School starter can't hold a pen yet

[Indecisivelurcher]

My ds goes to school in Sept and can't yet hold a pencil properly. He holds it in his fist rather than tripod. He's not really colouring things in yet as a result, much less writing. I have been trying to do things to improve his hand strength but not seen much change yet. Gross motor seems OK to me, although he's a slight boy rather than stocky and strong. I know it's a development thing but I am a bit concerned he'll be starting school in Sept unable to colour or write. Should I be worrying?! And what more can I do, in any case?!

Definitely look up fine motor control activities to build this up, google or use Pinterest. Make play dough each day it’s great for pinching rolling and sculpting using all the little finger muscles. Have him thread beads on string and have lots of practise with colouring books and writing his name!

I have been doing all this for a few months. Play dough. Threading. Pegs. Mark making. Cutting. Not every day by any means but pretty regularly. I am not seeing any improvement yet really.

I wouldn’t worry- he will get there. Keep on with what you are doing, lots of fine (and gross) motor skills and hand strength. He definitely won’t be the only one. Is he young for year? Can he do zips etc?

Part of the issue is that because he can't do things, he doesn't want to. So he can't draw so won't. He finds scissors difficult so will rarely do a cutting activity that I've devised.

Cooking is good. Would he enjoy that?
The gross motor skills feed in so lots of climbing etc will help too. Honestly though - loads can’t manage a tripod grip at 4!
Do you have worries about him generally?

@Indecisivelurcher

Part of the issue is that because he can't do things, he doesn't want to. So he can't draw so won't. He finds scissors difficult so will rarely do a cutting activity that I've devised.

My dd wanted to try using scissors when she was pretty young (maybe about 2ish). She had no hope of following a line but liked snipping so I just used to give her strips of scrap paper that she snipped into tiny pieces. Seemed pointless to me but she enjoyed it.

It was a phase that lasted quite a long time. Later, she was ready to actually cut pictures out of comics etc.

If your ds lacks confidence because he struggles with scissors, that might be a good starting point. You can save nice creative scissor activities until he's got the skills to tackle them.

The whole point of reception is getting children ready to write, so no need to panic yet.

Google loop scissors, he might be more able to use those (most reception classes have them)

Don't worry. His teacher will know how to help him.

Don't worry. He won't be the only one.
Reception helps to develop this.

This was my son, he has a December birthday too. He’s now going into year three and his handwriting certainly isn’t the best but it’s by no means the worst in the class either and his SpaG is great. In reception and year one his handwriting was mentioned and we kept working on it but now his teachers are happy with where he is.

Don't worry as he won't be the only one, but if you want to get some things to help Nexus have some amazing stuff (see [[https://learnplaynexus.com/p2p-for-literacy/]]
It isn't cheap but it's really good quality (I don't work for them - just have seen the stuff in use!)

Sorry that link doesn't work! But Google nexus play.

If he won't try drawing because of poor pencil control and fear of failure, I'd suggest a 3 pronged approach

Firstly, carry on with activities to develop fine motor skills and hand strength. Loads of ideas on pinterest.

Secondly, give him opportunities for large scale mark making eg fill an empty washing up bottle with water and (if we get a warm dry day) squirt the water to make pictureas and patterns on the patio or pavement. Get some pavement chalks; they can be easier than pencils, pencil crayons or felt tips because they're chunkier.

Thirdly, get over the worry about pictures not turning out how he wants by encouraging him to use pencils to create patterns rather than representational pictures. If you just take a pencil for a walk and let it wander over a page, you get a scribble which actually looks really pretty if different sections are coloured in with different colours.

Google Alistair Bryce-Clegg for more ideas.

