Changing my daughters surname

[Scotlandmummy3]

Hi there 😊
I'm looking for a bit of advice
My daughter is 3 years old and about to start nursery she doesn't want to be called her dads surname and wants mine and my husbands who iv been with for 15 years and are married now (we did break up and I had a 1 night with a ex her dad ) she sees him twice a month which is his choice iv offered more but he is happy with that as he has his own family aswell , she does see his mum more and I feel like changing her name only at school will hurt the grandmother but I also want my daughter to feel part of my family as her big brothers me and my husband all have the same last name.
Has anyone else been in this situation ??

I believe the father should have the last name If you actually believed that, you would have told her no about changing it.

Advice: If you don't think he would mind, tell him she wants to change her surname, can he sign the relevant papers. Why would the grandmother even come into this?!

I didn't want to give her my unmarried name so that's why she didn't get mine
She will be going to school with her brothers and has ask for her name to be the same as mine and there's
I didn't know I was going to get back with my husband and we would all have the same last names apart from her and don't want her to ever feel excluded blow doesn't belong because of this
Last names can be known as at school as I know children already that had this

No it’s not okay.

You can ask him to be known by whatever name you want at school. One of my friends' children has a different surname to her and her children. She asked the school to use her married name as his surname. No issue.

You could ask the fathers permission to double barrel the surname or change it to yours (do this by deed poll) and then ask the school for her to be known as the name she wishes to use.

I didn't want to give her my unmarried name so that's why she didn't get mine
You seem to think women rent names from men. Why didn't you give her your surname? Not your ‘unmarried surname’? The actual official surname you have?

Again, if you don't think he will care, tell him she has asked for it be be changed and be ready with the paperwork to sign. Tell him politely, rather than ask. Assume he will do it.

Why did you and your dh separate?

@sunshineandshowers21

you should have given her your last name to begin with if that’s what you wanted. i can’t see a three year old understanding that she has a different surname and then asking to change it. it sounds like you want to change it and are trying to justify changing it by making it seem like your daughter’s idea.

Ding ding ding! No way a 3 year old has a good enough grasp on the concept of surnames to ask for hers to be changes. Totally OP's idea.