Breastfeeding baby to sleep

[Wenttotheanimalfair]

I would be grateful for some experienced mum advice please. I’ve got a 6MO boy and we just fell into a pattern where I feed him before naps and bedtime to help soothe him off to sleep. Sometimes he goes into his bed drowsy but awake, other times asleep. He’s feeding 2-3 times a night I think mostly because he’s so distracted during the day so doesn’t get enough. I don’t mind feeding him like this but I’m feeling so pressured but all these sleep therapist adverts online that say you mustn’t feed baby to sleep, bad habit etc and now I’m stressed out about it, it’s upsetting. I should just not look at them but I do have some specific questions that I hope you can help with:

1. Is what I’m doing OK?
2. If I continue like this, I am concerned about nursery; he’ll start when he’s 11MO 2 days a week also with our mums one day a week each but obviously I won’t be there to feed him so will he nap ok without me?
3. Will it end naturally before bedtime, like he just won’t need it one day? How old?

Thanks in advance

It's fine, as long as it works for you.
I can understand your worries though, I was in the same position as you with my first. He's now 3.5. he started at nursery at 10 months. They got him off for naps perfectly fine while he still BF to sleep at home. They have their ways and means :) I think they cuddled him to sleep. His BF at home ended naturally in the day around 12/13 months, then at night around 14 months.
My now 15 month old still feeds to sleep at home, and fairly often through the day if I'm at home/not working. Nursery get her off to sleep perfectly fine, so do her grandparents. Her breastfeeding at night isn't showing signs of naturally finishing like her brother did. But it works for us, so it's fine with me.

I did the same as you with my oldest son. It's a perfectly normal and natural way to settle baby to sleep.

My son also went to nursery at around 11 months old - the nursery staff were great and were able to soothe him to sleep for his naps in a pram or bouncy chair no problems.

Yes, it will naturally end, but every child is different for when they naturally wean from the breast or stop needing it to fall asleep. My son is now nearly 4 and can settle himself to sleep no bother at all.

I am doing the same with my new baby who's now 10 weeks old and will continue to feed him to sleep for as long as needed.

Of course it's OK :) Breastmilk wouldn't make them sleepy if it wasn't meant to help them fall asleep. I think it's brilliant. If it causes a problem for you, then you can look to stopping, but it sounds like it doesn't.

Don't worry about nursery. Feeding an 11mo is so totally different to feeding a completely milk-dependent baby. You may be in a totally different nap routine at home by then. If not, it's likely they'll be able to get him to sleep another way. Perhaps with a bottle of cow's milk or by being pushed in the pram. 11mo babies understand who has milk and who doesn't, so they don't tend to look for it when it's not available. Nurseries also seem to have magic qualities which induce non sleeping babies to sleep, non eating children to eat etc. Maybe it's peer pressure.

You might have to consciously wean him off for bedtime or he might stop by himself. My children were about 3 before they stopped feeding at bedtime, but I had not really made any effort to stop feeding to sleep earlier. Friends had no issue stopping around the age of 12/18 months.

If it works for you it's a superpower. Easiest way to get them to sleep. My son fed to sleep at bedtime until about 11 months and then started to be put down drowsy (not my doing, be would come off the boob and still be moving etc so barely awake, I'd put him down and he'd settle) still feeds to sleeps for naps at 19 months but I can see him stopping sleeping so easily soon and I don't know what I'll do!

Oh and nursery will work their magic. He'll sleep there without boob no problem once he is used to being there.

I did til DD was nearly two! Nursery workers are magicians and can get babies to nap without it (partly because nursery is exhausting I expect) so don't worry on that one, they will be well used to soothing fed to sleep babies.

I don't know how I'd have stopped before then tbh because my tactic was always to say to her, when I decided it was time to stop, that it's running out, mummy only has a little bit left etc. She then started saying to me 'just a little bit' then we had a couple of nights where she was tired enough to drop off with a cuddle. And she did then just stop but still needs a cuddle to fall asleep, I'm fine with this. I had the guilt too but we have found that muddling along and doing things how they fit with us has worked a lot better than trying to be by the book, I have got frustrated a few times when she's not done what was predicted but then just decided to go with the flow. She sleeps through most nights without us doing any identifiable training other than having a routine and also pushing her bedtime back a bit beyond the 7pm 'norm' as she seems to be a night owl.

