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Does this sound like normal 6 year old behaviour?

9 replies

frosties1 · 20/08/2021 10:28

DS is 6. As DS has got older, I've begun to notice distinct differences between him and his peers. I also see a lot of similarities between DS and how I was a child.

90% of the time, he is being silly / making silly noises / over the top. He can't just walk down the street, he's got to be doing some version of jumping, skipping, running, legs flailing. I will tell him to walk properly and he will do so for 30 seconds and then be right back to being silly again. It's almost like an impulse he can't help. Ditto for making random silly noises. He always seems to be talking a level above everyone else, even when reminded to lower the volume. I think some other children can find him overwhelming.

He constantly interrupts even when repeatedly reminded not to. He has got better at this though and now sulks whilst waiting his turn. He never seems tired, although he does go to bed when asked and has a food routine. When he does go to bed he can chat to himself for an hour before falling asleep. As an example, we can have a packed day out in London, walking for ages, visiting shops and sites, theatre, dinner, and he will still be messing around and chatting on the train home at 8pm.

When absorbed in something that interests him (watching TV, playing on his switch, building lego, reading a book, playing with his toys or a game he has invented) he can sit still and quietly for hours. If asked to do a specific task e.g. a maths worksheet he will sit and concentrate until it is complete. He's very good in his own environment and most of these behaviours are seen outside of the home. We also frequently go to the cinema and he will sit and watch a 2+ hour film with no fuss. He will sit nicely in a restaurant / cafe for the most part, especially if he's got colouring or a worksheet to occupy him. He knows not to run around, be noisy etc. in these situations.

He is a high achiever as am I (straight A's throughout school life). He has no issues academically, but has struggled to make friendships. He does have some good friends at school now, mostly with the children whose mums I am close with. School has called me in to tell me that he fidgets all the time, he can't keep still, he won't stand in the line quietly. He distracts others, which isn't an issue for him as he is very clever, but can cause issues for the other children. He is always doing something that the other children aren't, for instance, they will all be waiting nicely and DS will be leaping about.

Increasingly I am wondering if there is some ADHD tendencies (as well as undiagnosed in myself). Does anyone have any experience with this and can offer some advice?

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TheYearOfSmallThings · 20/08/2021 10:40

A lot of it sounds normal for a bright but socially immature 6 year old boy. The capering, noises and general annoyingness is not abnormal at this age unfortunately.

If he can sit calmly through a movie and a meal out, he is doing better than most of the 6 year olds I know in real life, although Mumsnet may say otherwise.

I would discuss it with the school again, maybe at half term, when he has had a chance to settle in and get used to the demands of year 2. The teachers will have a view on whether his behaviour and attention are within normal bounds or not. It doesn't sound as though you are really struggling with him (apart from the weariness an adult feels with a noisy 6 year old in constant motion).

frosties1 · 20/08/2021 10:49

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Thank you for your reply. It's only been in recent months with school mentioning his behaviour and seeing him around other children of a similar age that I have begun to reflect.

I'm not struggling with him for the most part, but some days can be exhausting with constantly having to remind him to be quiet, not to interrupt, walk sensibly, have a conversation etc. I've had several people (friends, family, strangers) comment that they 'don't know how I do it' and 'must be exhausted' though.

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 20/08/2021 11:10

Yes, you are basically living my life, and I am very familiar with the weariness and the comments!

My DS (also 6) has been assessed for ASD, and they are clear that he doesn't have that, but agree there may be "something". However he struggles to sit through a film (as in fairness do all his friends) or a meal. Conversely his school has no concerns about him, although he is average rather than smart. So if the school has started dropping hints, I would follow up on that, but give him time so that his new teacher can comment based on a good understanding of him. A bright child who benefits from routine and being challenged may have felt at sea over the last year.

Also if you have a close friend, sister etc who will give you an honest opinion, if they mention that he's a handful, I might ask if they feel he is unusually so. It is so hard to have a clear view of our children, and of our parenting of them!

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54321nought · 20/08/2021 11:13

he sounds lovely - and normal

YouJustDoYou · 20/08/2021 11:49

My dd was the same at that age. Grew out of it.

Twounderfive83 · 21/08/2021 21:42

My DS is a 5 year old January born, so going into year 1, and in some ways very similar!

The silliness/noises/loudness he does a lot, more so in the last year I’d say. It’s not 90% of the time so I don’t quite have the same “he’s a handful/exhausting” feeling, but it’s definitely at specific times of day/when we are doing certain things.

He’s also very distractible/distracted at school, and doesn’t look like he is listening, but can answer questions as if he is - according to the teacher. We’ve also had a term of him making silly noises at group work time, which was only mentioned to me at the last parents’ evening and slightly downplayed so I don’t think it’s hugely disruptive - yet. But I worry about when this sort of low level disruption will stop being tolerated (he apparently always stops when asked, but will still do it again a while later). Like your DS though he can concentrate well on work in his workbooks etc.

I do wonder about neurodiversity, I used to have ASD in the back of my mind when he was younger but now I would veer more towards ADHD/ADD. Suspect DH has some traits and I may do too. DS can be very fidgety in what might be classed as a sensory seeking way - recently chewing/sucking fingers but he’s consistently been a leg jiggler, finger clicker/wiggler, and sits very slouchy, never upright. I’ve come to notice that several members of my family (and myself) are very fidgety and like DS have poor volume control so it’s difficult to know whether it’s anything or nothing.

Does your DS sleep well? Although mine seems to have plenty of energy, he definitely gets tired in a “normal” way so a day out to London like you describe would have him shattered, if anything he seems to need more sleep than some peers and has always been a dream at going to bed and sleeping 11-12 hours.

Interesting to read some think this behaviour is totally normal and others not so much!

user1490122538 · 08/09/2024 19:50

Hello, I know this is an old thread but sounds like you are describing my now 6 year old!

just wondering if your child did grow out of the behaviour you described? Thank you!! X

Twounderfive83 · 09/09/2024 13:54

I’m not the OP @user1490122538 but I posted about my then 5, now 8 (turning 9 in January!) DS. He doesn’t have a diagnosis of anything but I’m certain he’s got ADHD and maybe ASD too.

coxesorangepippin · 09/09/2024 14:23

Sounds normal

Stop searching for a diagnosis

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