Hello, i have have a niece who's turning one this august. she's my brothers' and his ex's child. She's been living with her mother since coming from the hospital and my brother always travels to their house to see her and deliver necessities for her. The mother is organising a small family gathering for my niece's bday soon, it's a small gathering because she says she's "not prepared" to expose my baby niece to a large group of people.
The problem is, she says that "as the mother" she feels that she has to be the one to make her daughter's birthday cake and she felt insulted and thought that it was rude of us (the paternal grandma) to make another birthday cake for my niece.
My mother (the paternal grandma) does not have any intention of being rude to her grandchild's mother by doing this, this is just what we are used to doing at birthday parties. In fact, we welcome this behaviour as it's more food for the guests to eat (or take extra cake home after the party) and it is also jus another way for us to celebrate my niece's bday. We are grateful for her life and want to celebrate.
Although we explained this to the mother (my niece's mum), she says she "understands us" but she would still like us to understand where she's coming from and that she wants to be the only one to make a cake for her baby.
What are your thoughts on this? To be honest, i feel that my niece's mother is quite narrow minded-and selfish, or should we just ignore this and let her do this for daughters 1st bday, and maybe change the way we do things for her 2nd bday. However, i'm not sure what reason she'll give then.