Toddler saying GO AWAY MUMMY!

[CharlieBird25]

So tonight my 2.3yr old son shouted GO AWAY MUMMY at me for a solid 40mins. He was upset, he was angry and he was frustrated AF.

Literally all I did was ask him to put his shoes in the basket!!! Same thing we do everyday when he gets home from nursery.

He was crying he was shouting he threw a tantrum.
At one point I went to get him a drink as he was coughing and he followed me into the kitchen and continued to say GO AWAY MUMMY!
I said “you can’t follow me and then tel me to go away! 😂”

Ironically He came home from nursery With a sticker for being a good boy 😂😂😂

Anyway I wasn’t sure what to make of it all
I didn’t shout at him or tell him off. I sat with him whilst he worked through his tantrum. I told him i loved him and I was here for a cuddle when he was ready. Everything I said riled him up more.

When he was saying “go away” and trying to pull me from my seat I said to him calmly “thats not nice to say to me” and “if you want me to move you have to ask me nicely” “Say excuse me please mummy” “it’s not nice to shout at people”

He Calmed down during dinner. He wouldn’t sit in his chair but sat on his dads lap to eat. Normally we’d insist on the chair but he was in a bit of a state and We could tell he needed a cuddle. After eating on daddy’s lap for a bit he came over to sit on mummy’s lap. He had calmed down, we ate dinner and the rest of the night proceeded as normal. By the time I put him to bed we were giggleing again.

I’m not sure what to make of it all.
I’m overthinking it.
Is he mad at me? Have I done something to upset him? Is something going on at nursery? Should I have been firmer?
Should I feel reassured that he feels comfortable to express these emotions around me? Or is this something I need to nip in the bud?

He’s always been a very strong willed child. I love it about him.
He seemed to really dislike me for a while tonight. Not a nice feeling.

Advice welcomed

My strong willed DS managed to pull his toddler bed mattress off the bed and chuck it down the stairs in a fit of rage at that age because I made him spaghetti and not fusili for tea! Two year are brutal.

You will never win in a battle of wills with a 2 yr old.

My two year old slapped me across the face when I was picking up a mess she had made on the floor… she hasn’t ever been hit or slapped. I cried lol

My grandson at that age used to yell "stop talking" when we were asking him to do something. Over and over. It's normal.

He is now a lovely 17 year old heading to uni.

It's just a toddler tantrum. You handled it well. He doesn't hate you he's just learning to cope with big emotions.
Don't worry about it

He was probably tired and frustrated. He feels safe enough with you to let his frustration out with you I think you have to ride it through. Just don't try to reason with a toddler. He'll outgrow it and become reasonable eventually.

It's jparenting practice for teenagers

I have a similar aged DS. Toddler logic is almost incomprehensible. Today I was screamed at for offering DS a yoghurt. I think you did everything right.

I bet he's ill. Mine does this sort of thing and then next day he'll have a fever or be vomiting every where.

Although I'd have shouted back "no, because I'm going to chase you!" And then tried to get him to cheer up that way.

It's not personal my 2.2 year old is exactly the same.

Totally normal. My DS is also two, and has taken to shouting "I DON'T LOVE YOUUUU, MUMMY!" at the top of his voice when he's upset over some minor issue. Not going to lie, it was a bit upsetting the first time, but now I just smile at him and say "Well, it's a good job I love you then"! It does tend to be worse at the end of the day when he's tired, so guess that might be a factor for you too?

It just means he's tired and maybe (but not necessarily) that he's cross because he missed you at nursery when he started getting tired. Being "good" is pretty tiring, like plastering on a fixed smile in a customer facing job all day... The good boy sticker is actually probably not pedagogical best practice...
Toddlers often lash out at the one they know loves them unconditionally when theyve worn themselves out trying to be "good" for another care giver or generally in public on an outing or similar.

I used to childmind and my mindees often threw a tantrum and ran away when their parents came to fetch them. It didn't mean they preferred me, it meaont they were tired from being sweet and charming to me and were relieved to see their unconditionally loving parents, so rewarded them by not trying to be charming and throwing an almighty wobbler

Agree with other PPs its absolutely not personal and just toddler tantrums.
I've experienced quite a lot of this recently with my three year old. Getting very upset about the smallest thing I've done (often trying to help ) and saying repeatedly 'I don't want you Mummy' or even better 'Don't talk to me'.. I've generally found if I try to reason with her or calm her down right there and then she just gets more upset and its better if I say, OK I'm going to leave you for a minute then walk away and stay near but let her have some space. She knows in still there and not cross. Eventually (could be as much as 45 mins later!) she will want me and want cuddles.

Overtired! Nothing more to it x

You're over thinking it. He was tired and wanted to lash out from frustration, assert his independence. You handled it well, didn't get emotional, kept boundaries. It's fine, honestly.

Sounds like a typical toddler to me, try not to take it personally

DD - for about 10 months would just shout things at me or DH like 'No, No, Not, Not, No' over and over if there was any tiny thing- and there were lots- she didn't want to do. It was so wearing. It could go on for ages. I learned to zone her out. Nothing stopped her. She would eventually exhaust herself and fall asleep and wake up back to normal.

He's 2. Perfectly normal
Behaviour.

I often pick mine up when they do this, give them a big kiss and tell them they are just all tired.

It winds them up BUT I also think it lets them know they are safe and loved.

I also then tell them "we don't say/ do X in our house."

Mind you.... last time I did this was exactly for DD2 telling me to go away. The next day on the way to preschool she suddenly said "go away Mummy!.... we're not in our house now".

Toddlers are dicks 😂

Thanks everyone. Gave me a good giggle in places not gonna lie.

Toddlers eh 🙄
Stay strong
Well wishes to all.
We got dis 💪🏻

Sounds normal to me

My 2 year old frequently shouts No daddy even when I'm not in the room!

@CharlieBird25

Thanks everyone. Gave me a good giggle in places not gonna lie.

Toddlers eh 🙄
Stay strong
Well wishes to all.
We got dis 💪🏻

Toddlers can be really funny if you don't take it personally!

It sounds like you had felled the situation amazingly because these tantrums are so tough and heartbreaking for lots of different reasons. You did nothing wrong and it's ok to feel wounded by it. My amazing 4 year old was a very VERY difficult 2 year old and tantrumed from about age 1.5 - well the other day 😂. It gets easier ♥️

My 2.5 year old said to me the other day mummy get out of my room, then shut the door. Thinks he's fifteen. Sometimes I think nursery is very tiring and they are on their best behaviour, then let it all out at home. I've had to say to DH don't argue with him even if he's being completely illogical, he'll never back down and the whole thing escalates. Five minutes after telling me to get out he came and found me (folding laundry in the next room) gave me a kiss and a cuddle, said sorry for being grumpy and then asked me if I liked trains. All forgotten as far as he's concerned. Don't take it personally, toddlers are ridiculous 😁