AIBU for getting rid of my sons woodlice

[CrochetCynthia]

When I was tidying up in my 4 year olds room whilst he was at school and found a Tupperware (previously presumed missing!) under his bed filled with woodlice! They all seemed to be alive and he had made some air holes in the top and filled it with some grass and leaves.

I ended up tipping them back into the garden as I thought it was what was best but when my son found out he started bawling. I tried explaining to him that it was cruel to keep them in such a confined space and that the garden was their home but he says they were his friends and worries that they wont survive on their own.

I felt a little guilty but assumed it was something that would blow over quickly but almost a week has passed and he is still upset about it and spends most of his free time in the garden looking under rocks. Was it unreasonable for me to have gotten rid of his pet woodlice without first talking to him about it?

I would have waited until he got home so he could rehome them himself. That would have been a lot less distressing for him.

How would you like it if someone went and poked through your stuff when you were out and decided to ditch some of it because they didnt like it. Thats totally what you did to him. So yes I think yabu. No wonder he is upset.

I don't think they would have survived long in a Tupperware box, although it sounds as if your son was doing his best for them! Maybe it would have been better to explain to him first that they need to live outdoors.

How about getting him some stick insects? Ds1 brought one home from school years ago. Low maintenance ((brambles and ivy!) and just as good company as woodlice!

I empathise I've had to rescue two snails from ds2 who desperately wanted them as pets in his bedroom but I do think you shouldn't have done it without him there.

We explain to ds2 that they would be happier in the wild and to be with their snailey friends. In one case he was particularly attached so the snail needed to do some ninja training in the bushes.

We have repeatedly had the conversation that its not fair to keep animals in a box. But I really wouldn't do it without him there and some explanation at the time. It will feel quite mean to him otherwise.

You could read up on how to make a proper little habitat for some woodlice (or ordinary snails) - I did both when DD was young. Kept them for a while and then put them back in the garden.

Perhaps you need to have a chat with him about not capturing or injuring wild animals. It’s not something that children grasp easily unless an adult explains. My DS imprisoned a bee in a jar and I had to release it and explain that it’s cruel.

It seems a bit strange that a 4 year old would A) be at school this time of year (are you Scottish?) And B) know to put holes in a lid for breathing, C) be able to independently put holes in the lid of a Tupperware box without assistance D) Be able to keep it a secret.

OTOH, I'm not sure what anyone would make this up either. If it's true, yes it was pretty mean, maybe you can console him with a pet or an ant farm or something.

Yabu. Do it with him next time. What about making a bug house in the garden with him so his friends are kept happy and safe outside but he can still see them. Google how to make one.

Yanbu. The animals' needs come first and it's important to learn this. I'm also confused how he managed the holes in the lid.

@user64325 my brother did this exact thing with an ice cream tub and a load of snails when he was around 5. He also made air holes and a little rockery for them in the tub 😄

Do you have any pets? If not, sounds like your son wants one

@user64325 I'm not Scottish but my husband is and we moved over here for his work, so my son started back up at school last week. To be honest I wasn't too surprised at him being able to make the holes in the Tupperware as he is a very capable child when he isn't capturing insects

@CookieCrunch123 Thats a good idea! I'm happy that he has such an interest in nature just not to thrilled about it being brought into the house haha! I'll have a look into some bug houses we can make together

@CrochetCynthia What’s done is done but maybe you can fix it. Do some research about keeping insects, which ones are ok to keep in captivity and how to create the right environment for them. Let him know that he was on the right track with air holes, grass and leaves but there is much more to it than that. Learn more about insects together and their contributions to the eco system.

Below are two links that I think might be helpful.

schoolofbugs.com/which-bugs-make-the-best-pets/

www.gardeningknowhow.com/special/children/creating-a-bug-terrarium-with-kids.htm

You could also explain that wood lice have a very important job to do in the garden and that they like to be able to do their job. And were happy to get back into the garden.

@HunkyPunk

I don't think they would have survived long in a Tupperware box, although it sounds as if your son was doing his best for them! Maybe it would have been better to explain to him first that they need to live outdoors.

How about getting him some stick insects? Ds1 brought one home from school years ago. Low maintenance ((brambles and ivy!) and just as good company as woodlice!

Yes he was definitely trying his best, bless him! Thanks for the suggestion stick insects might be worth looking into. He's very into insects at the moment so i'm sure he would be very excited.

Only get stick insects if you're okay with ending up with 10.,000 stick insects, and them escaping and wandering around your kitchen ceiling...

@Persipan

Only get stick insects if you're okay with ending up with 10.,000 stick insects, and them escaping and wandering around your kitchen ceiling...

Well thank you VERY much for that future nightmare! 🤣🤪

@Persipan

Only get stick insects if you're okay with ending up with 10.,000 stick insects, and them escaping and wandering around your kitchen ceiling...

Thank goodness that never happened with Sticky! He (we assumed he was male with no idea whatsoever how to tell!) lasted for about 18 months. The most traumatic thing was coming down one morning to find him upside down on the floor of his tank, legs in the air and stiff as a board. To be fair, had he been upright, you might not have been able to tell that he'd expired . I kept checking for a couple of hours in case he 'came to'. We were genuinely sad at his passing.