Want to try breastfeeding again…feeling sad

[roseswade]

Hi all,

FTM to a 6 week old. When DD was born I started breastfeeding and to cut a long story short after days of screaming, crying (from mum and baby), bleeding and bruised nipples and a whole lot of stress, we were eventually told DD had tongue tie. It wasn’t divided until recently so we ended up fully formula feeding as she just couldn’t latch properly and I was limited with positions as I was recovering from a a c section. I feel desperately sad as I really wanted to breastfeed (nothing against FF, I just really wanted to try BFing).

Now the tongue tie has been corrected I’ve been desperate to try breastfeeding again. I know it would be a lot of work as DD is now used to the bottle. I’ve been hand expressing to make sure I have some milk. I’ve tried a few times to get her to latch on but just can’t make it work. I’ve also tried seeking in person support but am really struggling to get anything as a lot of places near us aren’t really seeing people and if they are they are so booked up. I don’t have a HV appointment until the end of next week.

Is it even possible for me to start trying to BF again or is it a lost cause?

I’m sitting here in floods of tears after another unsuccessful attempt and feeling like a failure. Any advice would be welcomed

It is possible! Can you pay for a IBC lactation consultant to come to the house?

www.motherlove.com/blogs/all/want-to-start-breastfeeding-after-stopping-our-guide-to-relactation

Google Kelly Mom and relactation - that's what it is called.

As you've been expressing there's absolutely every chance you can do this

Until tongue tie was fixed this week I was mainly pumping as could not get my baby to latch. Each attempt was painful and so slow as baby would be on and off and I'd be in agony. Now the tongue tie is fixed weeks later finally, and we are learning the right way it is still slow but no longer painful. I had been told all sorts of unhelpful things about latch so it is challenging to learn it right but totally doable. Keep pumping or hand expressing so you still have plenty of time whilst you wait for help. A HV is the wrong person though get a professional in.

You’re not a failure! You’re doing an amazing job that is right for both DD and you (equally important). Your DD is fed.

DS (3 weeks) has mild tongue tie (borderline in his scores) so I have some empathy. Bleeding nipples during the heatwave was agony! We did a mixture of expressed / formula / breast.

I know some smaller babies don’t breast feed until later weeks so I definitely think breastfeeding is possible.

Have you contacted the breastfeeding support network or la leche league or peer to peer breastfeeding support?

Hiya I had a similar experience to you, tongue tie at 9 weeks identified via slow weight gain. I was told to bf, express and bottlefeed. All a bit mad. I decided to leave bf as it was very stressful baby was crying at the breast firstly because there wasn't enough milk due to the drop in supply and secondly because he got used to the bottle. I felt like I grieved a week or so and had help from my LC to get through what felt like trauma. I now EBM and FF mixed. I miss bf and feeding my son that way it was for 2 months. Those were special moments but I had to do what was best for him aswel and seeing him struggle at the breast after 8 weeks just made me feel like it was all too confusing for him and upsetting for us both. He has gained weight and looks much morehealthier now.
If u feel u have a good milk supply there do try and carry on. If you don't it's a matter of how much time you put in and how your baby reacts to breast and bottles together. I wish you all the best xx

It might be possible, and I don't want to sound like the voice of doom but I also don't want you to fall into the same trap that I did.

My baby also had tongue tie and didn't gain weight so we supplemented with formula from 4 weeks. I DESPERATELY wanted to get back to EBF and was told that now her tie was corrected what I needed to do was pump to increase my supply... Long story short l spent about 7 months pumping pumping pumping, seeing lactation consultant after lactation consultant, even taking drugs to increase supply. It was awful and really affected my relationship with my baby.

Again, sorry to be the voice of doom, it may well work better for you so I'm not telling you not to try, BUT remember that there is far more to being a fantastic mother than BF/formula. If you can do EBF then that's great (and less work sterilising!) If you can get back to BFing a bit and mix feed then that's great. If you decide to give straight formula then that's also great and you will be a great mum.

Just make sure you do what's right for you and don't give the feeding issue more weight than it deserves.

And congratulations on your baby! X

@Pigeonorcoot out of curiosity did your supply stay consistent/increase/decrease through those 7 months of pumping? What was your experience like? Just asking as iv been pumping for a couple of months.

Relactation book by Lucy ruddle ibclc, hosp grade double pump, hands free pumping bra and as much support as you can get. Totally possible, bloody hard but worth it if you feel so strongly

Yes, it can be done. Look up Lucy Ruddle relactation. She's on Facebook. Incredible lady.

@Lullaby88 it increased a bit but not enough to exclusively BF and not enough to be worth all that time spent with a pump rather than my baby!

On the positive side I've now stopped pumping and stopped worrying about the ratio of formula to breast milk that baby is getting but she's still feeding from me and life is so much better 😊 I give both bottle and boob before each nap and before bedtime, then boob throughout the day and night at other times when she wants it. I think one problem with all the pumping is that ironically it actually stops you being available for so many breastfeeds. DD has just turned one and she's actually feeding super frequently still (I think for comfort as she's just started nursery).