Experiences of becoming a second time mum

[boyse4]

I'd love to know peoples experiences of becoming a second time mum, is it easier? Do things come more naturally? How do you juggle two?

I loved it. I felt a million times more confident, not only in the things I was doing for a second time with DC2 but (in a complicated knock-on-effect way) with DC1 too. I finally didn't feel like I was massively out of my depth any more.

Juggling two is occasionally impossible and mostly very liberating. DC2 spent a lot of time in the sling or in one arm, often feeding, while I played or read or got on with stuff with DC1. I'd long since been back at work, so DC1 benefited from me being on mat leave. And they adore each other. I love no longer being the main playmate, and they benefit from having someone else "on their side".

SO much easier for me. Like night & day. You worry so much less, you feel more confident. I didn’t pressure myself breast feeding this time (my choice). I did have a far easier birth & she was a far easier baby to be fair. But I think she was easier because I felt really zen & didn’t panic about anything. I loved the baby stage this time. Hated it with DD1.

DD2 is a toddler now & im much the same. She falls over & I don’t bat an eyelid. I mean, I’m a good parent, I don’t ignore her 😂 but unless she cries in obvious pain I let her get on with it. I don’t constantly hover over her, she just potters off & plays with stuff. She eats what ever is in the house as opposed to DD1 who had an entire menu of puréed freezer food. Again, I haven’t totally neglected her but I just cook whatever we’ve got. Still healthy, home cooked but just off the cuff stuff. DD2 eats far, far better because of it as well.

It is hard sometimes. I’m finding the toddler tantrums & pushing/shoving/snatching phase quite hard with an older one to look after as well! There can be a lot of tears & frustration on all sides! But I know it’ll get easier. My 4 year old is a dream in comparison! 😄

Second time was easier for me too. I didn't have the same worry/decision making burden.

Of course there were times when it was hard but now they're a bit older they amuse each other and DD1 will help her sister do stuff like open packets or show her how to use the toilet etc.

It also depends on the children you get! DD1 enjoys being mother hen and DD2 is pretty relaxed

I'm only 6 months in but another vote for so much easier! It's been a lovely surprise - I didn't really enjoy the first year with DC1 but loved it afterwards, so before having DC2 I was gritting myself to just get through the first year because it would be worth it in the long run. I really wasn't expecting to enjoy the first six months as much as I have. It's also been lovely having the extra time with DC1 because I'm on maternity leave. I found pregnancy really rough with DC2 and was so doubtful when people said it would be easier when the baby was born, but it really was!

easier cos you know what you're doing and not everything is a massive learning curve. Harder because you are juggling more and often pulled in two different directions at once, the smaller the age gap the harder that is.
How, well, you recognise you have one pair of hands and 24 hours and just deal with the most pressing thing in any one moment, anything less urgent than the thing you are doing just has to wait and not beat yourself up about it.
Also involve dc1 with dc2 as much as possible, the more you can help them have a bond from the off, the easier your life is later on.

I agree with @PieceOfString
I have small age gap below 2 years and they are now 10/11. It's ace later on. Close enough to do things together & share interests. You learn with the 1st and worry less & care less with the 2nd

Thank you everyone! All the comments are really reassuring. I hated 'baby stage' with ds as he was such a hard baby! So hopefully I can enjoy it a little bit more next time around!

I had twins second time around with a 4 year old. I'm finding it fine and actually easier than the first time