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Sleep routine falling apart with 3 and 4 yr old- Advice needed

5 replies

user1480356901 · 24/08/2021 21:05

Hi, I am at my wits end with my children- I hate to say it! My children's behaviour before bedtime has deteriorated severely which was due to me working away half of the week for the past 3 months. The work is now complete and since late July I have said to my husband that we need to get their sleeping routine back on track.

Before I was working away, the routine was more or less:
Finish supper by 6pm-6.15pm.
Wash: 6.30pm-6.50pm
Reading: until 7.20pm ish
Bed: 7.30pm

Unfortunately my husband, and I'm really not blaming him as he's done a fantastic job while I've been away, let the timings slip. So bedtime became later and later- until 8.30pm. For the last two weeks I have tried to reintroduce the sleep routine, but the two of them are like a tag team together and ignore what I say. (My brother and I were also very close in age and I really feel for my Mother, sadly she passed away before they were born).

It feels like I am walking through treacle trying to get them back to a routine. Tonight, I stopped reading at 8pm- I had hoped for 7.30pm, but they do not listen and get excited when they can see I get frustrated. I know what you're going to say- don't get frustrated as this won't help. I know this, but my goodness after a while it wears you down. I do love them but I am feeling really fed up with the situation. My son who's 3 is so tried in the morning and I'm conscious from having read various website about the optimal amount of sleep a child should have based on their age. I have explained to my husband that we have to be on the same page with this routine as otherwise it will not work, which he agrees with, but I feel like I'm always having to tell him to step in when they won't listen, or to keep to the timings. Grr.
I'd like any advice on how to deal with young children who are close in age when they won't listen and getting their sleep back on track.

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muffindays · 24/08/2021 21:07

It is summer OP and as days are later light-wise, kids can stay awake a bit longer.

Few ideas:

  1. wake them half an hour earlier than normal, it may help them go down earlier.
  2. Don't stress so much, If bedtime is half eight so be it. It's not the end of the world. When the clocks change it will be 7.30pm again (in a month or two).
overthe · 25/08/2021 14:41

Make sure you wake them at the same time as before and if you are trying to move the bedtime earlier, do it in 10/15 minute increments every few days so their body clocks can adjust. Otherwise you risk trying to get them to sleep when they aren't tried and having a battle.

user1480356901 · 25/08/2021 20:57

*so glad

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user1480356901 · 25/08/2021 21:00

Eek first time I've ever posted on here and thought I'd posted my message which read: Thank you muffindays and overthe for your advice which I will try. So glad I posted my message as I was unsure if anyone would reply. Thanks again- I feel hopeful now.x

OP posts:
muffindays · 25/08/2021 21:07

hi Op, hope you're doing ok today, glad it was kind of helpful! don't stress too much regarding the "optimal sleep" amount, this can differ dramatically from child to child, my son has always needed less than most others his age. Unless their behaviour changes and they are overtired and grumpy a later bedtime may well be best for all of you rather than a big old stress out and trying to make them go down when they aren't ready. It will be ok again soon as nights get darker etc.

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