If he's starting into reception there will be plenty of other kids not using the tripod grip.
If you're at a particularly fancy school then things might appear skewed to you because of the cohort, but in general I wouldn't worry at all if your child is not writing going into reception. When I was teaching y1 and reception they were expected to write a sentence with lots of help by the end of reception/ start of y1. I'd say I would only start panicking about tripod grip at mid/ end year 1.
I think I remember that it only gets really hard to change at about age 7.
If you're doing all those great fine motor skills then that's great. Anything that he enjoys just keep doing it. Could you get one of those little sets of fine motor pincers etc and try transferring things?
Learning Resources Helping Hands Fine Motor Tool Set Toy, Fine Motor and Sensory Toy, Fine Motor Games, Ages 3+ amazon.co.uk/dp/B00I0CEAZG/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_REA3KPZ45R9N6B6A48K6?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]]
We used to use these with more sensory things like those little water beads or using the pipettes to mix coloured water.
If he's still not using a tripod grip in a years time, you can get pencil grips that basically force their fingers into the right position, but I think it's more important right now for him to enjoy himself and come to it in his own time rather than get discouraged.

Boys tend to be later with this than girls, and a fist grip is entirely Normal at this stage. Keep doing what you are (play doh, threading games, etc) and it will come.

My son is 5 in September (so reception started) and still prefers fist grip over tripod. He can do tripod and will happily colour and draw things but still prefers the fist approach!

He will get there!

I’m 41 - I still hold my pen in a fist and have never mastered a tripod grip. My handwriting is lovely…

(I’m not being sarcastic, it is nice (

@cariadlet

If he won't try drawing because of poor pencil control and fear of failure, I'd suggest a 3 pronged approach

Firstly, carry on with activities to develop fine motor skills and hand strength. Loads of ideas on pinterest.

Secondly, give him opportunities for large scale mark making eg fill an empty washing up bottle with water and (if we get a warm dry day) squirt the water to make pictureas and patterns on the patio or pavement. Get some pavement chalks; they can be easier than pencils, pencil crayons or felt tips because they're chunkier.

Thirdly, get over the worry about pictures not turning out how he wants by encouraging him to use pencils to create patterns rather than representational pictures. If you just take a pencil for a walk and let it wander over a page, you get a scribble which actually looks really pretty if different sections are coloured in with different colours.

Google Alistair Bryce-Clegg for more ideas.

Thanks that's a good idea!

Am reassured by all of these responses, thanks folks!

Play doh, Lego DUPLO.

BUT my son was like this. It took until the end of reception for the grip to come, months of painful coaxing to write and now at the end of year 1 he's as good as average peers and considered 'above average' at reading and phonics!

He is possibly being investigated for dyspraxia as has some other potential symptoms. He gets everything in the end but has to try harder.

DS started reception being able to read fluently but he couldn’t write. At all. Didn’t like colouring, didn’t like even trying to hold a pencil. By October he was writing his name, then by the January he was really
motoring.

My DD, starting this year, is the opposite - no interest in reading at all (she can read her name) but she can hold a pencil and draw. They really do just all go at their own pace - different personalities etc.

Don't worry about buying expensive tools to use unless it gets recommended later down the line.

Plenty of fine motor skills work - threading cotton reels/beads/buttons onto string or wool.

Play with play dough to build finger snd hand strength.

Instead of buying tweezers etc, use a peg to pick up small things and transfer from one bowl to another - screwed up balls of paper are just as effective as Pom poms.

Oobleck in a tray is a great way to try mark making - use fingers or tools inc lolly sticks, a fork etc.

Our eldest wasn't great - I remember the first parents evening, the reception teacher telling us he had poor mark making skills, and suggesting homework. My husband was pretty indignant - he was 4 years old, and would get there and would not be putting him under any form of pressure. Suddenly, at about 8 or 9, he developed beautiful handwriting.

He is due to GCSE results next week - expecting 7-9 on all subjects. He is still generally a bit cack handed, he can't use a potato peeler (but its great fun to watch him try)

All kids are different and develop at different stages. Please don't worry, he will be fine. Let him enjoy making things and drawing. He will get there.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, DD1 starts in September too and one of the Little girls from her preschool is not talking much / wearing napppes yet. They are all at such different stages: if there are any issues school will let you know and advise how to support l. Just enjoy these last few week pre school xxx

Why haven't preschool raised this as an issue?

@Oblomov21 preschool did mention it. At the time I couldn't see a problem / didn't worry as he's only little. But as starting school has rolled round and he's not 'naturally' improved, I've started to question whether I ought to be concerned.