3yo - behaviour or health?

[Cluelessmummy2]

Something is off with my DD and I wonder if it's normal, or due to the fact I'm having DC2 in a couple of weeks or perhaps there is a physical/medical reason?

She is usually an absolute delight but lately she has had a lot of days with challenging behaviour, hitting/screaming, or telling us to go away. Occasionally she has wanted nothing to do with me and told me she doesn't want me in the same room as her and just clings to daddy (definitely put that down to the upcoming arrival as we usually have the strongest bond). Other days she is extra clingy with me too and has even started crying when I drop her off at nursery. She has never done this since starting nursery at 5 months old. She's also always been an amazing sleeper but lately has had me up once most nights, and last night was randomly wide awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night then up super early. Again she has never done this since birth.

Whenever she has had challenging behaviour before it's been when fighting
off a virus of some sort that just makes her irritable. She has had so many viruses since June. I know that's to be expected after a year of Covid distancing and at first she was getting over them really quickly as usual so i didn't worry. But she had a stomach bug 3 weeks ago and a bad cough virus last week which she is still struggling with. She never wanted to walk when out and about at the weekend, just stayed in her pushchair. But otherwise getting brighter and has her usual energy and appetite. I have noticed though that she now gets really sweaty whenever she sleeps (had a quick nap in the car yesterday and woke up completely drenched). Is it just due to her being poorly still or should I be worried? She will also now randomly complain of stomach/leg/arm pain here and there. She never did before, but could equally just be for attention as she is worried about getting a sibling?

Urgh I have no idea and feel like I am failing her, I want her to be happy again. Thank you if you read this far!

Sounds exactly like my 3 year old. For him, he’s learning to push boundaries and enjoying being able to explain his pain and discomfort. He too has also become lazy with walking and has gone from happily walking 5k to wanting to be carried everywhere.

Thank you I have form for catastrophising so it helps to know some of it is normal. I just need to go with the flow and hope it passes!

My almost 6 year old said he was going to ask Santa for a new mammy this year - they’re little heartbreakers! Agree with the above post regarding boundary pushing at that age, I also have a 2 year old who has been consistently ill with one virus or another since may, sweats in her sleep, just started crying at nursery drop offs and is insisting on being carried everywhere! No real advice just to let you know you’re not alone 😀

If it helps OP I'm due DC2 early October and my 3yr old is almost identical to what you describe as well. I think a lot of it is worry about the new baby coming affecting her behaviour.

@Larabelle6 wow sounds so similar to your 2year old! It does make you wonder if maybe there is a specific virus that is just lingering and causing all of this.

Thanks @MeadowHay, is your 3year old's sleep also a bit all over the place? I feel like the behaviour I can handle but not doing so well with the tiredness at this late stage. I also didn't expect her behaviour to change until after the birth naively but I guess she is just too clever. Perhaps she is getting it out ofher system now and will be pleasantly surprised once baby is here! (She says full of hope!!)

Yep, she's been waking most nights for about the last two months. DH does all the wakings though so I can rest - I've had/am having quite a difficult pregnancy and my sleep is already really bad cos of PGP. Plus it's good she's used to her dad because realistically I'm probably going to be doing the baby's feeds at least initially as hoping to breastfeed again, so he can take over the toddler! She wakes anywhere between once and 4 times a night, she just shouts for her dad, then asks him for a drink of water, has a cuddle and usually goes back to sleep again pretty quickly, there's only been tears on a couple of occasions.

They tend to have changes in behaviour at 2 or 3 yo.
But regarding new siblings the changes tends to happen AFTER the baby has arrived. Their baby sibling could bring them a present when they come home, for example (make it a fantastic one like figurine of their favourite show)

@MeadowHay, sorry you are having a difficult pregnancy. You're right, I'm planning to BF too so she should get used to daddy dealing with the night wakings. The problem is daddy never hears anything so once I'm awake and he is not I just think I might as well go myself! Usually it's just once and she nods back off after a cuddle so I don't mind but last night I had to lie down on the floor next to her for over an hour... hoping that was a one off, I was so achey after! As the late pregnancy anxiety/insomnia sets in as well it now takes me ages to get back to sleep.

Today she also had a wee accident in the car, so we're having all the regressions at once!

Don't sleep next to her! Personal experience you'll never leave! sit outside the door (leave a pillow there.....) and reassure her that you're still there until she falls asleep. Worked muuuuuch better!

I would be getting the sweating and pains checked out for peace of mind.
The change in behaviour could be due to baby's imminent arrival but could also be due to her not feeling herself and being too young to verbalise it properly.