Hi,
I'm a new dad with a 2-week old baby girl. I've been looking after the baby in the evening when my partner goes up to get some sleep. She's generally a really good baby but a few nights ago she took a temper tantrum. She was screaming and screaming and I was doing everything I could to calm her down but nothing was working. She was just screaming. At one point, whilst cradling her and supporting her head, I rocked her up to me and back down a couple of times a bit more forcefully whilst saying in frustration "I don't know what you want!". She eventually calmed down and went to sleep.
Last night she was fussy again and I was reading tips on how to calm her down. At the end of the guidance it said in bold "you must never shake your baby" and went on to say it could cause brain damage.
I spent the whole evening worried sick, trying to deconstruct what had happened and playing it over and over in my head. How rough was I with her? I wasn't angry. It was only a couple of more "turbulent" rocks. Her head/neck were supported in my hand and my other hand was under her bum. It's not like I held her up by the chest and shook her back and forward with her head bouncing around.
But there's no information on what constitutes a "shake". I think what I did was more like an energetic rocking than shaking. But I don't know. She's seemed fine ever since. She's bright and alert, feeding, wakeful, follows you with her eyes. I didn't even really give it any thought until I read this information and started catastrophising. I suffer a lot with anxiety.
I feel so guilty that in a split second of frustration I've been too rough and put her health at risk. Can someone please tell me that she'll be okay? I can't bear to Google it anymore. Did I shake her?