Confused about baby standing

[zxcvbnn]

My baby will stand up whilst holding onto the sofa, but doesn’t know how to sit back down again. I tend to hover behind and catch him as he falls back, as I don’t want him to hurt himself by landing too hard on his bum. But how will he ever learn to sit back down on his own?

Is this honestly what everyone else is doing then? I feel so clueless!

Yes, although I wasn't trying to catch them or putting a yoga mat on the floor. And I have wooden floors!

When they are learning to walk they are always falling and bumping into things. You are going to have to steel yourself or he is going to be too frightened to do anything.

Have you any friends with similar age babies? If not, then you could join some baby groups as seeing slightly older babies will reassure you.

Is this honestly what everyone else is doing then? I feel so clueless!

Yep.

Obviously if I see him flying head first off the sofa I step in but mostly I let him get on with it, it’s only by falling that he’s learnt how to balance/improve posture and things.

I have almost 5 year old twins OP, there are lot’s of bumps, bruises and falls. Your baby is learning to sit, that’s exactly what he’s doing. Leave him to it. After a few (hundred) times of landing on his bum he’ll learn to lower his legs. Crying is natural as he’s given himself a fright/is frustrated that he can’t do it yet but he’ll get there.

@zxcvbnn don't worry! He's perfectly fine! Falling is how they learn

I was just worried in your post if he was just falling straight backwards and hitting his head all the time

Is this honestly what everyone else is doing then? I feel so clueless! don't worry! It's been a tricky year+ with covid so it's been hard to learn from other parents. Yes I think most people let them have a few bumps at this stage.

If he was hitting his head a lot id intervene

I think too much hovering around babies is not necessary. My mil is like that when we visit and it just means that my daughter doesn't do any thing because my mil is hovering and doing everything for her. It's annoying to watch. I'd rather my daughter fell back/had some topples etc, it means she's exploring and learning basically how to be a human! Yes there will be tears sometimes, but mostly shock, and babies are easy to distract/ get over things very quickly xx

You must know this by now but just in case the only times you really need to worry is if they breathe in and pause before crying. That's when they really hurt themselves. The bigger the pause, the worse if there isn't a pause, they're generally ok-ish

Little aside: when I had DD2 I used that pause to gather my thoughts: is the other child safe where they are or do they need to be moved first? What kind of injury is it? What kind of care does it need? once the crying restarts it can be very emotional just hearing it

I feel so bad just sitting there whilst he looks at me and cries. I think he expects me to help and is confused when I don’t!

You help him but just don't make too much fuss about it or pick him up smile, coo, say nice things, chat a bit

@zxcvbnn

I feel so bad just sitting there whilst he looks at me and cries. I think he expects me to help and is confused when I don’t!

You're sooooo overthinking this.

Just go "whoops a daisy! Up we get" and then help him stand up...

@00100001 I meant he looks at me and cries when he’s standing up and wants to sit down and I don’t help him!

You just encourage him, “go on then, pop yourself down”. Job done.

[quote zxcvbnn]@00100001 I meant he looks at me and cries when he’s standing up and wants to sit down and I don’t help him! [/quote]
But you're helping him by letting him figure it out himself. Always being there to catch him or help him sit down doesn't teach him the skills he requires. If you let him work it out by himself he will learn a lot faster what works and how to do it when there is no one there to do it for him.

Agreed that by encouraging him to do it you’re helping “go on…that’s it!” Etc

My MIL hovers around my kids and it drives me mental. Theyve started telling me again that they need to pee and expect me to take them to the toilet, help them with their trousers etc all cos MIL hovers and causes a massive drama whenever the simplest of tasks need done.

She moaned one time she hadnt gotten anything done in the house cos she’d been following them around the garden all day

Babies and young children learn how to risk assess situations and work out wether they are able to do something by trying it for themselves, if you are there to do it for him every time then he's never going to learn that. He'll soon learn to get down gently, knees first etc, but he has to learn how not to do it first.
If your this stressed about him falling onto his bum then your going to struggle when he learns to stand up and walk.

This is why they have lovely squidgey bums - extra cushioning! It won't hurt him, just let him plop down.

Ok thanks everyone. I’m going to let him plop tomorrow!

@AColdDuncanGoodhew

Agreed that by encouraging him to do it you’re helping “go on…that’s it!” Etc

My MIL hovers around my kids and it drives me mental. Theyve started telling me again that they need to pee and expect me to take them to the toilet, help them with their trousers etc all cos MIL hovers and causes a massive drama whenever the simplest of tasks need done.

She moaned one time she hadnt gotten anything done in the house cos she’d been following them around the garden all day

Oh god, this is what I'm experiencing with my mil at the moment but my daughter only 11 months. Can't stand the thought of her following around when she's older. She even implied to me that she thought it was neglect to clean a babies high chair, as that would mean you weren't playing with them 😒

So it's not going well today. He just clings onto the sofa and won't let go, then starts crying and doesn't stop until I eventually step in and help him lower himself down. He's always had quite a cautious nature, and it's like he's scared of falling. I'm at a loss

@miltonj urgh! I feel for you, it’s soul destroying. I’ve said on numerous occasions to let them be but she doesn’t so I just ignore it now if she’s moaning about having no time.

She’ll occasionally say things “do you think…” usually relating to me not hovering around in some way and if it’s a direct question i’ll answer her, nah they’re almost 5 they’re more than capable of doing X on their own, or nope i’m not hovering around watching their every move.

Then help him for now a few times, for a few days, until he eventually figures it out himself. This really isn't as big a deal as you're making it out to be, he will of course eventually learn to do it.

@zxcvbnn

So it's not going well today. He just clings onto the sofa and won't let go, then starts crying and doesn't stop until I eventually step in and help him lower himself down. He's always had quite a cautious nature, and it's like he's scared of falling. I'm at a loss

You need to let him go, he will cry because he’s frustrated and he doesn’t know what to do.

Why don’t you try helping him from start to finish a few times, loads of praise etc, talk him through it, bend his wee knees for him etc.

A lot of what you’re saying sounds like more of an anxiety for you, and while I get that you don’t want to see him hurting, you need to accept that he is going to fall, have wee tumbles and bruises because he’s learning.

I will watch some videos on YouTube, but I assume the ideal way for him to get down is to bend his knees rather than fall backwards onto his bum. So I need to teach him to bend his knees and go from standing to kneeling position...

Bums and nappies are pretty padded, he’ll figure it out