Parental anxiety

[Daisy2017]

Hi everyone,
I am due to be going away for the first time without my 2.5 year old and leaving her at home with her dad and 4 year old sibling.

I am anxious about leaving her as I feel her dad won’t be able to ‘do’ everything for 4 days and that he will get stressed with her as she can be a typical toddler and also wakes up in the night still.

(Although he is capable doing the odd bedtime routine etc, he struggles with his patience and can shout at her and she always comes running to mummy. When I ask him if he’s going to be ok he gets a bit defensive and aggressive and doesn’t reassure me. He also said i need to sort out the sleeping and get her trained ?!) you cannot stop a child waking even if you sleep train them!
Anyway, I just feel anxious. Is it me over worrying or is it because my gut tells me to worry?!

I feel like I should just leave it and wait until she’s a bit older for a weekend away.
Any advice welcome!
M

Well, none of us can say.
I can tell you that my dh would have been fine looking after his dc for a weekend when mine were that age, but you are the one saying "he struggles with his patience".
None of us know if that is you trying to hold on to some kind of 'needing to be needed' or if that is actually a genuine worry about your dh.

Thanks for the reply. I think the worry comes from the fact that if she doesn’t comply and stop doing something I’ve seen him get angry and a few weeks ago I didn’t see (just heard the commotion) but I believe he ‘tapped her on the bum’ as he said and I said that I did not agree with that in any terms.
Also I think it is me being over anxious but I can’t seem to relax about the idea and the incident a few weeks ago made me less confident about leaving her. I don’t really think he would do anything to harm her but I know he can have a bad temper from time to time as I have also been on the receiving end.

Your partner sounds horrible and useless. I wouldn't want to leave my child alone with him for 4 days either. He hits her? Totally unacceptable.

If he hits her and he's mean to you I would leave him, he sounds horrible.

I was coming on to say try to relax, it will all be fine.

Then I read that he had tapped her on the bum for 'misbehaving'. I would be concerned about what may happen if he gets really stressed without anyone else there to diffuse things/take over.

I would be concerned about what may happen if he gets really stressed without anyone else there to diffuse things/take over.

Exactly. He's dangerous and can't be trusted.

Gut feeling is there for a reason

I’m afraid yes this is my sight worry as I’m always there to ‘intervene’. It was only one occasion but I know he was hit as a child and he brushed it off, as I said, I didn’t ‘see’ it but as she was so upset I had to run downstairs and said what the hell just happened? I told him if he ever laid a finger on her that would be it, that it is crossing the line. I’m not sure it registered, he thought I was ‘making a big deal of it’
Just his way of deflecting from what had happened I suppose.
He is an older father so old fashioned in his views.