Baby sharing room with sibling

[Aimee6670]

Help needed! I’m at breaking point.

My little girl is 9months old.
I have a step daughter 3 years old that stays overnight twice a week.
They share a room.
Neither of them sleep through the night. When one wakes 9/10 they wake the other up.
Then baby usually ends up in our bed and toddler takes ages to get back to sleep. But we have no option other for them to share a room.
I’ve tried to get 3YO to sleep through with the imagination of fairy’s and gifts if she sleeps through but doesn’t always work.
I also have a 8 year old step son his room is too small to share with toddler.

I’m stuck. Baby has forgotten how to self soothe because I feel we broke the habit by just putting her in our bed. She’s also been going through sleep regression and teething. It’s all happening.
Once step daughter isn’t staying baby is impossible to put to bed as she just wants to be rocked or in our bed. She has a meltdown to the point she’s made herself sick. We have tried controlled crying as we did that to begin with to teach self soothe but doesn’t seem to work now she gets in such a state and it’s heartbreaking.
Can someone please help a desperate mum.

Thanks
Aimee

I don't know how to help to be honest. Ours moved in with eachother at 1 and 3 and settled after two very hard long weeks. Then it took a bit longer to ensure the one year old would settle by sssssh patting him in the dark. I think because it's only a few days a week they never quite get used to eachother. Neither of mine wake eachother up anymore. Sorry I can't be of much use

The only other thing is to set up a camp bed next to your own bed for the 3 year old. We did this temporarily whilst our little boy had a bad cough and cold and he slept through fine

Or the other option is to move your son's bedroom and baby's room around so baby can sleep with him. Perhaps until baby and 3 year old sleep through better?

Put the baby in the smaller room and the older two in the larger room?

I also meant what @Pissinthepottyplease said. Put toddler in with him, not baby. 🤦‍♀️Seems to be the logical conclusion from what you say.

Can you fit the baby’s cot in your room? Irrespective of the 3YO, I wouldn’t have a baby in their own room unless they are reliably sleeping through as it’s just so much more work to traipse down the corridor for every resettle. I’d also put an extra mattress (trundle bed?) in the children’s bedroom so there is somewhere to lie down if the 3YO also needs settling overnight- I’d suggest that your OH does this whilst you look after the baby. Also has your OH spoken to the 3YO’s mum about her sleep there and are you all trying to stick to a common approach?

Put DSS and DSD in same room. My DS and Dd shared till Dd was 10 and DS was 7. Or put mattress in floor in your room abs teach baby to sleep alone. When you move toddler up to you. It could be quite a while.....🤦🏼‍♀️

Can you fit a travel cot in your room? If so, I’d just bring the baby back into your room on the nights the toddler is staying. You can buy a proper mattress for a travelcot for £20 so it’s nice and comfy.

@Pissinthepottyplease

Put the baby in the smaller room and the older two in the larger room?

This ^

I waited until the baby slept through to move them in with the toddler. Now the toddler is the most likely to wake up but has learnt to come through to us quietly so doesn't wake the baby.

Wow such much advise thank you.
So.....
Could potentially put mattress in step sons room just about enough space.
Step daughter has not long transitioned to her own single bed as she’s tiny and slept in cot until 2 half. So don’t really want to mess her around too much either because changing all the time isn’t good.
There room isn’t huge so step son can’t move into that room. Unable to swap rooms.
There is a stair gate on the girls room because we didn’t want her wondering into our room all the time in the night or potentially going downstairs.
Maybe taking it off will help as she won’t call out when she wakes then won’t wake baby.
Travel cot won’t fit in our room.
Occasionally me or OH have got into bed with SD when woken to help her get back to sleep but don’t want this to become habit.
OH and children’s mum don’t have the best communication and it’s extremely frustrating.

Thanks for advice. Will speak to my partner tonight.