Tell me it gets easier :(

[buckingmad]

Ftm to 16 day old baby and ebf. Finding the nights really really tough as she refuses to be put down to sleep until 4-6am. I end up almost permanently feeding her in this time and there isn’t much DH can do so I tell him to sleep but I find it so lonely. I also struggle so much to stay awake. Can’t seem to get the hang of bf lying down.

I end up getting weepy from about 5pm and can’t stomach dinner as I completely dread the nights.

Friends have said 4 weeks and 6 weeks are big turning points. Right now I just feel completely overwhelmed and like there is no end in sight.

Hi. I'm breastfeeding my second baby now, shes nearly 5 months and my advice to you is to get one of those pregnancy pillows that are like a big long rectangular shape to go all around your body . I have been feeding my second baby using this and I've been getting really good sleep as she lays on top of me and this pillow supports my head and arms whilst I'm holding her and she can't go anywhere. I think it's difficult to feedd lying down when they are so little as they can't roll on and off you as they please. I didnt feed my first lying down till he was 6 months and I was exhausted so this pillow has been a godsend to me. My baby sleeps alone from 9 till 2ish then she's in with me for the rest of the night with this pillow otherwise it would just be a cycle of pick up put down . I know you aren't supposed to cosleep but you can do it safely. Being exhausted every day really affects your mindset .

I promise it gets easier.

Sleep is crucial- most mums I know went to bed about 8pm at this stage while dad had baby and then woke at midnight. With your current routine you would still get 2 hours with your husband but you'll have had a chunk of sleep first

For me 6 weeks was the turning point, for both my babies. It wasn't like we woke up on day one of week six and suddenly it was all better, but from that point they slept longer, fed more consistently, and not for so long, and were a bit more willing to go to daddy too. We settled into loose routines. It got incrementally better. I used nipple shields for a couple of weeks with ds when my nipples were hanging on by threads, and we bf until he was one, in the end. It will get easier, I promise. Look up cluster feeding, it sounds like that's what might be happening here. And consider swaddling if you haven't tried it, it worked a treat with ds to get him down long enough that I could sleep for a couple of hours.

Also keep trying with handing baby to daddy. He's not as familiar as you, and the only way that will change is if baby spends time with him. So lots of cuddles in the day and persist with having him wind and do nappies etc to grow that relationship.

Oh lovely, I promise it does get easier. You’re right in the thick of it now, but it will get easier. Around 8/10 weeks mine slept for a stretch of around 5 whole hours which was glorious! I remember being terrified it was just a fluke, but it happened consistently for a whole week and stuck.

Have you tried white noise? We had a euan the dream sheep which was brilliant at soothing ours. They had a white noise with a heartbeat sound that our babies used to snuggle up against.

It will get better, sleep whenever and wherever you can, keep the faith that it’s just a phase and this too shall pass. You’ve got this mama 💐

For me, BF lying down and cosleeping were the only way to survive it, especially as DH worked away. I know you've said you can't get the hang of BF lying down but it may be worth trying again every few feeds or every few days. Also do it during the day, not just at night. BF to sleep in bed during the day means you also get the chance to rest, even if you don't fall asleep. I liked The Milk Meg and Kellymom for online sources of BF advice.

Do you co-sleep? My son was like this and co-sleeping is what worked for us. That way he could suckle all night long right next to me and I could doze.

You also need to get some help from your partner. Can he put baby in the sling and take her for a walk for an hour or two whilst you nap twice a day?

Just wanted to update the thread now we’re at 5 weeks. Sleep wise it’s much better. We started cosleeping which helped loads. OH gives her a bottle of formula at 10pm and I go to bed and then do the night. He then either brings me tea and breakfast for the morning feed that tends to be around 7-9am or takes her for a bottle.

Still struggling with the latch, been to 3 different clinics now and all saw latch looks good but it’s still pinching. Going to try and get a private tongue tie assessment ASAP as although she’s gaining weight fine she does have the other symptoms (dribbling during feeds, coughing, fussy, lots of hiccups after every feed) and my nipples just aren’t healing.

I could have written this in the early days. As mum to a 7 month old DD who EBF throughout I promise it gets better. It feels like it never will but it WILL

Hi hun keep you chin up, I am 8 weeks in, and I cominbed feed a mix of formula with mam bottles and breast, while breast is great it's not worth your sanity. Over .night if I am I offer breast first and then top up with formula ( I have a big hungry baby ) or dad can take a shift totally to give me a break ) I also pump a few times in the day and this adds up to a bottle that dad can give him as well .

You’re doing great. One option is to pump and use a bottle while your nipples heal (it’ll take a couple of days and the breast milk will help). I did that with my second baby at the beginning - my right nipple was blistered and bleeding and feeding from it was excruciatingly painful. So I fed the baby only from the left for a few days and pumped from the right to bottle feed, and then fed from both once nipple had healed.

About 8 weeks old both of my EBF babies got themselves into a better routine. Everyone told me 6 weeks was the magic time do I held out for that but my two sleep dodgers stretched it out until 8 weeks.
It's incredibly tough. I remember googling one day to see how long it would take me to die of sleep deprivation, I was sure it was only a matter of when, not if 😂. But they're 3 and 4 years old now and absolutely the lights of my life. It will get better. It will 100% get better.