Naps we got out of the habit a bit earlier by me having to get her to sleep in the car or pushchair at the weekend, not being fed to sleep for her one nap at nursery each day also helped to break the association of course. And she dropped her nap pretty early during the day at weekends as we let her sleep in and go to bed a bit earlier to avoid needing it, if we weren't out in the car.

So if it's working for you, keep going. I only change things now if they aren't suiting DD and us any more.

Could you try replacing the boob with a dummy !

You just do what works for you. I breastfed my slow-feeding dd1 to sleep for 18 months and it was fine. Don’t second guess yourself if it’s working.

Annoyingly, dd2 fed like an undergraduate hitting the free wine at a talk 😁 so was always still wide awake when she was done! Enjoy it while you can because the next one might not respond to the same tricks!

www.instagram.com/p/CS2E9EqIIoU/

This lady Lyndsey Hookway is a sleep and lactation expert. I really rate her stuff.

Yes Lyndsay is brilliant.

Is what I’m doing OK?

If it’s working for you, it’s absolutely fine! It is certainly not doing him any harm; it’s actually a lovely way for a baby to fall asleep. If you’re happy with it, there’s nothing at all wrong.

If I continue like this, I am concerned about nursery; he’ll start when he’s 11MO 2 days a week also with our mums one day a week each but obviously I won’t be there to feed him so will he nap ok without me?

I wouldn’t worry about this 6 months out. You can cross that bridge when you come to it. My baby naturally stopped feeding to sleep at around 7 months, so worrying about it at 6 months would have been pointless. It’s fine to do what works for as long as you need to, and only worry about making changes once it’s necessary.

Will it end naturally before bedtime, like he just won’t need it one day? How old?

He might - my baby stopped naturally as I said above. Or you might need to gently wean him off of feeding to sleep. There are lots of ways to do this - I would look up ‘habit stacking’ and follow Lyndsay Hookway on Instagram, she has great advice on this.

There isn't a right or wrong as far as meeting your baby's needs. Ignore advertising as it is there to make a profit for someone by manipulating you to think that you need to splash money on something.
Your baby will have changed hugely before they start nursery so please don't worry about that. In any case they are professional child carers and will manage your baby fine.

My Ds is 2.5 and still feeds to sleep. He can settle without but likes the comfort while I sing his bedtime song.

If it works for you that's all that matters tbh.

Not an 'experienced' mum at all but I have a 5 month old baby son and I have been doing exactly the same and I think breastfeeding him to sleep is lovely. If there's one thing I've learned so far it's not to worry about bad habits or worry because a book or advert tells you that you should or shouldn't be doing something and that if you have a system that works, stick with it, don't need to fix what ain't broken

As others have said, if it’s working for you then keep doing it! I fed my baby to sleep for all naps and bedtime. I did start to transition away from it using Lynsey hookway habit stacking when DS was about 7 months, because he was sleeping terribly and I thought it might help if he didn’t fall asleep on the boob (it made no difference!) but it meant my husband could do bedtime as well which was nice for me. Nursery will work their magic don’t worry! My DS is now 11 months and doesn’t feed to sleep for any of his naps or bedtime, I miss it!!!

It's fine if it works for you! I breastfed my daughter to sleep until she was 2.5 years old. She'd go to sleep if I wasn't there with a cuddle from someone and now I've stopped I cuddle her to sleep. It's nice to have that time together ... she won't always want it!

Oh and nursery are miracle workers. She wouldn't nap for me unless she was on the move or on the boob but they just sprinkled them with magic dust or something at nursery and they all sleep!

Yes it's totally fine to feed to sleep! Look up Lynsey Hookway and also Kathryn Stagg on Instagram. They have some posts on this. If it works for you & your baby sleeps well then carry on.

I love BF baby to sleep. Having a snoozy feed and snuggle right now. Currently 10months old and is quite happy to nap in buggy on a walk or whatever so we seldom do it now. It's one of my favourite ways to "waste" time. 3 DC and the others weaned themselves down off feeds with no dramas.

He won’t take the dummy, he just plays with it if I give it to him though it does stop him crying i always worry then he’s perking up to play!

You guys are the best, feel so much better after reading these and knowing I’m not doing anything wrong and that so many of you do the same with your babes. Thanks for all the tips and advice and reassurance!
And you’re so right, the advertising is just to sell consultation sessions etc by making us feel bad. I don’t think there’s not enough talk in general though about how BF to sleep is all ok and natural, unless I missed all that!

Xx