Please tell me it gets better

[TheMadHouse]

I have two boys 2.8 and 17 months and they are both under theweather at the moment, as am I, but the real issue here is the constant fighting.

DS1 is contantly sitting on his little brother, pushing him over ir patting him (his word for hitting - eh).

I am sick of putting him in time out only for it to hapen again 2 minutes later. This also happens when we go out and I see all the other mums looking at me as if to say - get them under control.

I just want to cry - help please

Mine are 2.6 and 12 months, and they are just the same.

OTOH my brothers and I used to fight when we were little and we get on really well now so you know it will stop one day

Mine are 3 & 20 months. good days & bad days. I feel like an awful mother too at times.

The other mothers are probably looking at you sympathetically & relieved that it is not their children fighting at this moment. and if they are not then sod them -they probably only have one child.

I have DS1 3.3 and DS2 15 months. They fight all the time over the same toys. I try to let them get on with it as much as possible as they have to sort it out amongst themselves but it is really hard especially when DS1 makes DS2 cry....I too am hoping it's a phase they grow out of soon...

I have two boys 5 and 2.4 - 5 year old just getting better but 2 year old very difficult at the moment. Reading your message is making me cry even though he's asleep at the moment - thank goodness.
I know it won't last and just wanted to say you're not on your own.

Thanks for your messages, nimnom I did not mean to make you sry, what makes it harder is that my eldest is a gem otherwise, but he is dropping his lunchtime nap so he is tired and I ma tired and weeping at the moment.

I hate watching them fight. It really upsets me

mine are 5 and 13 years and fight like cat and dog ,not sure if that helps ,but i live in hope that one of them will leave home at some point in the future

Mine fight too and it's horrible.
Sorry your ds is dropping his nap - my ds2 still has 2/3 hrs at lunchtime - if he didn't I would go even more insane than I am now
I've stopped crying now - had some chocolate and I now feel much better

TheMadHouse, do you have siblings yourself, and if so, didn't you fight?

The reason why I ask is that my dh is an only child and he gets quite upset by the fighting, whereas as I had 2 brothers and know it is perfectly normal, I'm quite chilled over it (irritated, of course, but I don't let it affect my confidence in my parenting).
You just have to remember that it doesn't mean they are particularly aggressive children or that you are not doing a great job as a mum - it's just what some kids do.

Oh god, I could have written this myself. Mine are exactly the same age. DD is constantly pushing DS over, patting him and wrestling him to the ground. Worse still, she's even started doing it to others at toddler group. Time out is not working. She cries for a bit, comes back in the room and pushes him over again.

Kathy - I did have a young brother (three and a half year age gap), but we did not fight or I can not remeber it.

My DH was one of two brothers and he said he fought with this DB all the time.

Sounds like you had a bigger age gap with your db than your two have.
It is so frustrating how little it gets through to them, isn't it? We praise dd like mad when she is nice to ds and do time-out consistently when she's not. Makes no difference whatsoever though

Hi, mine are 2.9 and 17mths, and i have had the same a lot too. The only thing I find helps (and this is only recently) is prevention, ie warning dd (2.9) repeatedly to be gentle with her brother before she does anything untoward - if she isn't she goes briefly to time out every time she wilfully hurts him. I'm starting to find that she actually takes some notice now and seems to be able to control her impulses, well some of the time anyway. My problem is now that her brother has started giving out more.....but that's another story!