8 week old - Feeding ALL night

[Bumble6]

Hi, first time mum here to a lovely 8 week + boy and EBF.
We've had a lot of issues which we've persevered through so far but the main one now is that I cannot get him to sleep any other way than feeding him to sleep. We are co sleeping as he just will not go in his moses basket/cot (or pram or sling!!!).
For example last night, from 1 a.m he would feed, fall asleep, wake up after not even half an hour, feed, sick up the milk he's had from over feeding, feed etc etc. He won't be settled by my OH and we've tried several dummies. He then also gets bad wind from the constant feeding.
Bf has been a real struggle and I have kept going for his sake but I am on the verge of giving up because I can't cope with such broken sleep and it's beginning to make me feel claustrophobic.
He is a happy baby in general and I wish I could start to enjoy it all. Any ideas?!!

Sitting on sofa in evening watching TV and being brought food and fluids to try and get some good feeds then?
I would say he probably doesn’t need the milk so it’s more about the comfort and sleep rather than breastfeeding if you see what I mean. Can you practice not feeding him to sleep in the day ie if your DH puts him down or he gets used to settling to sleep in your bed without being fed. Or let him be a bit cross until he manages to settle separate from a feed?
Do you feed lying down or get up and sit?

My DS did this but started at 10 months so different but he clung to me, grabbing fist fulls of my skin to hold himself by my nipple!

In the end settling him in day separate from breastfeeding seemed to help and lots of time on sofa in evenings (which was a bit claustrophobic and hard with 2 other children) but better than poor sleep.

4 children and all bf for between 12-19 months (so 5 years in total) but except for that “blip” I slept great and better than my bottle feeding friends and relatives. (Trying to give you hope with truth).

First off well done for getting this far. As a first time mummy you're probably feeling like this will never end. Trust me it's all a phase and everything gets better with time. If you're cosleepimg and it's the only way you're getting any sleep then just make sure you're doing it safely. Your red book has a good section on safe sleep but the main points to remember are, no drugs (even meds like night nurse that could make you drowsy), no alcohol, don't smoke, no duvets or pillows near baby, sleep baby next to wall and you rather than in between you and your partner so they dont roll over.

Breastfeeding is really hard. I think alot of people don't tell you straight how hard it'll be. It's totally normal for a baby to cluster feed through the night when they are breastfed. They do this to get your supply going strong but also because they go through alot of developmental changes and growth spurts during the first few months and there are periods of time that they will increase feeds.

If he is being sick alot (I. E more than a few teaspoons worth after each feed) it might be worth a trip to the GP to discuss possibly reflux. Is he generally settled and contented or does he cry alot and hard to comfort at times?

Are the periods of being unsettled worse in the evenings? If so this could be colic? Classic times from 5pm to 11pm but can go on. Again unsettled and distressed abd usually difficult to settle. If so somethijg like infacol might soothe baby. If you try infacol use it regularly (as per instructions) as it needs to accumulate in the system rather than just using during periods of being unsettled.

Hope that helps.

Remember you are doing amazingly well. Your health visitor is also there to support you so give them a call. They can help with the stress of it all and provide reassurance.

*to my nipple (not by my nipple - that would have been so much worse!)

Also to add that baby at 8 weeks will be feeding for nourishment and they do need the feed. I would only be addressing 'bad habits' from 6 months when you can start sleep training safely.

Thanks for the replies.
I have been trying all morning to get him to settle in his cot without feeding him to sleep but he just starts getting frantic if I take him off me and I then end up having to feed him again to calm him down. If he is on me or I am holding him all he wants to do is feed/comfort feed.
My OH is working in the day and unable to help put him down.
He's not a grumpy baby or colicky I don't think, just incredibly needy. He only sicks up when he over feeds like he is.
I have some infant gaviscon because I was worried he had silent reflux but not sure it's helped.
I'm not sure how normal it is for them to be like this at nearly 9 weeks. Everyone seems to say they should be feeding every 3 hours or so and at night should be going longer now.😔

I would say it’s more often/variable than 3 hourly in the day. Also night can be 1-4 hourly, rarely would be 6 hours without fees, all babies vary.

