AIBU? Relationship and arguments!

[IGIVEUPGRRR]

Hi,

I can’t tell if the way I’m feeling is normal and just a ‘stage’ or if I’m just bit of a bitch.

My relationship just seems to be full of arguments and I’m just feeling done. My DD is 14 months old and I have done and still do everything for her pretty much by myself (apart from the odd nappy here and there). My DD has always been a terrible sleeper since being born and I’m still up 5 times per night (if not more sometimes) so I’m now feeling the hit of being constantly tired as there’s no one else to help with DD and partner doesn’t “because he works”.

I feel like my partner tells DD off for absolutely everything and always justifies it with “she has to learn”. I get that, but I feel she’s just curious about everything and wants to explore the house. As long as she’s not breaking anything and it’s not dangerous to her then I kind of let her have a little look and touch stuff because why not? Maybe I’m in the wrong for that mindset but it just feels like he expects her to behave like a 10 year old or something. Unless she’s playing with her toys or sat quietly he just seems peeved any time she tries to do anything.

I just feel so pissed off. He tells me I never tell her no or stops her from doing anything that he thinks she shouldn’t be but I do. I do so much.. almost to the point where it feels a bit over the top but I just want to keep the peace and avoid an argument.

My partner does have children from a previous relationship and sometimes I get the impression he thinks he’s absolutely right because he’s done this before. Gah!

I do so much.. almost to the point where it feels a bit over the top but I just want to keep the peace and avoid an argument

You know you're in an abusive relationship right?

What's his relationship like with his other DC and his ex?

I don’t think you sound like a bitch at all @IGIVEUPGRRR, I think you sound like a brilliant Mum to your little girl but also sound like you need some support/ help from your partner & for him to have more patience with your little one

You don’t sound like a bitch at all! I don’t understand what he wants you to tell her off for…she’s 14 months old! My nearly 1 year old is into everything in the house, obviously we keep it safe for him and tell him no if there’s something unsafe but we don’t tell him off! She’s still a baby! I’m really sorry for you and your DD, you have every right to be pissed off.

Op, my little boy is 9 months old, but we are in an exactly the same situation. I could have written that myself.
No answers, but you are not alone.

Do you feel able to have a conversation with your partner about his criticism of your parenting style?
It feels as if he thinks his views are the "right" ones. In my opinion, they're not.
Do you have any supportive adults around with whom you can discuss this?
Make a plan to ensure that you and your baby can explore life together without the excitement of it being snuffed out.

Anyone who calls the mother of his child "bitch" should, imo, be put aside.
Make a plan. Make sure you and your daughter are safe when you explain what's going to happen and what part he will be involved with.

Your parenting style seems the better one to me.Men seem to like logic, can you buy some parenting books. Check them through and when you find the chapters/paragraphs that support your style or explain why saying no all the time is not good for child development. Show them to him. It would be good if it was more then one book.

I would suggest you choose authors who have a string of letters after their name . Ie someone who is an expert in child psychology, even better if they can be male.

Actually, I suppose you could do the same with online articles and parenting sites.