Looking for positive stories :-)

[WorryMcGee]

Hi everyone. I’m an anxious person that tends to focus on the negative, especially when things are about to change…and things are about to change because I’m 5 weeks pregnant! I know I am lucky, my husband is over the moon, I should be too but my main emotion right now is fear. All I can think of is that my life is gone forever (illogical) and I am fixating on every single post/story/anecdote I come across about how terrible having children is. Logical me (and the me that wanted to get pregnant) knows that this cannot be the case 24/7 because no one would ever do it and no one would ever have more than one. I also know that people don’t tend to take to the internet when things are rosy, which means a lot of what you see is negative.

So I was wondering - can you tell me some stories about how wonderful it is 🧡 how your life is better, how it brought you and and your partner closer together, how you’re a different person but you actually like that person more, etc?

(Please don’t be mean or tell me I obviously don’t want this pregnancy enough. Obviously I know it’s the hardest thing I’ll ever do and it’s not all rainbows. I’m just searching for a little balance because I’m in a negative thought spiral, and also I thought it might be a nice thing for others to read )

I actually was similar to you before I started trying for a baby. I put it off again and again because I could only ever think about the negatives of having a baby. Anyway, I took the plunge and actually I think it was a positive that I thought so much about the negatives because I needed up being pleasantly surprised by all the lovely stuff that makes the hard (bad!?) stuff worth it! I've actually enjoyed motherhood more than some of my friends who were all enthusiastic about motherhood. My expectations were low and theirs were high. They were shocked by the bad and I wasn't!

I have fallen in love with these little beings but I haven't lost myself like I feared. I still feel like me, I still have friendships, I still have a job, I still enjoy date nights and a cheeky glass of wine. It helps that my dh and I value self care so will take it in turns to have the kids while the other does a hobby, except uses, meets friends etc... Yes life isn't as spontaneous any more and everything needs to be planned (even sex these days!) BUT it's been crazy interesting watching these little humans I made grow and discover the world. I really wouldn't change it. To me any negatives are outweighed by the positives. Yeah I have days when I'm itching to get them into bed and have some peace, but I have way more days where I put them to bed and then find myself scrolling through photos and videos of them even though I've just spent the whole day with them! 🤣

Good luck and congratulations!

Big congratulations on your pregnancy OP

I'll be honest: felt quite relaxed when I found out I was pregnant. This was because I had no idea what was to come! And I had big mental health problems for 18 months as I wasn't prepared at all for how much life would change. I think you sound more 'in tune' so if you feel anxious after the birth do talk to someone and keep talking to your partner. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, let the world stop for a while and focus on recovering after birth and getting to know your baby.

Now for the positives: My little girl is almost 4 now and hilarious, she makes me laugh every day and is my best friend. It may sound corny and trite but she is my favourite person to spend time with. Never known so much love. I've definitely grown as a person as in my childfree life I just pratted about and had no responsibility. I never saw myself as maternal at all and it feels so good now to plan activities, do crafts together and go on days out.

It did take me a little while but since I've had DD I've completed my masters, had some nights out by myself and started running again. You get yourself back

The truest thing I've ever been told is after children, life isn't better or worse, but it's different.
Good luck with everything x

Congratulations to you OP! I have an anxiety disorder also so very much sympathise however I assumed I'd be an amazing mother and would love it 😂 I do love my kids beyond belief but I am by no means the mother I imagined I'd be! They crack me up, I love talking to my 4yo as she's so funny. Now she teaches my 2yo all sorts of funny but naughty behaviour and they're a riot. Especially love bathtime as they splash each other and laugh hysterically, and my eldest 'collapses' in bed at the end of the day with such dramatic flair, and says 'oh my god I have had such a long day, I don't think I'm going to wake up for a million hours' if only lol!! Also, during pregnancy I heard on the radio that fear and excitement are closely linked in the brain, and when you thought of something with fear, you could kind of trick your brain by saying 'oh, this is exciting - I'm so excited for xxx (scary thing)' might be nonsense but worked for me!

So many amazing stories on here! Every single post has been so helpful ❤️ @anotherexhaustedpigeon (brilliant username) I LOVE the idea of reframing fear as nervous excitement, and actually all these lovely posts are helping me do that I think!

Yay! I’m so glad I posted despite worrying I’d get told off (I spot a theme ) time to celebrate…now where’s that pack of cream crackers that’s the only thing I can eat without wanting to puke 😂