5 year old that is scared to be alone

[DebbieTruff]

My 5 year old is PETRIFIED to be alone in any house.

He used to shout and check where we were if one of us was in another room, now he has to be in the same room as an adult. I thought it was just our house, but it’s in anyone’s house.

Bed time has become a struggle, he’s always had myself or daddy sit at the end of the bed until he fell asleep, but now he is waking in a HUGE panic which brakes my heart, my partner try’s the whole “your not a baby” etc. But you can tell our son is really scared.

We’ve decided to take away iPad time as we are unsure if he’s possibly seen something on there … (we have filters, you tube kids) but stuff always slips though. He has mentioned monsters. But I have a feeling he’s just saying that, as he can’t explain other wise why he’s scared.

Any suggestions? Do you think we need to get him further help?

Try and explain to him that it's ok to feel the way he does. Try and make him understand that it's not just him who needs reassurance at times, adults and other dc do too. This may help to ease any anxiety he has about the feelings he has
I think I'd be tempted to try a timer of sorts. Both have a clock, stopwatch or similar and say you'll be leaving the room for 1 minute then you'll be back. Gradually increasing it, but ensure you go back after the times up. Build on the trust that you are there and that he is absolutely fine on his own. Giving heaps of praise when he's managed it
Hopefully it'll be a phase and whatever's bothering him will pass quickly

I would let him sleep with you for now, he will grow out of it faster if you make him feel safe. My kids have always been able to come through if scared. Don't turn his fears into a battle. I remember being little and afraid!

No, I think you just need to reassure him, a lot. Don’t try the “you’re not a baby“ line, that is unpleasant. Either he’s picked some idea up from a book or programme, or it’s a developmental stage because it has occurred to him that being alone would make him vulnerable.

If you take away iPad time, fine, but don’t link it to his fear as it seems like a punishment.

When he goes to bed, stay in his room while he falls asleep and leave a nightlight on. Reassure him in a kindly way and leave something of your own next to the bed, for example your car keys , and say, “now last time you woke up worrying I wasn’t here. I’m always here, but just in case you are wondering m I’m going to leave my keys right here by the bed, so if you wake up you’ll see them. You know I can’t go anywhere without my keys, so you’ll know I’m right here and you can just call me, or you can cuddle your teddy and go back to sleep.”

Thank you 😀 last night wasn’t a great night, he slept in our bed.

This am we've had a long chat and we think we’ve got to the bottom of it…. We’ve explained in detail about the “green man” not being real. So far so good ❤️

Horrible to be scared I rennet being scared when I was little! We have a 4months old that sleeps all night, typical our son decides now to wake every 1/2 hours 😂

Great idea! Going to try this ❤️

Oh - a 5 month old sibling!! Presumably the worsening is linked to the baby - you are no longer as available as you were. He needs lots of reassurance, he will grow out of it. Is the baby in your room still?

The more you are with him, the more he will feel able to go away. Maybe stick to him like glue for a fortnight and see if he gets pissed off with you

4 month old - sorry, typo

How does he feel about going back to school?

He’s excited to go back, we’ve been trying a different tactic today, so far so good! 🤞🏼 Just feel bad for him! X

Ha ha yes! He seems better today after our super long chat this am 🤞🏼 We’ve gone about it a completely different way. He never seemed fussed about baby being in our room, but you never no what goes on in there little minds 😂