Hints and tips for stopping the bedtime breastfeed

[RodeoGorilla]

My daughter will be two years old next month. She was EBF from birth (never took a bottle or dummy). She was a pain to wean but now eats well. She now only has a bedtime feed and has done since she was about 14/15m old.

I’m really ready to stop now, for all sorts of reasons, so I was just wondering what hints and tips you might have to make it as easy as possible? I’m fully expecting tears, just want to minimise them if possible.

I’ve sort of dipped my toe in the water over the last couple of weeks by not offering / not refusing and she’s asked for milk every night as usual. I keep the feed short and boring. This evening when she asked for her milk I said “oh no, milk gone!” just to test the water and she got very upset very quickly so she had her usual feed.

She drinks cold cows milk with meals and water in between.

So that’s it really. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Also, my decision on stopping this feed ASAP is final, I’m happy to explain why if it’s relevant but equally don’t want anyone trying to convince me to wait for her to self-wean, thanks.

I feel your pain. I was very ready to stop also and was very lucky that my DD began the process after many attempts of me not offering not refusing or just trying to get her dad to do bedtime etc but she also always ended up crying. This isn't very helpful to you but the night she didn't ask, we were away on holiday so I think the change of scenery,bed,house etc distracted her! After that one night, she did sometimes ask for it again but I distracted her with a toy or a book etc and she never had another feed after that!

I recommend Kathryn Stagg and Lyndsey Hookway for advice on this and many other topics.

Thanks @Zzzzfthg we do have a holiday booked for the end of next month so not too far away, I guess it’s an option!! She’s very wedded to her routines at home!

Thanks @Flittingaboutagain I’ll take a look at those suggestions

This evening when she asked for her milk I said “oh no, milk gone!” just to test the water and she got very upset very quickly so she had her usual feed.

Don't do that again. Say no and mean it.

If she realises you give it when she cries she'll up the anti next time to make you do it.

Dd1 I stopped just before she turned 2 as conceiving no 2 wasn’t happening. I cut her down a minute a night per side over the course of 2 weeks. So she’s been having 15 minutes per side, and gradually we cut down. The last night (only one minute ‘allowed’) she had about 4 sucks each side and then I said it was all gone. Dp put her to bed the next 2 nights and she never asked again. And I wasn’t ever uncomfortable.

DD2 (older) we agreed together that no more bf once she was 3. On her third birthday she asked for her bedtime feed, I said no, she whined slightly and then had a cuddle and went to sleep. And never asked again as she ‘was a big girl now who didn’t need it any more’. And then about 2 months later we were making fudge and she licked the spoon and told me it tasted like mummy milk. No wonder it’s so hard for them to stop!!! Fudge on tap…..

@Orangedaisy fudge on tap indeed! Thanks for the suggestions, I don’t actually time the feeds so I suppose I could do and then start to reduce as you did with your daughter.

Thanks @ActonSquirrel I know it was a bit daft. It was a bit of a “let’s see how this goes” in the hope I’d catch a lucky break, then I realised I didn’t have the energy for it this evening. If we go for cold turkey we will choose a weekend when I will have more patience!

A friend had success with doing it whilst away as different routine so that might be a good time. Good luck!

Thanks for everyone’s advice.

We took the opportunity over the weekend, I simply told her the milk was “all gone” and she could have milk from a cup like a big girl. She moaned and whimpered a bit, asked a couple of times before bed, but overall was absolutely fine and we just sang songs to distract her, which she loved. She asked again the next night and we just confirmed it was all gone, and same again that she got upset but didn’t cry. Then this morning we had a cuddle and she pointed to my boobs and knowingly said “milk all gone!” and I said “yes it is, good girl!” and she toddled off to find Daddy.

It went so much better than I thought!

Boobs are a bit sore now, any tips?

@RodeoGorilla amazing! Sounds like she's adapted well to the change. I only had full boobs for one evening and just hand expressed a little but that did the trick.