4 year old doesn’t want to swim… advice please

[Lemonnhoney]

Hi, my just turned 4 year old is not interested in swimming at all. Loves to go to the pool and faf about, go down small slide, but will not show any interest in trying to swim.. getting his legs up, going underwater, floating..

Signed him up for a swimming course this week but it’s not going great. He doesn’t want to go and refuses to do most of the stuff there!

I don’t want to push him but want him to build his confidence and think it’s important he learns as we go to a lot of rivers (I swim a lot) and for his own safety..

Any advice..? thinking of encouraging him to finish this week then try take him swimming every week and just hope for the best!

IME this is all just about confidence in the water. Patience is your friend.

Will he lie down in the bath and lay his head back so his ears get wet? And lie on his front and blow bubbles? Keep the bath quite cool, don't put bubble bath in it, make it deeper every few times you do it. Also Get him to lie down and feel his legs float up, push toys under water and watch them bob up. Get him a snorkel and let him look at things in the water in the bath.

When that's all good, get him a proper float and one of those long pool foam things (can't remember the name) and some of those dive toys and a watering can and let him play in the shallow and of a baby swimming pool. Don't pressure him AT ALL to go deeper. Let him walk in the water, encourage him to jump up and down, play with the toys, let him rest his arms or legs on the float while he's seated on the ground of the very shallow baby pool. Give him a piggy back. Stay in physical contact most of the time or in physical reach all the time, even when he seems happy.

I'd ask to defer the swimming lessons and return to it when he is more comfortable in the water.

Thank you for the response.. yep I guess it’s patience!! It’s just hard and I’m blaming myself that he isn’t progressing… but aware that the pressure will also make it worse for him.

We never go in the deep pool and I’ll just let him walk about in the shallow pool the whole time. Thanks for the suggestions about the bath time I’ll definitely do that!

Trick him into doing things?
e.g. Swoosh him around head above water. Pretend to be animals. then pretend to be dolphin with ups and downs?
Sit on the side, who can kick the biggest splash?
That kind of thing?

If old enough, then bribery/rewards?
We'll do 10 mins in the big pool. If you do good kicking then we'll go to the fun pool afterwards.

We used to do the ‘ sink down slightly until your mouth is under the water and blow bubbles’ progressing to blowing bubbles with the nose, then whole face in the water to blow bubbles.

It has to be a game at first. Who can walk across the pool the quickest, starfish floats with me supporting their backs. Ds1 particularly loved jumping in to me and create the biggest splash he could.

Though between the ages of 2 and 3 he point blank refused to even go to the pool.

Though he loved paddling at the seaside!

Most beginners swimming courses are really good at persuading kids to enjoy being in the water ready for swimming (or the ones I've seen are). Are you allowed to watch what they are trying out with him? (Some of ours get one-to-one help from slightly older competent swimmers.)

My son had no interest in riding a bike until he was 8. Hes now 11 and there is nothing he would rather be doing. The more i forced it and bribed him to learn the more turned off he got. We just stopped. And one day when he decided he was ready he just got on a friends bike and rode it.

A friends boy was the same with swimming. And the little sibling swam and had lessons no problem. Parents are both sporty and confident. They recently did their end of primary swimming lessons and with no parental input and just the class teacher and swimming teacher he cracked it. His classmates were so proud of him and how far he came in a week. He was ready and there was no parent child power struggle.

So, sometimes encouragement works and some times it doesn't. They dont come with a text book. Maybe his talents and interests will lie elsewhere. Go easy on him and yourself.

Honestly - He's only 4. If he's happy just playing around in the pool at the moment (faffing about as you say) then I'd say let him do that for the time being. Maybe give up on the formal lessons for the time being and just concentrate on letting him have fun and building his confidence in water in general.
He has a long time yet to learn - be patient.

Try to establish what he doesn’t like. It took me ages to work out it was the sensation of water going into myDD ears which was why she wouldn’t put her head in the water. My first DD was a water baby my second didn’t start formal lessons until age 5, I just took her to play most weeks and then aged 5 she raced through 7stages in 2yrs. I’d keep it fun, lots games, stress free short sessions frequently and hopefully after another year you may see a difference. She loves swimming now, so keep persisting as like you we live near water and swim regularly.