How do you get your baby to self settle?

[SassyPants87]

So trying to get my 10 month old to self settle and nothing I do works!!

She was getting really good at it and then we started weaning, and then teething hit and then illnesses from nursery! And now I have to rock her for ages to get her to go to sleep and hod forbid if I sit down, nope I have to rock her standing!

What techniques did you use for self settling? We have a really good bedtime routine but just can't get her to settle herself in the cot

Introducing a comforter really helped for us, that and time!

A comforter at 3 months. Worked wonders. And was never taken out of the cot.

We did the Calm and Bright plan! X

My dd was pretty bad at night for self settling i got in the habit of rocking her asleep. we literally tried everything. Nightlights, white noise, comforter, sitting with her, all sorts. I spoke to my health visitor because I was so tired and she gave me advice which finally worked. I'd give her a feed, bath, story, keeping it all very calm put her down say goodnight I love you then walked out and sat on the stair where she couldn't see me, I waited 1 minute to begin with and if she was still crying I'd go in and not say a word and lay her back down, then I'd wait 2 minutes and do the same thing. It did take 2 hours the first night but it worked. I felt awful leaving her to cry but I knew everything else we did failed and it wasnt like I was leaving her too long and each night got less until finally I was able to say night and leave and she would either go straight sleep or babble to herself before falling asleep. Shes 5 now and havnt had any problems since unless she poorly.

We did sleep training to get ours to learn to self settle. Gradual retreat method - consistent bedtime routine. In cot awake. Stayed until fell asleep. Verbally comforted and patted tried not to pick up. Every few days moved closer to the door until was out the room. There was some crying protesting initially but didn't take long for him to get the idea. No problems with falling asleep and self settling in the night since.

Ha gosh we had exactly the same, we read so much crap online about drowsy but awake but nothing ever seemed to work and we assumed we were incompetent parents.
In the end we just cracked and went for co sleeping which meant no one really slept well but overall it worked. But then it was too much for us, so we eventually resorted to"don't do anything at bedtime you don't want to do in the middle of the night"
Which was basically controlled crying, which was absolutely horrible but the upside is each of us actually sleeps better.
Sorry it's not a magic solution but i guarantee it's not something you're doing badly it's just the result of trying your best! Good luck.

Trying the gradual retreat method from today 🤞 with our 8month old. Its so hard to get him to nap and he feeds to sleep at bedtime and usually wakes for milk in the night, but hoping to stop the association of needing milk to sleep and be able to put him down awake and go off to sleep himself 🤞

Good luck @StrawberrySanta stopping the feeding to sleep can feel impossible but they do get the hang of it. We do a milk bath two books then sleeping bag and in cot routine which works well. Started with milk before bed and he fed around 11pm 3am and then when he woke for the day. Gradually reduced these and he slept through once the night feeds stopped. Hope some of that helps let me know if any questions.

I didn't at that age. It's quite normal that they can't - it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. She'll get there herself when she's a bit older if you don't want to do anything.

We just carried on with rocking. When he got too heavy for me to rock standing up, I did insist on sitting down to rock him on a rocking chair (the IKEA one) This made it at least a little more comfortable! We did this until he was 3! But it worked and usually made bedtimes not too stressful.