'Bird nesting'

[Teamonkey123]

First time poster, just wanted to ask really what people thought of the 'bird nesting' approach to divorce? As I understand it a home, perhaps the marital home, is kept and the children live there 100% of the time. The parents then take it in turn to live there, and somewhere else when it's not their 'turn'. I can't help thinking that, long term, this has definite benefits for the children, but would be interested to see what others think?

It sounds good in theory but practically could be very difficult.

How would the family finance 3 homes? Or would the parents both return to a second shared home on their ‘off’ days / weeks?

How would you negotiate boundaries on using the space? Would the parents both be using the same bedroom, and would they feel ok about that?

How do you ensure both parents do their share of laundry / cleaning / stocking food etc?

If one or both parents gets a new partner, do they move between homes too? Would the other parent be ok with this?

How are decisions on decorating etc to be made?

I suppose in a genuinely cooperative coparenting relationship it could work, but for the overwhelming majority of couples it wouldn’t. People who have broken up often need as clean a break as possible to move on, and sharing a living space (even if not there at the same time) won’t be conducive to that.

I think this could work for the first year or so post separation, as a way to ease the change for the DC so they aren’t dealing with a split and a house move all at once.

After that I think the advent of new partners will make it very tricky.

Also it will only work if both parents are domestically reliable and won’t leave the place a mess, fridge empty etc.

I think its definitely better for the children. One of the worst part of separation for children is having to live between two homes. But the adults really need to be on the same page. There has to be clear boundaries around house work, privacy, communication etc.

Thank you for the replies 😊, all interesting statements, I'd read that this kind of situation around divorce had been happening for some time in the Netherlands, but although I think it does give an element of continuity for the children you'd have to be pretty much emotionally disengaged from your ex to make it work? Or at least be very mature about things 😬😬?

This approach is based on the assumption you'll all stay in the same area