Dieting - how to do it right?

[TheChip]

My 13 year old is quite over weight. With picky eating, and favouring of unhealthy food, along with a constant urge to snack... It has came to a head.

I have tried skirting around the issue, offering alternative foods, limiting what I buy etc. Encouraging more exercise.

It works to an extent. The alternatives are accepted at times, only he will snack more so it kind of defeats the whole thing.

It seems that when he is hungry, he feels starving, and so his eyes are bigger than his belly so to speak. I have tried working with this by telling him to wait 10 minutes to see how he feels then, and sometimes it works. The food has time to settle and he's satisfied. Other times it doesn't work so well.

I have told him that we need to start a diet, only now his dad is unhappy because I shouldn't have said that to him. Which I understand, but at the same time I dont believe that it's any good to pretend there isn't an issue, either.

So is there any tips, tricks and advice to help us make this a little easier for him, please?
Any good exercise video suggestions that I could do with him?

Meal suggestions would be great too if you have any.

Also, is it cruel to refuse food after he has ate? The guilt I feel when he says he is hungry and I try to put him off or distract him. After he has already ate, that is.

Stop terming it a diet, it is developing healthy habits for the rest of his life.
Making sensible choices.

And yes that probably means you all, as a family, need to examine your relationship with food, what you eat, portion size etc.
Meal plan together, including snacks.
Walk etc together.

Oh, and is he drinking enough water?
Hunger and thirst can get confused.

Are you and your husband both at your ideal weights?

I would suggest not buying anything at all that is snacky, absolutely no fizzy drinks, crisps etc. Almonds at most. Popcorn maybe - the low sugar/salt ones.

Dinner plate divided in three equal portions of protein, carbs and fibre (we tend to overload the carbs). Limiting portion size is not cruel. It’s healthy in all aspects of life. We limit ourselves all the time - I don’t let myself eat a whole tub of Haagen Dazs and that’s not cruel, right?

Ignore the picky eating. He doesn’t want to eat the broccoli and chicken and jet eats the (now meagre) pasta? So what? He can be hungry. If he moans later that he’s still hungry, reheat the damn chicken and broccoli.

Breakfast - switch out cereal (empty carbs & sugar) for greek yoghurt & nuts (I love almonds, pumpkin seeds & cranberries) - it’ll keep him going for longer. No juice.

Have you got the resources to do sport/activity every day? Would you take up running and make him do it with you? At 13 you could easily get him up to 3k a day, which would help a lot.

Don’t frame it as diet/weight-related, frame it as learning to eat more healthily as a family because you want to learn healthy, strong habits and be awesome and fit.

But I think it’s okay to be a bit brutal. Being a softie about it is why he’s fat in the first place and it will harm him even more as a young man and adult - you can definitely fix it now.

I agree with the above, it's not a temporary restrictive diet, it's very crucial time for him to learn about and develop healthy eating habits for life.

As PP said, make sure your portions of veg are larger and carbs** are smaller, try buying healthy, filling snacks. I hate most "health food" like nuts and grains but love fruit for example so always have plenty in the fridge for snacks.

Make crisps, sweets and chocolate a rare treat, a small portion and only on a Friday for example. This was how I was raised and know now it's not just something to grab when I'm hungry and gorge on.

I'd frame it as "we as a family need to be healthier" rather than making it anything to do with weight or even to do with him. It's a good chance to educate him on how healthy eating can make you feel better and have less health issues.

As for exercise is it possible he could walk or ride a bike to places you usually give him lifts in the car to? If he's sporty maybe join a football or rugby club, some of his friends might do extra-curricular sports and if they're there he's more likely to enjoy it and stick with it.

I would say that we (as a family) do have a healthy, and balanced diet for the most part, to be fair. Its just me and ds who could do with a few tweaks.

I do have issues with eating and am currently underweight (have been all my life). I think it would be ideal to work with him to achieve healthy goals together.

I have taken some suggestions from here, and looked online for healthy snack alternatives as I believe it is snacking that is the issue. I'm also not going to buy juice once this bottle has gone, so that water and/or milk is favoured instead.

I dont drive so its always walking, cycling or scootering for him. He's not sporty, but he has said he is going to restart going to the skatepark again so that is good. He comes on long walks with me and the dogs quite often, and uses the exercise equipment in the local park when we stop by there for the dogs to play on the field.

I've added some natural yoghurt into my shopping for next week. He is always willing to try new things, which is a huge plus, and so I'm going to have him try different bits of fruit mixed with the yoghurt to see if he likes them that way.