Quick - potty training advice needed (Long and tedious - but v. important to me !)

[Wheelybug]

I have been attempting to potty train dd since she was 2.6 (she is now 2.10) - she has had the main skills (holding it, knowing when she needs to go) but has refused point blank to sit on a potty or toilet. So, we have tried a few times on and off. Tried every sort of bribe going and nothing has worked.

Yesterday she asked to wear a dress to pre-school (she is obssessed with wearing dresses but I have insisted she wears trousers since she started in sept) so I told her she could next week if she uses the potty/toilet. So I have taken her to buy a special dress and she really wants to try now.

So far so good.

LAst night she decided to try the potty - and did a, ahem, parp. So I made a big fuss of this and gave her a chocolate because this really was a huge break through for us. So today (bar 9-1.30 when she was at pre-school when I didnt' risk pants !) she keeps sitting on the potty, not producing anything (other than parps which she is very proud of) but insists on a sweet each time.

So, my question - given that her just sitting on the potty is a huge breaktrhough do I accept she is just going to eat a LOT of sweets today (the only sweets I had in were terrys orange segments I won in a raffle so they aren't small sweets) and then tomorrow try and reduce it ? I keep saying the next one is for a wee but then she asks to sit on the potty and because its such a breakthrough I give in to sweets.

Thoughts ????? Thanks.

I think introduce new rules tomorrow and buy some much smaller sweets!

Actually I did just get her down to half a sweet so thats a step in the right direction !!

and if I keep eating them too we'll run out soon

Give her a piece of the segment not the whole one which reduces how many sweets she eats and tomorrow I would buy a pack of chocolate buttons and give her one for doing a wee.

I know you have given her more today and only for sitting on the potty but as the mum you can change the rules you know

I did this with ds (only offered one buttonn for a wee though) and after a while as the weeing in the potty became normal he stopped asking for a chocolate every time as he would forget or be and I never offered after the first couple of days.

Eventually after a few weeks I just distracted him if he asked for a chocolate or explained that mummy and daddy didn't get a chocolate every time they did a wee. A lot of the time he accepted this but if he insisted I gave him a chocolate button anyway. Over time the chocolate as a reward just faded away .

Thansk Lazycow -w e have got it down to half a piece which means she's sitting on the potty twice as much so I'm guessing thats a good thing (even if all her teeth fall out !). She's accepted going down to half so hopefully tomorrow I can reduce.

Am just so pleased she's sitting on the potty as there has been total refusal up till now.

I would substitute the sweets for stickers.

Also the reason she is probably taking so long is because she is confused. Get rid of all pull ups during awake time/ nappies. Only put her in knickers. Prepare for lots of wet and dirty pants for a week, then she will realise that it is better to wee/poo on the potty or toilet. Pullups provide no incentive to be dry or clean and tends to make children lazy or oblivious.

I use the no bottoms at all for first 3 days, then just knickers and skirt (remove tights indoors/nursery) Then once control and timing are good try all bottom clothes.

My dd is 22mths and started training last week by this method. Very few accidents daily but has had the odd bad day with several accidents. None yesterday or today and three dry days in a row last week.

I agree with Tori - Stickers and no pullups. Have you let her choose some pretty "big-girl" pants?

When we did ds1 after the inital few days the only accident we had was when we confused him by putting him in pullups for a car journey.

Piddlepads are good for cars and buggies.

Good luck.

Thanks Tori/lovetosleep - I really don't think we are a 'normal' case as we have tried everything, dd is VERY STUBBORN. Sadly stickers don't work here, I have tried them lots of times - as well as all the usual methods (we have peppa pig pants, fifi pants, disney princess pants, fairy pants, pink pants, purple pants, flowery pants). I have just had to leave it for her to take the lead.

I know what you're saying re: pull ups but I haven't been confusing her - it was just that she decided she was going to wear pants at 8.30 this morning - preschool started at 9. I didn't really think pre-school would appreciate me turning up with her in pants. It will be pants from now on, she's not due back to pre-school until Monday so if we're still continuing by then she'll be in pants then.

Just remember as well that nursery staff are more than used to accidents, so even if she goes through several pairs of pants they won't mind. I would ask them to take her when they take other children. This reinforces the 'everyone does it' philosiphy and makes her realise how grown up she is being.
To save on washing and clothes shortage! I find it easier to put mine in skirts and tights and just get the nursery staff to remove tights while she is there. Usually this will mean just wet knickers instead of those and trousers or tights IYSWIM.

Fair enough using the chocolate if nothing else works, its only until using the potty/toilet is well established. Just means lots of good teeth cleaning!

i had the same problem with my ds,totally scared of the potty. so i put him in pants, i went through 3-4 weeks of wetting himself and pooing but last weekend it just seemed to click in his little head and we have had no accidents since, so i would say hang in there and you WILL get there in the end.

Just a quick update - LOTS of success today, barely an accident (1 wee, 2 poo -need to work on the poo !). Didn't often ask for sweets today just did it (but I did buy some smaller chocs for when she did ask). We even managed to go to waitrose today and she asked for a wee so we had to climb up 2 flights of stairs to the staff toilets where she did a wee. Am a v. happy mummy today (although will be skint because she's remembered all the things I've tried to bribe her with over the months but its worth it !!).

Thanks for the tips for nursery - it is a pre-school so whilst they are happy to help they do expect a certain amount of independence (taking down own pants etc which dd is quite proficient at - an advantage of having got to this point so late I think !) so I might do first week of dress with socks. Thankfully she doesn't feel the cold too much.