got to the point that as soon as he sees the body wash bottle he wants to get out. And now he won't let us wash his face post food either.

We have tried:
-encouraging him to lie back so no water gets in his eyes. He freaks out
-Trickling water over his head slowly and gently in stages so he doesn't quite realise....he cottoned onto that and now any water hitting his head gets him upset
-Singing songs while doing it and getting him to wash himself. He will do a bad ish job but have a go but not touch his hair or face
-One of those shampoo caps with the rim around the head. Hated it and won't let us put it on
-Using a wet flannel and just placing it on his head so no rush of water. He screams and takes it off.
-Getting in the bath with him and showing him us doing it - he wasn't convinced!

I'm really struggling for how to help him overcome this. As it's hot outside (sometimes) he comes back from nursery having made mud pies etc so really does need a bath.

DH thinks we should just persevere and he'll get used to it but he gets so upset and I don't want him to think we aren't listening to him when he says no. I don't think 'pushing through' is going to make it better!

I'd love some ideas or strategies to help him cope! Every other part of his bedtime routine is so calm and he does to sleep really well himself but this is starting to affect it! Thanks so much

My girl did this at the exact same age! It must be developmental.

What we did and I can see you’ve done some of it already so my suggestions might not be the best (sorry) was we got in with her, had her sit on our lap so she wasn’t sitting in the water herself just her feet, if we tried she went nuts, we got some of those bath bucket toys and showed her how to pour water (she’d pour it on us) and we’d pour some on her to clean her, got some bath books to read her (this helped lots) and kept baths super short (like under 5 mins). She only has a bath 2 times a week anyway due to eczema and we wash her hair once a week. She loves them again now and goes to the bath and says ‘bath day?’ Lol

My DS is like this, absolutely hates a wet face and hair. When I wash his hair I tell him it’s going to happen, and make his hair wet just using the water from my wet hands. Minimum amount of shampoo, and use wet hands multiple times to brush the soap out. I have a towel on standby which he can grab to dry his face if he feels the need.

If I have to douse him in water for whatever reason, then I just do it, but I try my hardest to minimise needing to do so!

Would he wear swimming goggles to keep the water out his eyes? Or hold a folded over flannel over them? But I did tend to just say what I was doing then get it done quickly then cuddles afterwards. Neither of mine seem scarred by it, they both take showers now happily (age 6 & 8)

Use a wet flannel to wet the hair?

How often are you washing it?

My DS hates getting his done, so we only do it once a week. He has a carry on, but needs must and he’s fine once it’s over.

DD's used to hold a flannel over their faces for hair washing we just got on with it but that gave them a little control.