Ft job, parenting, exercise, house? How does it all fit in?

[QforCucumber]

I've been back at work after mat leave with 2nd baby since February and we just can't seem to find a balance - at the minute the thing that's fallen by the wayside is exercise, I can't remember the last time I managed even a yoga video.

Kids are 5 and 14 months, the baby wakes at 5:30 every day so struggling to even get up before him to have 30 mins alone! He sleeps all night from 6:30 though so it's not the worst of situations.

How do people manage to balance full time jobs, 2 kids, maintaining friendships, exercise, self care? Without it all falling apart?!

Thank you everyone, honestly it's just so good to know that we aren't failing at spinning all the plates and instead noone else is doing it all either.

In my head I'd love to exercise when ds2 wakes up at 5:30, in reality I sit with a cup of tea while he watches Thomas/duggee/something equally as frowned upon, and mentally prepare myself for another day of the same old shit.

Thank you for this thread @QforCucumber it's made me feel normal. I really miss regular exercise but have no idea how I would fit it in and I'm not even back at work yet.

@Fispi

Thank you for this thread *@QforCucumber* it's made me feel normal. I really miss regular exercise but have no idea how I would fit it in and I'm not even back at work yet.

Yes thank you from me too It’s nice to know I’m not alone And also that hopefully there will be more time coming (in about 5 or 8 years)

Mine are 4 and 10 and I still don't seem to have time to exercise. DH is a SAHD but I work FT, get up at 6 and am out to work by 7.30. Home around 5.30ish then it's dinner, bedtime routines, admin stuff and we usually crash onto the sofa at around 9-9.30pm. Tuesday & Friday evenings DH is at football training, plus Saturday morning matches and sometimes Sunday morning training. The DC are a nightmare to get to bed and often aren't asleep until 10-11pm. Once DS2 starts school in September I'm hoping we'll have a better routine. We've also just got a dog so will have to take him out for walks which I'm hoping will help me get out of the house and get some exercise done!

in reality I sit with a cup of tea while he watches Thomas/duggee/something equally as frowned upon, and mentally prepare myself for another day of the same old shit.

^

😂 I know the feeling

Can you exercise during your lunch break? or just go shopping instead

Just take life as it comes OP. I have a 4 year old & 17 month old. I work 4 days a week & the day off is obviously with the kids.

My house is at an acceptable level of clean. I have a cordless hoover that I zoom round the kitchen & living room with daily (if needed) or every other day. The bathrooms are done over lunch time one weekend. I could probably dust more.

Exercise is sporadic. My kids wake up at the crack of dawn & I'm a real night owl, so I’m always tired 😂 but I try to do 4x 20minute HITT from YouTube. My OH & I take it in turns to cook. On my non - cook nights, I do my 20 minutes. And then twice at the weekend. I just can’t fit in anything else & I don’t want or need too. If I’m having a very busy or stressful or tiring week, exercise is the first to go & that is fine. I fairly active anyway with young kids, my toddler doesn’t let me sit still!

I’m at peace with this phase of my life not being about exercise & an immaculate home! It’s about being present for my kids, a good mum & looking after myself.

I don’t work full time and still struggle to fit it all in!

Friends we usually meet for a family walk every few weeks. Or sometimes I’ll meet my friend for a walk in the evening. We also camp with one group of friends so have had 2 separate weeks and a couple of weekends away with them. I go to a yoga class one evening a week with another friend.

Exercise is usually the first thing to fall by the wayside but I’ve been doing a 3 minute plank when I run the kids’ bath and then either a 5/6 minute arms or abs workout as and when I can. Or a ten minute yoga video. My partner disapproves of this as he thinks you have to do exercise in one chunk for it to work but I don’t seem to have a big chunk to do a proper workout and have decided anything is better than nothing!

Housecleaning I do similar to the organised mum method but not sure I would if I worked full time. I think then I’d just keep on top of kitchen bathroom and floors and sod the dusting!

I used to exercise via a bike commute and made friends at work to socialise whilst at work - lunch breaks, coffee breaks.

Running is also a time efficient way to exercise as you don't waste any time going somewhere else to exercise, just start clocking up the time as soon as you leave your front door.

Life needs to become as efficient as you can make it.

Can you commute by bike?

I was a SAHM when mine were little and I found time 1-2 times a week for swimming.

I fell your pain. There was a thread about this recently & many seemed to get up at 5am which I can't as I can't go to bed so early & need sleep. I don't even work f/t! I prioritise friendships and relationships over exercise though.

oh & many had partners that didn't exercise or hardly at all.

Oh & the majority wfh.

Finally, don't feel bad about not spending enough time with DC, my DC don't look back and remember the daily/weekly grind, they remember the happy holidays or special occasions and how they have two happy parents rather than worn down and burnt out.

I think this depends. My dc love that I can take them to the park/playground with their friends after school.

@countrytown I agree, I only take a 30 minute lunch so I can pick DS up from School on a Friday and we get a gingerbread man from the bakery and it really is the highlight of his week.

@Snog the timings don't allow for it annoyingly, I have to drop DS2 at nursery 2 miles in one direction, head back towards home to drop DS1 at school and then 2 miles the opposite direction to work - I arrive at work at pretty much bang on start time.

I'm going to start taking my 30 min break as a walk, at least up my step count there. As said above, something is better than nothing.

@crossstitchingnana it was easy when I was on maternity leave, I was able to keep on top of the house, see friends, do the food shop and do a workout video during nap time. If I was at home I could manage it, but add in 40 hours a week out of the house and there goes the balance (for me anyway)

I'm going to start taking my 30 min break as a walk, at least up my step count there. As said above, something is better than nothing.

That's definitely something

Can DH do some of the dc pick ups or drop offs so that you can at least cycle to work a few days a week?

I used to drive to school and then work but found that in my case, with traffic and not being able to park that close to work, it didn't take any longer to cycle.

Everyone in my town cycles though and we don't have any hills! There are all sorts of bikes on our roads that take as many as 4 children.

@snog I drop off, he then does pick up from Nursery and after school cm.
I'm not being obstructive for that one, but driving does work better for us in that sense (parking at the office directly outside work, and sometimes I also pop home at lunch time to stick a wash on or prep slow cooker dinner for the evening - efficiency in other ways

I get that. I think with long working hours and both parents working we often have no real choice but to drive, even when living as you do relatively close to school and work. I think we need to change things structurally here in the UK so that people can have the balanced life that you are looking for with time for rest, work, family, friends, leisure and self care.

I'm a big supporter of a move to the 4 day week as being the normal working pattern.

A regular lunchtime walk sounds like a great idea though, even if only you only manage this once a week!

I like to go for a walk with a friend instead of a coffee sometimes, combining exercise and friendship.

I’ve got a 3 year old and a 15 month old and work FT. I’m going to have to shoehorn some exercise otherwise I will go insane as I have zero me time. I’ve just joined (a very expensive) gym as they are open 6am to 9pm and they do classes as 6am and at lunchtime and have classes starting at 7/7:30pm. The plan is for me to either get up at 5:30am and do a class from 6-6:45am or squeeze in a lunchtime class, or a class at 7am on Sat/Sun.

Social life is taking kids to the park with a friend and taking a coffee atm. No time for a separate social life.

Fortunately, I am able to wfh 90% of the time. DD is starting at nearby nursery which is 15 mins walk each way so that will give me almost 1 hour of exercise per day (15 mins there and back x 2)

I’m also looking at hiring a cleaner as I feel like a slave atm all I do is work and clean/tidy/cook. DH doesn’t pull his weight which is a continual bone of contention.