Sorry for the long post and rambling. I'm a Mum of 3 - a newly turned 4yo, a 2yo (as of next week) and a 12wo baby. I thought I'd be great at parenting and doing life as a family of 5 (with my OH), but I feel like I'm failing miserably. Life was how I expected it to be prior to my 3rd baby in May and it was perfect when he was born in the middle of May. Then everything turned rubbish when he was 2 days old - my MIL started her shit with me & OH (bizarrely she chose when I just gave birth to bring up some stuff instead of months ago when it seemed to be a problem - all Covid / no visiting issues 😴). Because of this she completely ruined, tore apart and burst the newborn bubble in my first week of being a new Mummy again. It caused so much rift between me & OH I seriously contemplated calling it a day because I could not bare the constant aggravation and tenseness when I'd just had a baby. I haven't felt right or myself since this - I just feel hopeless, lost and feel like I've lost my spark and that my children aren't getting everything they need from me as Mum. Add into the mix, my 4yo's behavior for the last few weeks (think tantrums over simple things, hitting and kicking and bedtime being a nightmare). I've had my daughter referred because she isn't ticking every single box for her age bracket and that's a worry. We have a sudden and unexpected time of worry with money. It just seems to be one thing after another and I'm genuinely thinking how much more I can take. I feel like I'm waking up being a Mummy (which I love most of the time and I'm so grateful for my children) and almost being a slave and not living life. I'm living off not a lot of sleep so I'm pretty tired. I feel like everyone is taking/needing a piece of me and there's nothing left. I have no one to offload to at all, so I just put a smile on my face and get on with it. My health visitor on every single visit to me asks me how I am and how am I finding everything as its a busy life right now (I've had 3 babies in quick succession and they're all so young), but I just say it's hectic and I get on with it (like I'm sure most of you do). I'm so scared of letting my barrier down because I feel like I'm failing at the one job I thought I'd be perfect at and I'm embarrassed and feel I've left my OH and children down. I'm just not sure what to do anymore or how to feel like the old me and I'm not even really sure why I'm writing this post or what I expect, but just that I can get some stuff off my chest to those who don't know me.