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Original poster

20 month old night waking, exhausted parents any help appreciated

16 replies

Mumplum1 · 21/08/2021 23:54

Our 20 month old has went from being a great sleeper to waking up every night, this started in June so been going on a few months.

He goes to bed at 7, puts himself to sleep, but wakes up anytime between 11 and 2, hysterical and overtired but really struggles to go back to sleep, we have taken him out in the car to get him back down quite a few times as been desperate.

He is warm enough, well fed just before bed, room has a blackout blind and there is no noise causing wakeup do we can't figure it out. I have tried not lifting him and shushing him patting him but he is so hysterical (although he does stop if we lift him)

He has about 3 hours for his nap (12 - 3) and we wake him up most days to stop him getting any longer.

We feel at a total loss for how to move forward, any tips, similar experience and advice would be very much appreciated.

Tia for reading 🙂

OP posts:
SilverTimpani · 22/08/2021 05:00

It sounds like his daytime nap might be a bit long. Most 20 month olds would have a 2 hour nap rather than 3.

Have you tried waking him after 2 hours and seeing if that helps?

lannistunut · 22/08/2021 05:22

Quite common to have separation anxiety. Has anything changed at all in June?

I'll be honest, we had ours sleep in our room to avoid/limit disturbance, and if it is emotional and you're willing, might be worth just doing that. They don't fully wake up if you're there when they first stir (obviously they still wake sometimes, nothing is perfect).

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 22/08/2021 05:52

Ive just had to cut my 17mo day time nap from 3 hours to 2 hours because he was waking up at night and staying awake for hours.

Maybe wake him earlier?

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Chocolatetrifle · 22/08/2021 15:48

Just for comparison my 20 month old has a nap for an hour and a half to one hour 45 and goes to bed between 7.45 and 8. He is up from about 6 onwards. He will wake a couple of times in the night, I give him a drink of water in the night and will settle again.
I think a 3 hour nap is too long considering he is going to sleep at 7. Try cutting the nap. Also is his nappy very wet when he wake? This might be waking him. He might need a quick change and will then feel more comfortable.

Wagglerock · 22/08/2021 15:49

I'd cut the nap too.

Wagglerock · 22/08/2021 15:49

Cut the nap down I meant rather than cut it altogether.

Mammma91 · 22/08/2021 16:01

My DS went through a stage of this too.
He was thirsty!
He now has a sippy cup to sleep with.

Starjammer · 22/08/2021 16:15

Would he sleep if he was in your bed(room) and you just cuddled him back to sleep? DD still co-sleeps but not for the first part of the evening (because I don't go to bed at 6.30pm!), but she is cuddled to sleep and on the rare occasion she wakes up before I get into bed again, I get in beside her and cuddle her for a few mins and she's off again. I could weep when I think of the hours I spent when she was younger sitting by her cot trying to pat her, sing to her, stroke her, when I could have just stuck her in our bed, cuddled her for 3 mins and got my evenings back Grin

When it comes to sleep, I just do whatever gets us all the most sleep and gives me my evenings to myself!

Original poster
Mumplum1 · 22/08/2021 20:30

Thank you all so much for your responses, I will take everything on board.

There have been a few days when he only slept 2 hours and still woke at night so thats why I thought his naps were ok, but after reading your comments I am wondering, do we need to try the short naps more than a day before we would see results ...

Those who changed the naps, how long did it take to see a difference?

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Letsallscreamatthesistene · 22/08/2021 20:35

@Mumplum1

Thank you all so much for your responses, I will take everything on board.

There have been a few days when he only slept 2 hours and still woke at night so thats why I thought his naps were ok, but after reading your comments I am wondering, do we need to try the short naps more than a day before we would see results ...

Those who changed the naps, how long did it take to see a difference?

It was a combo of shortening the nap, and feeding him a filling snack literally just before we take him upstairs to start the bedtime routine, regardless of when hes had dinner. In our case, the night wakings were a combo of hunger and my DS not being tired.
Nc4post99 · 23/08/2021 13:40

I’d cut the nap to between 90 mins and 2 hours. At 2 I think they ‘only’ need between 11/14 hrs of sleep in a 24 period. He might have slightly lower sleep needs so his sleep pressure hasn’t built up enough.

My DD is 22 months, she has a max of 2 hours in the day (often it’s less) but we’ll wake her if she gets to 2. We don’t let her sleep past 2 pm either, bedtime is 7:30/8, it used to be 7 but we’ve noticed she’s happy staying up a bit longer and isn’t showing tired cues. Wake up is between 7/8 xx

Original poster
Mumplum1 · 25/08/2021 18:59

So we have done 2 hour naps since this post, he has stopped waking at night! Still waking at 6/6:30 but I can live with that when we are getting a full nights sleep 🙂
Thank you all who commented, I actually feel quite silly that I didn't realise it was such a simple thing as the naps. I overcomplicated it all (will blame the tiredness ) Appreciate the help ladies x

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Letsallscreamatthesistene · 25/08/2021 19:18

@Mumplum1

So we have done 2 hour naps since this post, he has stopped waking at night! Still waking at 6/6:30 but I can live with that when we are getting a full nights sleep 🙂 Thank you all who commented, I actually feel quite silly that I didn't realise it was such a simple thing as the naps. I overcomplicated it all (will blame the tiredness ) Appreciate the help ladies x
Dont feel silly, it took me about a month of long night 'parties' before it clicked for me!
Nc4post99 · 25/08/2021 19:26

Gosh yeah don’t feel silly, they really get you with their sleep, one week is sorted and the next back to square 1.

I know you said in your original post you have a blackout blind, how dark is the room? We have (alleged) blackout blinds in our house but lots of light was still coming through, so we got some from the gro company I think that sucker onto the window, that pushed the earlier wake ups a bit later? Might help get you 7am rather than 6:30? Xx

Original poster
Mumplum1 · 25/08/2021 19:41

@Nc4post99 @Letsallscreamatthesistene

This is going to sound awful but we had light shining through at corners as the blind wouldn't stay put so my dh cut the blind to size and used duct tape to tape it to the pvc frame so it is defo dark, all day 🤣
Thank you for the tip though, maybe with the darkness and shorter naps he will eventually get up later. x @nc4post

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Original poster
Mumplum1 · 25/08/2021 19:42

Oh sorry my message to you disappeared when i posted.

Thank you! x @Letsallscr

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