My DS is 4 months old and I’m lucky that both GP’s love him and want to be involved. They both live near so can easily visit. My issue is that my PIL drive me nuts and I don’t look forward to spending time with them. I feel like such a horrible person for feeling this way. Is this normal and does it go away?
For context, my PIL are kind and we get along but I’ve always found them intense, eg strict with timings, texting if your 2 mins late, commenting to DH that they haven’t heard much from him when he phones ( DH usually calls weekly, they never phone him) wanting to plan things 4 months in advance. They also haven’t a lot going on in their lives, they do everything together, have few friends and family. I’ve always felt they’ve high expectations of DH. He usually visits once a week or at least calls but I’ve always had the impression they want more. I used to see them every 3weeks or so and we get on well with no past issues.
With having DS I now see them twice a week and this is where I sound horrible. They haven’t done anything wrong but I really wish it was just once a week!
They either come to mine for a few hours or occasionally we go to theirs. Everything they do gets on my nerves!
When they interact with DS they repeatedly pass him back and forth, call out his name and make noises at him, it’s always at level 100, I think it’s too much for him as while he doesn’t cry he’s always fussier later in the day.
They keep buying things for DS which is natural and we are grateful but it’s getting a little too much. We’ve tonnes from friends and family already and vouchers we’ve not yet spent, we always thank them but I’m now feeling that they are doing it as a way to see him more as they will get something and say, we’ve got this, we were thinking of dropping it round on xxx.
They’ve offered to take DS for an afternoon or a day so I can have a break. This is a lovely offer but I feel it’s too lengthy a period as he is EBF and is still feeding every 2 or so hours. Ive thanked them and said we will be happy with this when he is older say 7-8 months and is weaned so needs less breast milk. My issue is they have asked at least 10 times now and my FIL has even taken me and DH aside separately to mention it so I now don’t really see it as a genuine offer of help but as them pushing for more time with DS.
The other issue I have is that when I see them they are clearly not interested in me or even DH. I’ll make small talk but then conversation shifts to something they have done or to DS and I just don’t enjoy it, I had a job interview the other day and they’ve completely forgotten about it.
I hope it’s just hormones and it will go away. Just needed to vent I suppose and see if anyone else has felt similar. I’m not going to say anything IRL, I just can’t seem to shake off these feelings!