First of all, thanks for taking the time to read my rant/request of advice, your comments are most welcome but please be kind, as I am feeling very sensitive at the moment, so without further ado I shall explain.
So for the past 2 years my DD has struggled with anxiety. First of all it began when she went to nursery and had trouble with me leaving, which I expected as I am a stay at home mum. Luckily my sister in law worked at the same nursery and was able to coax her in and made her very comfortable. In time she began to love it and made great relationships with other children. She then started school last September and was very excited to start, but with Covid causing so much disruption she began to struggle with her anxiety again. At home, her dad and I have had some struggles within our relationship due to long term Mental health which have lead to DD becoming very clingy. She is very switched on and is a very deep thinker so she's just absorbing all this and quietly fretting about it. Once schools opened again, DD hated leaving me and sobbed every morning as she was coaxed in to school by her teachers. She had days where she would sob to them "I want mummy, I miss my mummy". During this time, my late father, who was suffering with MND, was progressively becoming more paralysed and my Mother just couldn't manage by herself but refused to have him admitted to hospital or a care home for reasons that would take all day to explain, so I offered to move in and stay overnight. This allowed me to be on hand for general care aswell as cleaning and changing dads bed etc which occurred 4-5 times daily. Obviously, this had a massive impact on DD, who, I should point out, sleeps with her older sister every night and has done since she was 2, had a real issue with me going to my parents home, even though I'd only ever leave our family home in the late evening. Sadly, in June this year, my father lost his battle to the evil disease that is MND, which had a huge impact on the entire family. Given her previous history of anxiety, the school became very concerned about how upset DD was becoming and that she just wanted mummy, all day long. We gave her a worry monster that, when she told somebody her worry, they would write it on a piece of paper and then she would unzip the monsters mouth and it would eat all her worries overnight. This has helped to ease her symptoms a little but she is still very insecure. She is terrified of something happening to her and everyone close to her, she will constantly ask things like "mummy, what will happen if I scratch my bum and then scratch my head?!" 🤦♀️ ill reassure her that nothing bad would happen to her but that she should always wash her hands after scratching her bottom etc and she will ask, "why what will happen if I don't wash my hands?!", showing clear signs of anxiety. She won't even go into the bathroom to brush her teeth without me being next to her, even if im only in the next room, all lights are on or its daylight. Given the circumstances of the year she's had with covid and her grandads passing its not surprising that she has some anxiety, but it seems to have stepped up a notch. For the past week or so she and I have been dog sitting for my brother whilst they are on holiday, as one of the dogs is expecting babies 😍. Since staying here, DD has begun taking deep breaths all the time, saying she 'needs to' do it. She can't explain why she needs to though. I googled it and found that it could be related to her anxiety or it could be a sign of Asthma or allergies. Then I came across a condition known as sighing syndrome that basically said that, some children develop this kind of thing when they are young and that over time, it can become a habit, so they then do it without realising and it can be a lifelong condition. I was talking to my mum about it and DD overheard and sobbed having heard that it may become a habit and went into full on panic mode. Despite trying to reassure her that her grandma and I were just talking about it and that, as long as she wasn't taking deep breaths on purpose, it would go away. Well, big mistake, she then couldn't stop taking deep breaths and was getting more and more anxious about it. We tried everything we could to attempt to distract her in order to calm her down and eventually she settled down a bit. At my brothers house, I asked her if anything was worrying her and she just said that she doesn't ever want to be away from me, that she always wants me to be by her side. She also said that she hates it when I go to grandmas for tea on my own (my few hrs of respite) on a Tuesday because she misses me . On top of all this she then tells me that she doesn't think I play with her enough. When I explained that, at the current time, I am caring for, not only her, but 4 dogs and a cat, trying to keep the house clean and tidy, trying to organise a memorial for my dad, trying to juggle my time to ensure that we still get to see my hubby and step-children, alongside shopping, doing the washing (including bing bags full from home) and cleaning up dog mess, cooking etc, when I actually do manage to sit down, èthe last thing I want to do is play dollies. I realise she is only 5 and that she doesn't understand the way things work, but she really hurt me today with what she said and the guilt I continously feel, for all the weight she quite clearly carries day after day, is so overwhelming. My patience is getting very short and I keep finding myself snapping at her when she is nagging me to watch a YouTube video of a cat licking a window! I'm really struggling and I don't know how to handle it at the minute, if anyone has any advice or experience they wish to share, I'd be so grateful for your input here.
Thanks so much guys, I look forward to reading your comments xxx