FTM - what am I supposed to be doing?!

[Bunny2021]

Hi all - I’m a FTM with a 3 week old baby. He’s much more alert during the day and I don’t know what I’m meant to be during the day to keep him occupied? I’ve read about introducing tummy time which we’ve been doing but am I meant to be doing all sorts of things when he’s awake to keep him stimulated?

Also, because he’s not sleepy I find that I don’t put him down and suddenly the entire morning has gone and I’ve done nothing and am still in my dressing gown. Should I be going out and doing more?!

Just feeling slightly like I’m failing him as I don’t know what I’m doing/if what I’m doing is ok/normal.

Gaaw, he’s still so little! If he’s got reliable awake periods I’d aim for a walk each day at those times. Get yourself dressed during his first nap and then when he’s up feed and go - ideally to a coffee shop for you! Other ideas are singing him songs or reading to him, but really at this age everything is interesting so take advantage!

A quick walk around the block or park perhaps, but ime the first few weeks are about doing bare minimum and recovering.

Go for a walk. Pop him down in a bouncer and let him watch you. Talk to him while you make yourself a cuppa and some lunch.
Relax, he’ll get enough stimulation from just being with you

Lots of cuddles is pretty much it at that age when they're not eating or sleeping.

They don't need much at that age. Just being awake and taking in sounds, smells and their visual surrounding is stimulation enough. You definitely don't want an overstimulated newborn! Nothing wrong with being in your dressing gown all day either! Honestly, my advice is don't put any pressure on yourself and let you and your baby get to know each other. Lots of cuddles, you can sing to them, talk to them etc... I found that my two weren't ready for any toys or anything until about 6-8 weeks and then I would lay them on their play-mat and they'd gaze up at the toys dangling down. You're not failing, you're doing a great job!

First of all, you’re doing a great job!

What you’re doing is completely okay and normal!

Lots of cuddles, talking, smiling, maybe even pulling funny faces, singing, playing music, reading.

My newborn is 14 weeks old tomorrow and the biggest advice I can give you is to do what you feel is right. If you want to stay at home and interact and learn with your baby, cuddle, stay in your dressing gown, have special time together, then do that! Don’t feel pressured into having to do something amazing each day or to go out all of the time. You’ll find that in your company, your baby has the best time wherever you are

We used a black and white book in those first few weeks which our little boy loved, especially when nappy changing or laying down, I’d hold it there for him to absorb, he also liked his playmat and one of the toys crinkles so we used that too, reading, but most of all he liked and still does like is our faces!

Keep being a lovely Mummy

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It’s really reassuring to know that this is perfectly normal. I really appreciate your responses xx

Perfectly normal! Mine is 11 weeks and only just into a routine. During his awake windows (1.5hrs max) he plays in his bouncer which has a toy bar for him to practice grabbing on, lies under a baby gym he loves looking up at, we have a high contrast book I read to him, tummy time of course and go out for little walks

But as others have said, at 3 weeks they really don't need much stimulation, just being awake and looking around and at you is enough

Aww you're doing amazing! I used to pop mine in her little bouncer chair & watch me do stuff around the house, on the play mat, singing/reading & loads of walks!

Yeah at 3 weeks you've not got a lot of time to "do" much with them once you've changed them, fed them, got them to sleep, it's time to change them, feed them and get them to sleep again! A few little walks out, if you fancy them, can be nice, but in general take things easy, don't try and do loads with them as they'll end up wildly overstimulated and then get angry...

Aww I remember feeling the same with my little boy who's now 5 months. A bit of tummy time, walks, black and white sensory cards and watching you/interaction is perfect in between sleeps.

Look up the recommended awake windows for your baby and start to settle them later in the duration. I found it helpful to have that as a guide for sleep times. You're doing great

My 3 month old spent ten minutes earlier looking at a glass of water. The light was hitting it and the water looked all shimmery, she loved it. They really don’t need much to entertain them!

Aww you are such a good mum for asking this!

I found it was best not to overstimulate them when they’re little. All babies are different of course but when literally everything is new the world must be very overwhelming. As previous posters have said, he’ll be happy just watching you and taking in his surroundings.

The playmats with little dangling toys are great for keeping them occupied, and we had a little bouncy chair with a toy bar that played music. He loved that.

But for now you should just try to enjoy cuddling and get as much sleep as you can. He’ll be running you ragged in no time

Mine gets stimulation just from being talked to and discovering the smells and sights around the home and garden. We didn't leave the house until about 8 weeks PP other than for local walks in the pram. Several days a week the first few weeks I didn't get dressed so I could just focus on skin to skin and responsive feeding.

Such a lovely time! Congratulations!

As long as your talking to him, smiling, singing, general engagement that you'll be doing anyway.
We were just getting through our day at 3 weeks. If you can manage to get out a walk then it's good for fresh air, helps with sleeping etc but it's finding your feet at this stage. There's no pressure at all to be doing any activities to keep him occupied. His interaction with you is the most important thing just now.

My baby boy is 5 weeks old and one of the best things I have is a fold out black and white book. He will lay on his sheepskin looking at it for up to 30 mins at a time. He won’t be put down otherwise and sleeps on me, so having something to entertain him and be hands free for 30 mins is a life saver!

You are doing everything fine. All newborns want is to be near their mums. Make the most of having an adoring listener!

I used to feel a bit rubbish in pjs for hours so found a quick shower before my husband went to work made me feel so much better. Also a daily walk made me feel good.

Try and enjoy these moments. They pass so quick. Don't doubt yourself sounds like you are doing a great job.

With first baby I was really worried about doing enough. I was panicking about whether I could drive at 5 weeks so I could get her to adventure babies so that she wasn’t ‘left behind’ by her NCT group. She wanted to sleep through every bloody session and was wildly over stimulated.

This time round I’m planning on taking big on eto preschool in my pjs and watching box sets on the sofa each day!

Awww I member that time. Your doing great, and my advice is enjoy it and rest x

Cuddles, swinging chair bouncer thing, bouncer while I had a quick shower then she usually fell asleep. Tummy time on those roll things when she was a bit older I think 🤔 can't member exactly age. Used to pop her under play mat for a bit and lay next to her.

I used to go out quite a bit after 6 weeks due to csection xx