I am wondering more about reflux from your update. Could you run it past HV or GP again?

What about the car or walking in the pram, does he get over to sleep easily in other places?

He screams as soon as I put him in the pram unfortunately. I take him out everyday just for a short walk in it but he still won't take to it. He does like the car though and nearly always falls asleep when we go out thankfully!
The doctor I spoke to said he thinks its all just a phase but I pushed for the Infant Gaviscon which he gave me.

I’ve had a spell of this with all 4 of mine and it’s hellish. The only thing that worked for me was cosleeping (following the guidelines).

8 weeks is still tiny! Perfectly normal I'm afraid, I know it's hard but it won't last forever. He's much too small for self-soothing. Have you read about the 4th trimester? It's tough but there's nothing wrong with feeding to sleep and it's natural for him to want to be near you all the time. Mine didn't start going 3+ hours between feeds until she was quite a lot older, I would say it's pretty unrealistic to be expecting that now. Have you tried the gaviscon and is it making any difference?

Some really great responses here that I second. I. E very normal. Try not to listen when people tell you an 8 week old should feed every 3 hours. Breastfed babies often don't follow a timetable, yet a few may be and these are the ones you're comparing yourself to. Is he having plenty of wet and dirty Nappies? I.e soft yellow stools and lots of them? 6 heavy wet Nappies per day? Babies do often cry for no reason at this age but also they love to be close to their mummies. It's very normal and natural behaviour. If hes really unsettled and Gaviscon hasn't worked, infacol may be worth a try. Do one thing at a time though so you know which it is that helped.

Is he gaining weight well?

Thank you again for the replies and ideas.
I gave him the Gaviscon when I last fed him before bed and he slept much better until he started up again with the constant feeding etc about 3 so tonight I will make sure to give him another dose with that feed too.
He hasn't been weighed for two weeks but is being weighed at the start of next week. He was putting on an oz a day for the two weeks before when he was last checked.
BF has been a very difficult journey for us so I'm really hoping his weight gain is OK still 🤞 He has lots of wet nappies everyday but he is only pooing every couple of days now. They are much bigger than they were when he was doing several a day a couple weeks ago and still yellow etc.

Hi OP he's still in the fourth trimester, like mine. It just takes time for some of us. Are you keeping him upright after every feed and doing things like wonky winding to reduce the chance of bringing his milk back up? Mine won't go on their back at all so we're still sitting up with the baby in shifts. I express breast milk so that baby can have a bottle when it's Dad's shift too. Best of both worlds I think.

By 12 weeks things will be much better.

Yes he definitely is still in fourth trimester mode!
I have to feed him to sleep and I'm so exhausted I find sitting him upright for half an hour after in the middle of the night almost impossible 😔 I haven't tried the wonky winding but just looked it up and going to give it a try!
Last night was slightly better with him waking up every two hours and I gave him gaviscon with his before bed and 2 a.m feed which may have helped.
People all seemed to say it gets a bit easier at 6 weeks and I think I stupidly got my hopes up!
He's now been napping on me for over 2 hours 😂 Typical 😂

I'm glad it was slightly better.

Yes lower your expectations there! It's still so early!

It helps that I have no expectations of what I will achieve in the day and it does help me not get worked up about being so exhausted if I am not under pressure. I let baby contact nap as much as possible as I know it's temporary. Can you get baby's father to sit upright for at least 30 mins?

Feed him to sleep if it works, do whatever it takes to get some sleep yourself and then if you want to break the habit much later on. Personally I don't see anything wrong with it and it seems perfectly natural imo when they're this tiny. Well done

Wet Nappies and soft yellow stools on a regular basis along with steady weight gain are all good signs that he is getting enough from you. Keep in touch with your health visitor because they can guide you and support you. You have done absolutely amazingly well to breastfeed up to now. An improvement over the last few nights is really encouraging. Especially if the Gaviscon has helped. Fingers crossed things get better from here