My child wants to show me everything

[Floopyandtired]

It’s exhausting. My 3.9 year old wants me to look at literally every single thing he has/does etc. Before he eats every mouthful of food he holds it up and says “mummy look” before putting it on his mouth. If we’re building blocks every time he picks a block up he says “mummy look” and I have to acknowledge it before he puts the block on the tower. I honestly think he says “mummy look” over a thousand times a day. It’s relentless. I have a 9 week old and I’m sure that’s a contributing factor, but how can I respond kindly without encouraging him to keep doing it? After the 80th spoon of cereal I’m shown I do say “mummy doesn’t need to see every spoonful, you’re eating really nicely, keep going.” Etc. But he doesn’t stop. If I potter around and tidy up while he’s eating or playing he seeks me out to show me everything. Please tell me this ends! God I sound awful.

No experience on that one sorry and if it's new behaviour, it definitely sounds as if the new sibling could be the cause.

The only thing I can suggest is lots of positive attention, so tell him how important he is and if you are tidying, get him to help. He can do things like put the clothes in the washer, try matching socks and sweeping floors. Just give him
a tonne of praise and attention for doing it.

My teen currently wants to show me endless insta posts, or read me lists/random facts that he is interested in. So sorry no help , its exhausting.

My teen currently wants to show me endless insta posts, or read me lists/random facts that he is interested in. So sorry no help , its exhausting. My DH is similar. You ave my sympathy

My 3.5 year old is the exact same, am also pregnant but she's always done it! I just saw ok, and hope she stops one day 🙈 sorry that's not helpful!!

My husband is the same and always wants to tell me things, and show me things. He's 34...

We have 3 and 4 year olds who do this, and also an 11 year old who shows me the least funny or interesting videos I've ever seen and waits to see my reaction. I think at least 80% of my day is pretending I'm interested in the absolute shit my children watch/do

you don't sound awful. you have the patience of a saint.

I would have no patience for this at all and would've said "I don't want to look, I'm busy with xyz" after spoonful of cereal #2.

@Ducksurprise

My teen currently wants to show me endless insta posts, or read me lists/random facts that he is interested in. So sorry no help , its exhausting.

My teen & preteen do this. There's only so long I can feign interest in TikTok videos before I ask them (nicely) to please go away and leave me to my coffee/book/thoughts!

also I would've asked "why do you want me to look?"

I mean I guess he has some sort of separation anxiety and wants reassurance. but I'd rather talk it out and assure him some other ways.

Not sure this will work but this reminded me of this clip. Keep watching til she talks about small children!!

@Smartiepants79

don't you start showing things!🤣

I would tell him he has 3 looks and so he should save them for the really special things he wants me to see. Then blame the washing up, house cleaning or email (never blame the baby) for why I have to get on so that we can go and do something special like the park etc. but you must really look for the three times he wants you to and make a fuss of him

At this age, DS2 did something similarly repetitive but with ‘what’s your favourite….?’ It was incredibly wearing. I ended up rationing him to four ‘what’s your favourites’ a day. Rather than answering directly, I’d say (light heartedly) ‘are you sure you want to use one of your what’s your favourites’? It made the whole thing less annoying.

He’s 13 now and whatever people may say, I do not miss those repetitive 3/4 yo conversations! But as the pp said, there is a whole new world of teenage drivel to contend with now!

@SeaToSki

brilliant idea!

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

you don't sound awful. you have the patience of a saint.

I would have no patience for this at all and would've said "I don't want to look, I'm busy with xyz" after spoonful of cereal #2.

Same here

@imisscashmere

when mine were at playgroup and would bring home those awful paintings & artwork that were clearly manipulated by the staff that you had to look at I'd stare for 2 seconds, say "that's lovely" then chuck it in the outside bin before we even entered the house. I take no prisoners 🤣

I kept a few nice, meaningful ones or those obviously made by the kids.

My kids went through this stage I just used to say "I don't want to look, it's boring" in the end they stopped 🤣🤣🤣

Perfect the auto 'ooh lovely' response without actually looking up? He's maybe a bit young to explain you don't need to see every last thing. That's what I've now done with dd8. It was better that than losing my rag and shouting I don't care ... which I could sense coming 😆

Another option is to set a teddy up as ‘the watcher’. Explain that it is teddys turn to watch today or this morning or until we go to the park. He has to show teddy each time. Isnt teddy so lucky etc.

Sympathies, OP, just wait until the bore your ears off with talk of some game or tv programme.

My teens still have moments like this (!!)

Remind yourself how valuable it is that they want to communicate.

"Mummy's eyes have to look somewhere else right now" was one I used a lot. Teaching perspective & empathy, hopefully.

I would tell him he has 3 looks and so he should save them for the really special things he wants me to see.

I might try that one on DH

@BunnyRuddington

I would tell him he has 3 looks and so he should save them for the really special things he wants me to see.

I might try that one on DH

Please do that and then ration him to four as Taggie and ask him if he's sure he wants to use one up I'm going to try this on my boy but will be funnier on a dh.

Zing you always make me

as Taggie* suggests

My DH does this 😂 not quite every bite of food but getting close

Mine's almost 4. Same thing here but no new baby to blame for it. It's "Mummy, Mummy, Mummy...." all day long. "Mummy, look what I'm doing". "Mummy, can you play with me in the garden?". "Mummy, what are you doing?" They get loads of targeted attention and 1-on-1 time but it seems they feel they've failed if I ever get to sit down or have one iota of energy left for myself by the end of the day .

I'm trying to teach them Sleeping Lions to get them to shut up for a couple of minutes and have resorted to "quiet time" for 20 minutes when they have to play in their room while I have a cup of tea.

It may be to do with his new sibling and him needing more reassurance. I think it’s natural for the older child to feel a bit unsettled with a new baby and trying to find their place in the new family.

I’d do what pp said and let him know you need to do x,y,z before going out/playing. Don’t blame the baby (not that you’ve said you are). Otherwise keep doing what you’re doing after the 80th spoon but do it sooner.

I’m sure it will stop. My kids still want to show me things (not every bite) and if they’ve shown me the same thing I’ll tell them something similar. I think it helps now they’re older they can show each other things so I don’t need to be shown everything